[amylulu]

Hello everyone!

Our foster family is struggling right now. Their family is in desperate need for work to support them. She says the work climate and government are very difficult right for so many people who have lost their job.
She has visited us before and has a Visa.
What are your thoughts about your foster mom coming to nanny your children? We are just in the brainstorming phase and nothing is planned. I am wondering what the good and the bad of this as yo would see it. I would have her not live in our house---possibly rent a room from my aunt who lives a few streets away. (I think it would be too hard/confusing for Emma if she lived with her 24/7 for several months and then returned home.)

I currently have a sitter 3 days a week come to our house while we work so I could use the help. I would also love for ALL of my children to learn Spanish--this could be a wonderful gift. But it also can present problems. Please share your thoughts about this subject with me as I try to process from every possible angle before I make any plans.

Thanks!
Amy

[ej-momtobe]

A couple of thoughts:

Just because she has a visa does not mean she can legally work here. (I am certainly not going to lecture you about if that 'should' disqualify her for the job...) If you are going to adopt again they would probably want to interview your nanny and it would not be favorable if the nanny was working here without the proper permits.

Also, if she didn't work out as a nanny, what would your options be? Could you get her on a plane back home? I have no doubt that she took great care of your DD in Guat, but it is possible that for some reason things just don't work out with her here.

Other than that, I do think that it would be a great idea, a great connection for your kids to their past.

Our foster mom had asked us if she could come to the US to be nanny, during our pickup trip. She did not have a visa, so that conversation did not go far.

[Ana01]

There was a similar thread on another forum yesterday.

Personally, I would love it if my fostermom could come and stay with us for a few months and help around the house. Granted, I wouldn't be able to pay her a great salary but I sure would appreciate the help.

I know the argument "oh what if it doesn't work out". I am not sure why it wouldn't? If you have a long standing relationship with this woman, you clearly communicate what your expectations are, and this is someone who you obviously trusted with the care of your child -- and she obviously did a good job since you've maintained in touch with her....why not?

After yesterdays post, I have simply been fantasizing about the idea of my fostermom here to help me. I would keep my son in his current daycare set up. But I would have an extra set of hands to help with him, in the mornings and in the evenings, cook and clean. Plus, go with us on our outings. I, personally, would welcome it.

Also, my son has been home long enough to form a healthy attachment to me. So as long as clear boundaries were set; I don't see the problem.

I know a lot of people don't like the idea of it but I do....

[nwparents]

A visitor's visa (i.e. B1/B2) does not give your foster mom permission to work here. In fact, if she does so, and gets caught she could possibly face deportation - the chances are slim, but it is illegal. Sorry. Maybe she could somehow get a J1 visa to become a nanny?

[SKL]

I'm going to assume that you would only consider this if you were sure she had the legal right to work for you here. So all those legalities aside . . . .

First, you might be in a position of hiring her as an "employee" and having to deal with various legal requirements and taxes in that respect. You may be fine with that, so . . . .

I can think of many pros and cons. If your baby remembers living with her, he could be very confused and even hurt by having her come into and out of his life. Even if that weren't an issue, it might be very hard for all involved to cut the relationship off completely whenever she needed to go back to Guatemala. But on the positive side, chances are that she will be very loving and nurturing toward your children - both because of the Guatemalan connection, and because of the Latin American mindset toward children. Depending on what your kids' needs are, this could be a huge plus.

The language issue - this is great if speaking good English won't be important to you during the time she will be here. Unless her English is very good, I'd recommend that she speak only Spanish to your children, so they don't get confused about proper English. (I'm going through an issue in that regard with my Honduran nanny who isn't willing to stop speaking (poor) English with my 2-year-olds.)

The issue someone else brought up about "what if it doesn't work out" is a real one. A nanny needs to have good chemistry with you and your kids. If she rubs someone the wrong way, what could you do? Ship her back? Would you be able to help her find another job in the US? If you decide to try this out, be prepared with "Plan B."

Personally, I don't think I could do this. It is a huge commitment with a lot of unknowns. I might be more inclined to work with an organization in Guatemala to help her get a decent job there.

[Mommy K]

I would be comfortable with this scenario. I would want her to live with us for a time. I don't know about the employment part of it, but I think her presence in my dd life would be a plus.

[amylulu]

Thank you for all the thought provoking posts! My fostermom does have a "working visa" that allows her employment for no more than 6 months and then she must return for a specific amount of time back to Guatemala. I will ask if it is a J1.
She came and stayed with us for 10 days last year. It was great. We had no issues---her English is "good enough". My children are 7, 5, and 2. The 5 year old thought it was fun to teach her new words and would quiz her on objects in each room! I would ask her to speak Spanish--I think this could be a wonderful intro to Spanish for my children.
I will make sure all the papers are in order. We are NOT adopting so there really isn't a issue with her time here causing a problem for us---but I want her time with us to be on the up and up. I would NEVER want her to do something that could cause her to get into trouble down the road.
Again, thanks so much for your posts. If anyone has other ideas/issues---please share!
Amy

[LRA]

I would try to move Heaven and Earth for that opportunity. Lucky you. I have tried to think of ways I could get our foster family here so they could work due to their financial situation also. I hope it works out for you, I would think this would be great thing for your kids.

[avoel]

I guess my biggest thought is, seriously, would she be able to make enough money working for you, after taxes, any medical bills, and rent/supplies/transportation costs etc to be able to send enough back to Guatemala to support her family and make it worthwhile for her to be here. I know we tend to think that our money goes a long way in Guatemala...but if she is here, and has even one minor illness or injury requiring medical treatment and does not have health insurance (or are you going to be able to provide that for her as her employer?) she could easily wipe out any earnings very quickly.

Honestly, like someone else said, when my daughter's foster mom has been in this situation, I have found it easier to assist her in finding work in Guatemala, and supporting her until that was accomplished however I could.