[w8ting4Thomas]

Here is the dilemma (though a good one to have)...
My DH lost his job in March. It has not been a fun 3 months, but he found out this weekend that he has a new job with a company based in France. He has to go for training for 10-14 days in the next 6 weeks. I want to go with him (not for the entire time, but maybe 5-7 days). I was going to take Thomas - he turned 2 in April.
I have traveled quite a bit and know how long these flights get...especially the one coming home. My DH thinks we should leave him here with my mom and/or his parents (who he knows and loves, though has only spent 2 nights away from us with one of them). DH just thinks that despite DVD players, snacks, toys it will be miserable getting there and then him adjusting to the time change. I guess I know deep down he is probably right, but what are anyone else's thoughts on this? People travel with toddlers every day and they survive, but DH says let him stay here in his surroundings for 5 days or so and he and I can also enjoy the get away more.
Thoughts??? Can I make it 5 days or so without him??? Good problem to have, I know, but I can't decide what to do. If he is going I want to get a US passport ASAP!
Thanks

[loveajax]

My dh and I went to paris last summer for our tenth anniversary. We made it like a four night trip because I didn't want to leave dd (who was 3 at the time)much longer. She stayed with her nana and had a blast...and dh and I had the best time of our lives. I was honestly zonked when I returned...long flight and time change, etc.

Have a great time whether it is the two or three of you! I want to go back!!!

[hbrown22]

That is awesome! Sorry about the job loss but great he found a new one. I have always been of the mindset that kids wouldn't prevent me from doing those types of things. Not that we have jet-setted to Europe yet though! I would take him unless you are looking for a getaway with DH. He would be fine here with your mom and he would be fine in France with you. Well, that was helpful wasn't it? I guess what I am saying is that I will take my kids anywhere, I love giving them life experiences, so don't let the long plane trip stop you if that is your concern. I know how long it is though. When I was a teenager my family went to Europe. My brother and I caught the flu the night before and spent the entire flight with it. Talk about LONG.

[Melissa M]

when we take long flights we try to fly in the evening into bedtime so dd is awake for part of the flight for about 2 hours) and then asleep for the remainder of the flight. she has woken up upon arrival but then falls back to sleep once in the car.

[annaguat]

I think either way it will be fine but I would not make it longer then 7 days or so. Is your mom able to stay and take care of your son at your house? This might be a better option. If not maybe spend a lot of time at her house before you leave. I have done it both ways and taking a baby is both intensive and also a lot of fun. Anna

[DPline]

We lived in England for a year when my oldest son was ages 2- 3. I flew back and forth several times alone with him and never had any problems (I found he adjusted better than I did) and we took him touring all over the countryside while we were there. Yes, we had to plan our traveling more with a toddler than if it had been just DH and I, but it was very doable.


I do think it depends on the child though. My younger son would be so thrown by the change in time and schedule that he would be a disaster. My daughter and older son are much more 'go with the flow.'

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

[erinelway]

We have flown all over the place with both of our sons. It's certainly not a lovely, relaxing flight with a nice movie when you are traveling with kids, but at the same time it's very doable. Flying at bedtime is a great suggestion. My 4 year old made it to Australia from Los Angeles and back when he was 3 with absolutely no problems at all (overnight flight).

We have also gone on a trip without our 4 year old. My parents came to stay with him. He had a ball, really! But I have to admit, it was VERY hard for us. We had to get the wills updated, guardianship, etc. That was very hard to even think about. And we missed him so much every single moment of every single day. I've gotta admit, I probably wouldn't do that again. The whole time I was thinking the trip would've been a lot more fun if he was with us. The plane ride with the kids is less stressful to me than leaving them behind.

[dac_cincy]

We traveled extensively when I was young and my siblings were young- my mother had 3 children under the age of 6 for multiple trips to and from Europe. Now as a single mother- if I could swing it financial, Bug would go on every trip with me.

