[cattlefarms]

Sorry for starting another one, but I just finished watching tonights show and it was just so very sad. I know a lot of you do not care for Kate, but man let me tell you I felt really bad for her... And Jon, what in the world. I would say he has changed. He was acting like a real self centered jerk! Plan an simple. With words like being" Excitted, and Doing what was best for him".. Yep you betcha he is doing what is best for him, cause walking out on your kids, and being excitted about it is only about him....

Very sad.. I just dont understand why he couldnt have just bitten the bullet left his girlfriend alone for a while and got through the season, and then ended things. Now this is all documented for the kids to go back and look at.. Very sad... But he doesnt know what the future holds, he may get a job offer or something.. Hello, its about time... Maybe he wont get fired from this one and then say he is staying home to care for his kids.... Sorry but cheating is never excusable. Never!

[stilldeciding]

It is sad to watch! I hope they all find peace..but divorce is NEVER an easy end all to things. My DH and I almost divorced over his parents...they caused so many issues that we were stressed out all the time. But in our case,the two of us as a couple have always been rock solid, so hence why we still are together after nearly 21 years. But we took our issues about the in-laws to our pastor and worked things out. I would have liked to have seen both Kate and Jon get their pastor to counsel them before just ending things the way they did. I know for my DH we couldn't be more in love and happier then we are today. I am so lucky to say I have the best hubby in the world.
I believe with proper attention and love in ANY marriage, that relationship can be restored, IF the two people involved want that. In the case of this family...I wish them luck and irregardless of them divorcing or not....they deserve to be happy. I will be praying for them!

[becky]

I do not understand why they have not had counseling. It appears that Jon isn't interested in trying to save their marriage.

He is 32 years old, has been involved in a very stressful family situation for many years and now he just wants to be free to live the 'good life'...without the hassle of a wife and kids.

I cannot imagine having to leave my house for part of every week so that my ex-husband could move in. I know it may be best for the kids...but how awful for Kate!!

I really feel for those kids...it's bad enough when parents divorce...but to have it played out on national television...oh my!

[kirbystarcat]

Okay, I have been trying to put my finger on why I am so grumpy about this situation. My parents divorced when I was in college, so believe me I do not believe in staying together for the kids sake. Heavens knows it would have been better for my parents to split years before they did. However, J&K have EIGHT children, six of whom aren't even in school yet. Did they even try to get some help? If you can let tv cameras in your house and follow your every move, you can certainly try counseling. Heck that would have given TLC something good to tape. And now they are going to continue to film this spectacle with them alternating coming in and out of the house? Can you imagine what a mess that house is going to be after his turn? She'll spend half her turn getting it back in order each time. Anyhow I digress.
And here I go getting on my soapbox. Feel free to flame me, and please know I mean no disrespect to anyone who has or will build their family through use of fertility. I know adoption and fertility are very different. I know the goals are different. Adoption is about finding good homes for children rather than finding children for couples. But if adoptive parents are required to submit every detail of their lives to get approved to adopt in part because as a group adoptees tend to have certain predictable issues that they will deal with and the homestudy helps us prepare for that, what is being done at fertility clinics? If the stat Kate gave a few weeks ago is true about some very high percentage of parents of multiples end up divorcing and fertility tends to increase a couple's chance of multiples, what support is given to them to help them deal with that possibility and prepare for it and what it will mean to their marriage? Who is doing postbirth visits with them the way our children have postplacements, in our case, for three years with a social worker, to check in and see how everything is going? I'm not saying this would save these marriages necessarily, anymore than having a homestudy and postplacements assure our children won't struggle, but isn't it better than doing nothing to prepare and self assess? I can't imagine the stress having 8 children that young brings and how you are supposed to deal with it. Yet, as a society we send tv cameras in to tape it while doing nothing to help give them skills to deal with it.

[dspakowsky]

It all makes me sad...

Both of them said a million times "my kids come first..." Well, in a marriage, your spouse MUST come first! Once you have a strong marriage, you can excel and grow and be a GREAT parent.

I think Kate will be OK in the end... but the kids will see all this and struggle, I'm sure. Dad steps out with other women... says he's excited to start his new life which may or may not be near his kids... sad.

[stilldeciding]

I so wish they would have had counseling! I come from a family of divorce so I know firsthand what these kids are going to go through. But in my DH and my case...we never did official counseling..but just went in to talk to our pastor about the in-laws. We either one have a miracle working Pastor or a light bulb went off in our heads...because one "talk" with him and literally...we are seemingly cured of the in law issues that plagued us for over 18 years. My DH has always felt guilty for getting married because his parents fought hard for him NOT too. Our Pastor literally figured out immediately within minutes what my DH was struggling with. Turns out because I was the one who "picked Him"...he literally felt all these years that he did not pick me too. It might sound strange..but literally his loyalty was to his parents..because he didn't take full ownership of half of our relationship. When he realized this seemingly small error in his head...this tiny "thought" he had all these years he NEVER even realized..our Pastor literally just told him this was THE problem. Since then, he has had an awakening of HOW he THOUGHT and literally almost immediately things got better. In Jon and Kate's case...it seems they never even tried to deal with their issues. Even when they renewed their vows...the love wasn't there..it was obvious it was over between them. But then again, it takes two people to mess a marriage up and two people to restore the marriage. If he wants out he wants out. People may have their opinions on who's to fault..but IMO both of them need to want to work things out and if one says no, in Jon's case..he says no..then there is little Kate can do to change his mind. With 8 kids, you'd think he'd try to get their marriage back on track...it is so sad and to be honest..no show, no money would ever be better then a happy and loving home.

