[Isasparents]

Our beautiful Guatemalan princess has been home for over a year and a half. She has had no attachment issues, and is a very happy little girl. My daugher has always had a preference for men (she prefers to be held by dad vs. mom, grandpa vs. grandma). Her first word after pick up was "dada".

When my wife and I are together she preferrs to be held by me. At night, when she wakes up crying, she yells for me. When it is just dd and my wife, everything is fine, she huggs and kisses on her mommy so much (my wife is an incredible mom). Lately, when I come home from work, it is like mom is invisble. It is really hurting my wife's feelings. I may be partly responsible because it has been clear from pick up that I am the "fun" one and mommy is the "disciplinarian". Sorry, but that was the division of labor with my parents. Also, my wife, due to a childhood illness, is not able to walk with dd in her arms for long periods of time and dd loves to be walked around (again another one of "its probably my fault"). I think it is because dd goes with my wife to work and my wife is able to check up on her and sees her more throughout the day (nursary in her building).

Is this normal daddy's girl behavior? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

[erinelway]

I think it's normal. She will probably switch back and forth on her 'allegience' over time. Both of our sons clung to my husband when we first brought them home. Over time, they decided it was me that they wanted. Then they switched back, and so on.

Right now it's all about Mama for both of them. My husband, who was used to being the 'favorite', admitted that it was hard to see this happen the first time with our older son. I laughed, having felt the same way when the situation was reversed. I have noticed that with the second adoption neither of us take these phases of favoritism as seriously at all, because we both know that they will flip back and forth over time.

Your baby loves your wife every bit as much as you. Kids are fickle.

[DPline]

My daughter is a totally Daddy's Girl and has been since we first met her at 5 months old. When Daddy is home, I rank slightly below chopped liver.

I do think it is also in part to the kids are with me all day, and Daddy is a bit of a novelty. And he doesn't drag them to the grocery store, and the post office, and all the not so fun every day things that must be done. Also what you mentioned about Dad being the fun one and Mom the disiplinarian.

Now my older son will pick me over Dad for most things, but when he was a baby and a toddler my husband worked odd shifts and traveled a lot so usually it was just him and me 24/7. My younger son will go with whoever he thinks will let him have what he wants.

[Slatond10]

I am a single Mom ... but my DD is completely man crazy. If Papa or Uncle or even friend's Dads are around ... like DPline said "I rank slightly below chopped liver. "

But I think this is NORMAL!... and I love that she loves these men in our life.

[JillnChris]

I can tell you that I have a major daddy's girl on my hands as well. It does hurt my feelings sometimes but I know that we have our own special relationship and like you said it is probably mainly because she doesn't see her dad as much and he is also the "fun" one.
I don't think you have anything to be concerned about. I can see that you care about your wife and her feelings so maybe just encourage the relationship between your wife and daughter as much as possible. Say things to your daugther about how much her mommy loves her and how happy it makes you to see them together. Try and include your wife in the fun you are having as well.

[whereintheworld]

We have a daddy's girl and a mommy's boy. Our princess clearly prefers dad, almost all of the time. My DH is also the fun one in our house. In spite of all that, my son adores me like I never have been adored, and I know it won't last....so I am really enjoying it )

Occasionally I find it annoying that DD doesn't reach for me more, but I try to have occasional special opportunities one on one with her that aren't about running errands or daily chores.

I really think it is a totally normal phase.

[Isasparents]

Thanks everyone for the input. Tonight my dd reminded me that despite the fact that she loves it when daddy walks her around, she is at her happiest when when all three of us are together and having fun. Good night.

[amyfk]

Hi Isasparents,

I have a little one in a similar age range to yours. I am the mom. I am the main one home right now(though I did go back to school and now have a sitter sometimes). However, my dd is a total daddy's girl. On his days off she prefers to be with him almost all the time. She even wants him to take her to public restrooms instead of me. She likes affection more from him too. I joke that when my husband is home I am like "chopped liver?" I dont mind though-Im glad they get along really well.
I guess it's more common than we think,
Amy K, NJ

[arthymom]

I am the least popular parent in my house. Both dd and ds prefer dad.

I'm just the strict one and daddy is a way fun daddy. It's hard being me (I wear the pants......) but I'm learning to let the control go and be fun and then I have my own fun times w/the kids too.

But it is stressful sometimes when we're all together and both kids want dad (restaurants, crossing streets, swimming and the three main issues...)

I do get sad at times but mostly try to tell myself that I'm lucky that I have such a cool husband dad. Tell your wife she's not alone.

[rapf777]

This is VERY NORMAL....DD is with me all day and when "HER" Daddy comes home I get pushed aside and forgotten...It also gives DH a time to bond with her and they have an AWESOME relationship. Which I did not have with my dad because he always worked and never was around.

[shelbydog]

Very normal I think! My daughter "prefers" my husband. My son "prefers" me. We even sit that way at dinner in restaurants 90% of the time my son begs to sit next to me, and Mia next to Daddy. They do switch from time to time but not alot. I think it's quite normal.

[guatparents2be]

sounds about right to me.

just a thought but is your wife able to use an ergo carrier? it would allow her and the baby to have close physical time without needing to use her arms.