Some tips:

Take the evening flight- like others have said. Coming back take the morning flight.
Pack aa specific bag just for the airplane- neat snacks, new small toys. etc.
Ditch the DVD player unless your child absolutely has to have one based on previous trips. Most trans atlantic flights have a screen for various things including kids programming in the back of the seat in front of you (at least all the flights I have been on in the last 2 years)

Since you son is 2, he is lap seat- which is free- if you ask nicely, they might leave the middle seat free so he actually has a seat and you all have room to stretch.
Time change will be rough- but doable- move bedtimes and wake ups on this end to more reflect the time there and then nap like crazy when you get back to the states.

This is wonderful opportunity to travel as a family- traveling wiht children does nto have to a burden and should nto be viewed as such- just remember that you have to go with the flow.

[DianeS]

I have a friend who has done this several times (US to Italy) with her toddlers, and says the traveling is the easiest part.

She says the hardest part is dealing with a scheduled child somewhere other than her home.

Her one toddler had trouble with the "different" breakfast items, the lack of her monkey bedspread, being somewhere new and fun but having to leave because it was naptime (and there was somewhere new and fun every single day, so this was an everyday battle, not a once a month battle), the milk tasted different, etc, etc, etc.

Her other child didn't mind anything. So that came down to each child's personality and how they dealt with changes in general.

For me, I'd also have to think about all the things I'd want to do in France, and figure out whether I could accomplish them with a young child. Museums? Long walks? Shops? Late dinners in street cafes with hubby? Train rides to a different area of the country where I couldn't get back to the room in time for naps? Tour of a winery with all those glass bottles sitting around? Or just a beach and playground?

[b_fettes]

Hi , we live in Ireland and are traveling to Guatemala with our daughter the same age. I don't think it is a problem at all. I think it is much better to have your children with you than even great grandparents. When we traveled from Guatemala to Ireland a few years ago, it was 23 hours flying and travel. The kids were tired but they forgot it a few days later.

I would go and enjoy the visit. i think the gift of travel even to young children is so important.

Mary

[amyfk]

Hi,

I havent travelled with a young one, but have been to Europe and to Paris. I dont know if you are going for a pleasure trip or what but I would be inclined to think that at that age if you are looking to get out and about your 2 yr old will end up keeping you in at the hotel more than you want to be(Naps, watching TV etc.). I could possibly see London, they have a nice zoo, for ex. but I cannot think of a lot for little ones in Paris. I dont know if it's still there but when I was there we went to Disneyland Paris. Even still that may be more for older kids. Good luck in your decision.
Amy K, NJ

[Larue]

I can see it from both sides. I used to live in Germany, and met DH there. We flew to Germany this past Christmas with Sabrina, which was a 10 hour flight. She was 2 at the time. She slept, watched cartoons, etc. She didn't have a problem with jet lag either, even though its a 9 hour time difference. We also fly with her about 4 - 5 times a year to California to visit my family. As an Auditor, I fly about 50K miles a year for work, and spend an average of about 5 days a month on the road. Sabrina is very familar with airports. She and DH usually drop me off and pick me up. And when I'm gone she thinks I'm on the plane the whole time. If she sees a plane while I'm gone, she waves to Mommy. Considering our vagabond lifestyle, its great that she has adapted so well to flying.

When I'm gone, DH is always with her. And during the couple of times a year DH has a business trip, I'm always with her. After being home for over 2 years she has never spent a single night apart from both of us. But to me, this is actually a mistake on our part. In our attachment parenting quest, we may have gone a bit overboard. For example, my parents would love to have Sabrina stay with them for a week, and take her on camping trip this summer. . But now we have to "ease her into it", and have them come to our house and try an overnight away from us first.

Considering all of this, my suggestion would be to go without Thomas this time. Since he has done fine with your parents on overnight stays in the past. After you move, he's going to be going through a lot of changes and you won't want to be away from him overnight again for quite awhile. Also this is a good opportunity for you and DH to "get the lay of the land" so to speak. And you can do it a lot faster without a toddler in tow. Also I know from living in Europe, that you'll probably be doing a lot of traveling, and Thomas will have ample opportunity to earn some frequent flyer miles.