[devildogwife]

Have they actually said that they didn't try counseling? I would think it's possible that they did but didn't share it.

[Teri33]

Kate wasn't a saint either though. She is rumored to also have had an affair. I think she wanted things to go back to how they were before when she just yelled at Jon and treated him as one of the kids and is now mad cuz he grew a back bone and doesn't want to be treated that way anymore. I think Kate kicked Jon out of her life cuz he wouldn't do what she wanted just like she did to her parents, her brother, the list goes on and on there. I feel really bad for the kids, but not for Kate at all.

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by Teri33

Kate wasn't a saint either though. She is rumored to also have had an affair. I think she wanted things to go back to how they were before when she just yelled at Jon and treated him as one of the kids and is now mad cuz he grew a back bone and doesn't want to be treated that way anymore. I think Kate kicked Jon out of her life cuz he wouldn't do what she wanted just like she did to her parents, her brother, the list goes on and on there. I feel really bad for the kids, but not for Kate at all.

Very well said! ITA. I'm glad he decided to finally stop putting up with her garbage. Being talked to/yelled at/put down like that for year after year had to totally just destroy his self esteem.

[cattlefarms]

I agree that Kate has been no saint. I believe she even says she has made many mistakes. But as far as Jon getting a back bone. I believe you can get a back bone and not bail on you wife and kids..As far as I can tell he sure does NOT have a problem with his self esteem unless you consider it being way to high. With his sports car, his motorcycle, his girlfriend, his partying with college girls, and his comments about being excitted about his new life, and that its time for him to do what makes him happy..

Walking out on your kids is not a back bone. It being a coward! A complete and total quieter and a coward. Maybe he should have stood up and said this show is over, I will go out and get a job, and we are fixing our family, but that is not what he did.

I again I do not think Kate has been a saint, but no one ever, ever deserves to be cheated on under any circumstances.

[Amandak249]

I have no sympathy for Kate.

She seems to have NO idea why her husband is so angry with her. She clearly is unaware of how she comes off and how her mistreatment of him has affected him over the years. That poor man has 8 children to love and take care of, and his wife treats him as if he is child #9. She was a witch if I ever saw one, and though I think she is a capable mother, she does not seem to be a very nice woman.


In her defense, however, Jon CHOSE to have fertility treatments with this woman. What did he expect? That no children would result? These people chose to continue a pregnancy of 6, even with their 2 twins at home. All the power to them- but now that things are getting rough their immaturity is coming through. This man may have felt trapped by all those kids- but he not only walked into that trap- he did so willingly! We make our choices and then we live with them.

Kate's a little witch- but Jon is a big pansy.


Mostly, I feel sad for those kids.

[ChelleBrewer]

Originally Posted by Amandak249

Mostly, I feel sad for those kids.

You said it.

[becky]

My hubby just sent me a link saying that he show has been temporarily suspended. I honestly am glad about that. I didn't want to watch when those kids had to learn that their parents are divorcing and learning to adjust to their new living arrangements.

That family needs some time away from the media...which of course will not happen even if the show isn't being filmed.

So so sad....

[pjb1967]

They are both crazy!

Who came up with the idea to use their marriage status update as a way to get more ratings? All week the commercials for that show were how there was "a big announcement" on Monday's show, and a week worth of speculation on what the announcement would be.

How sick! The divorce filling would have come out in the news and entertainment shows, isn't that enough? But no! Someone, either Jon & Kate or TLC thought, "hey, we can use this to our advantage and make it into a special announcement" show, imagine the ratings?"

Again, just sick!

[bhouston]

I just felt so sad after last nights show....

Yes Jon is (IMO) being very immature and self centered..

and...Kate..treated Jon awful...but really for him to now use that to live like a single guy...that time is long past...

I was so sad it didnt seem that they even got couseling...to just give up without a fight...not as in a fight with each other but a fight for their marriage...

Kate said she was never happier a few shows back...even though Jon was miserable...that should have been a sign...

I hated how they kept saying this is for the kids...we moved into this big million dollar home for the kids...I think the kids were fine in the other home...with a mom and dad who loved each other...

Maddie seems to have changed the most...she use to be so bratty but not any more...she has had her whole life torn apart...

If Jon and Kate really wanted to do this for the kids...they would shut down production...get into some good counseling...and Kate stay home off of book tours for awhile...That would be for the kids...no glory for themselves or attention....they would be surprised how quickly the media moved onto another hot story....when they werent out there making news...

Dr Phil always says you have to earn your way into a divorce...not just give up and walk away....

It doesnt seem they even tried...last season they were renewing their vows saying they were committed for life...I think they do love each other but just do not know how to handle all the stress and pressure....

And yes Kate did boss Jon around...but those crooked houses did not belong out in the woods away from the house!! Kate was right on that one!

I went to bed so sad for all those little children...and for Jon and Kate...Jon will look back at this and regret this choice....I have two grown sons...the time goes very fast...and to raise two sons into adulthood and be married to their dad and sit with him at their college graduation....no one knows what the feels like or means to me more than their dad...and we did it together...it wasnt easy...and I said to my husband after watching the show...if we can make it ...anyone can...we had none of the resources they had...but we did have the want most of the time!

Also I grew up in a divorce home....It leaves scars...for a lifetime....

Beth in Idaho