[busterleroy]

Okay all...
I was searching EBay tonight for some fall items for my daughter. Came across a cute dress, NWT, low price from a great designer. Thinking I found a great seller, I check the seller's other items and there are a few other items of clothing along with a lot of 'post-mortem baby photos'

This can’t be what I am thinking it is...so I click on the link for more info. Sure enough, photos of various children, some in coffins, some not. I think there were 19 photos in all.

What in the heck is that about?

So I search ‘post-mortem baby photo’ on EBay and there are many of these for sale. They look to be antique photos... deceased children in various settings…who would want these? For what purpose? The search also indicated that you could specify whether you wanted photos of deceased girls or boys. One listing even advertised ‘ eyes open’. I did NOT click on that, too upsetting.

I don't get it, and this is really unsettling.

Can anyone shed some light on this? WHY?

[kakuehl]

I've never heard of selling pictures like this; I have heard of pictures taken of stillborn children for the parents to have.

[Withay]

I know that my mom has a picture of my cousin after she passed away at 14 months back in the 50's. My aunt and uncle were too poor to be able to have a portrait taken of their daughter so someone took this picture after she passed. It is the only picture I know of of my cousin.

I've never heard of selling the pictures though.

[Lupin]

In times past it was actually common & considered something along the lines of "good" to take & keep pictures of deceased Loved Ones, so that maybe you could capture a little bit of them to stay with you. It was particularly "fashionable" in times when it was a rarity to have any picture of someone just due to simple cost, you wanted one thing to remember them by, but there was never time or $$ when they were alive, so now that they are dead you have only a very finite time, & you know/knew it. So you had their pictures taken, again often they were actually posed as though still alive. I believe the movie "The Others" touches on this.

And what is usually one of the most Precious things to want to remember for most parents? Their children. But that's for the Antique ones. However they do now do those for infants that die very young or are stillborn, so again the parents have something to hold onto when they don't get to take the baby home from the hospital. Sometimes the families are "lucky" enough that their dieing child will live long enough for the photographer to make it there before they pass on, but even in those circumstances, the parents just want to hold their child while they can. I see alot of these pictures over on my Parenting forums.

[vegaschristina]

Originally Posted by kakuehl

I've never heard of selling pictures like this; I have heard of pictures taken of stillborn children for the parents to have.

One of my friends on another site takes those pictures. She says it's hard, but so very meaningful for the family to do it.

[gwenrenee007]

We have a friend who's son was stillborn and they have pics of him around the house with his eyes closed and he just looks like he was sleeping. However I don't think that is what the OP is talking about is it? I think she means people are buying pics of various kids deceased - and they are not related...like some people just like to have pics of deceased children they are not related to. Is that correct?

[BrandyHagz]

Everyone has their own 'thing'. You can read more about the practice, still used today in some areas, on WikiPedia (not the most trusted, but still) Post-mortem photography - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Some people who purchase victorian homes do so with the fact in mind that they will redcorate in the period. I would guess that period decore would inlude at least one of these photos.

[SisterBear]

Not for me but I'm not a collector of anything!

I do think it is sad/strange how scared our culture is of dead bodies. I've had several people suggest that we not have Carmen's body at her funeral. I guess people are squeamish about children.

Oh and we are totally going to have Carmen at her funeral! She will be up in Heaven and it will just be her body.

[wvamom]

You know, if it were the only picture I could have of my child, I might consider a post-mortem picture. But I can't envision showing it to the public.


I know of a blog of a well-known Christian artist where they posted a picture of their deceased daughter, and I just can't bring myself to go to that site. It's just disturbing to me.

I do go to open casket wakes, which doesn't bother me as much, but I wouldn't want to have these same peoples' deceased pictures posted in my home--I think I just want to remember them the way they were, and think of them in heaven.

[cborsa7]

Yeah, not getting this one either.

I get taking a picture of your child and keeping it. I don't get buying pictures or selling pictures of someone else's child. Strange..

[Guatemom]

My cousin, Erica, died at 6 wks old of heart complications...I think I was 6. I have been given some of the pictures of her in her coffin at the wake. I've never found them as 'disturbing', but rather comforting b/c I know where she truly is, and it looks like she is just sleeping. Also, I do know that the only picture my aunt had of her alive was once at the photography studio, and she was cringing from pain in that picture. They did try the portrait thing; but b/c of Erica's frail little body, the pics didn't turn out well at all. I remember they took her to have them made, and they were SO very proud (who wouldn't be?) But, the picture of her close up, there is no dispute that she was in pain. I remember that even the area around her mouth was blue (bad circulation). She rarey smiled, and the pics showed all of that pain. Now as a mother, I imagine that bittersweetness of that picture. I also remember that the majority of time she was home, she was crying (or at least when I was there). And my mom has told me that Erica spent all of her little life in pain...so the pics of her "sleeping" peacefully, where she is swaddled in a soft, pink blanket, are truly priceless to her parents, & us.
So my 2 cents: if you have a personal endearment to the child that has passed, I don't see anything wrong with having the post-mortem photos of her.

[NJNative]

And that's when this practice started. In addition to photos, they would hang mourning wreaths on their doors, make jewelry from the deceased's hair, wear mourning clothes for proscribed lengths of time (depending on the relationship of the person to the deceased). In fact, it's amazing that anyone was ever OUT of mourning during those times, since the child mortality rate was high and people often died much younger than today.

They also used letterhead with a black border if they were in mourning, and their social activities were restricted during mourning periods.

I am certainly glad we don't follow those practices today.

[busterleroy]

Thanks for the insight on the Victorian history. I have heard of people photographing deceased friends and relatives just before they were laid to rest.

The part that was unsettling to me was why so many people are selling - and buying - photographs of deceased children who, in all likelihood, they have never met.

[dpen6]

Originally Posted by busterleroy

Thanks for the insight on the Victorian history. I have heard of people photographing deceased friends and relatives just before they were laid to rest.

The part that was unsettling to me was why so many people are selling - and buying - photographs of deceased children who, in all likelihood, they have never met.

I understand your question. Who would be in the market to buy such pictures. They are sad pictures that were to comfort the family

But to sell on ebay??? Huh?

[BabyDefender]

Hello Everyone.............

I cannot speak for others.....but I was one of the ones who bought a post mortem photo. I never had the chance to choose eyes closed or opened. Losing a baby is very heart wrecking. I bought a few original ones for 2 books I am the author of.

I do not know why people collect these. I would assume they think it is rare. But really it is more common then people think. Some folks many many years ago could not afford a photo of a child and never had one. It was VERY EXPENSIVE. When that child died, the only and final rememberence they would of had ---was to get a photo taken. Grant it , it was very expensive back them to have a picture taken. Some of who decided to at least have one picture of the child ( which was dead ) they made it a display on their cabinets in loving memory. It was the only photo they had.

I hope this clears up some confusion as to why there were pictures taken. I don't know why people collect them---history ? history of phototgraphy? Make money ? Who knows.......... My reason to get just a few was a project==my two books........

God Bless You All.............