Best wishes with whatever you decide, and happy travels!

[dutchmum]

Before you make your decision, get the passport for everybody. Without it you are not going anywhere.
If he is going within 6 weeks you might not have the passport yet. It took my niece 6 weeks to get her passport. She applied in April.

If you are going, most flights to Europe are night flight. You be arriving the following day. The time difference is 6 hours from the east coast. This will mean that it will take about 6 days to recover from jet leg. And kids do suffer from jet leg as well. Some kids are better about it, like adults.
As for the flight, since it is a night flight try to do as much of routine/schedule. This works for us.

Paris with a toddler is not bad. We done it in April, but be prepared. The metro is not stroller/wheelchair friendly. It was built in 1900 and strollers and wheelchairs were not a priority. On the other hand
kids under 4 are free in musuems and attractions.
I use the stroller for Naptime, so no need of going back to hotel. Also this is France don't be surprised if something is closed between 1200-1500 hours. The French like to take a long lunch.

You know your child best, so do what you think is right.
But if it was me, i would go by myself and spend the few hours that your husband has free from the training with him. Your child is 2 years old, he is not going to remember his trip to Paris.

[mksilvermoon]

lots of great advice here - my bit is 'bring him if you think you will spend the whole trip worrying about being away from him!'

we went from ireland to florida late last year with DD who was almost 2 then - not really a problem there or back - and we are heading to guatemala in late july via usa - again long flights etc - but it will be ok as travelling with a child is just a different experience ( a little bit of planning and a little bit of 'letting go' of the small stuff) DD has a great routine but she had no real problems with time changes/routine changes - it does involve more effort that travelling alone (but then as a parent you know that life with a child involves a bit more effort!)

Paris is just a wonderful city with or without a child - Europe is very child friendly by the way - what i mean is eating out and going places (that would be considered grown up in usa/uk) it is perfectly acceptable to have your child of any age with you. It is so easy just to walk around Paris and take it all in - parks and museums everywhere - eurodisney!!!! and the best croissants and coffee - yes the metro is not overly accessible for buggies, but it is doable

listen to what YOU want to do & based on your child and his needs (because that is the important factor really) you will make a great decision

bonne chance
MK

[Alexa07]

My thoughts are that I would take him. We are doing exactly the same thing on Monday. My husband has to be in the UK and we are not about to be without him for that long over the summer months so we're going. My daughter will turn 2 when we are out there. We have traveled with our son since he was 3 months old and yes, it is not the smooth, relaxing flight that we would prefer but as another poster has said, it is more than doable. We are taking the 9pm flight so the babies will sleep most of it - can you schedule something late? The time adjustment is something to consider but still very doable as you will probably be up with the baby too! As for things you want to see and do when you are there, hopefully you will get to go back seeing that DH is working for a French company so save those really adult things when you may feel more comfortable going with the baby. Yes, milk, snacks, foods are different in Europe but then that is why it is Europe and not the US :O) how amazing for the kids to experience something so different -I think it builds character. Our son noted the difference in tastes for the milk etc, but after pushing it away for a day, he obviously was hungry and ate. How great was that! Now he tries most things and is the best traveler.

What a great opportunity for you to have. I say take the baby - you can deal with anything that may come your way. We, too are going to Paris, and I heard Gwyneth Paltrow say this about her deceased father: "My Dad took me to Paris when I was very young because he wanted me to experience Paris with a man that would always love me and never break my heart". Wow. I want my baby to have that same experience. I experienced Paris with my late Father and also my husband at a later date. Needless to say my wonderful husband has since done some crappy things and hurt me. So glad I saw it with Dad Can you tell I am a hopeless romantic?

So my vote is take the baby. Experience it as a family and choose to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! HAVE FUN!!!!