[Shannavi]

Before I vent, let me say that since I joined this forum, I have truly felt like I have friends here and maybe this is why I feel so comfortable spilling my guts out. Thank you all!
Now for the vent....Does anyone ever feel like they married a complete idiot sometimes? I love my husband VERY much and we have a great relationship but darn it, some days I just could kick him in the shins for being so darn stupid! My husband was recently offered 20% partnership with some very good men, who have 4 very successful restaurants, to open a high-end bar/retail store. Everything these guys have done turns to gold. Therefore my husband jumped at the opportunity and I fully supported him as things at his current job were not going so well after 12+ years (got his benefits cut and dropped down to an hourly wage - thats a "vent" that could take days). Over and over I asked him to make sure that they were going to give him a salary equal or better to what he was making. Every time they had a meeting I told him to ask. One month later he has not discussed his salary. He is in "training" right now and has not had a set schedule so he kind of works with his new partners here and there. What kind of idiot takes a job without discussing a salary!! I think he feels like its rude to ask. He was at his old job for 12+ years straight out of college and never had to go through interviews or salary negotiations so I can sort of understand not knowing how to approach it, HOWEVER, I have told him in the beginning that it is OK to discuss things like salary and vacation time, etc and that they will be expecting him to. On top of all of this, my somewhat new business is going down the toilet and have no idea what our future holds financially. The only thing that is keeping me together today is my little Guatemalan angel.

[HenrysMom401]

Perhaps everything they touch turns to gold because they have all the gold... Your husband needs to have a serious conversation about salary immediately. Does he know these men well? Is anything in writing? did he buy the 20% through a lawyer? I sold a business eight years ago because I was naive and believed that the buyer and I were friends. She was not only NOT my friend, she ended up suing me (the case was completely without merit and was thrown out of court). but it ruined my finances for at least a couple of years.

I don't mean to be an alarmist, but I would get something in writing right away. these guys might be using him, and when they're done "training" him, they might decide he's expendable. He owes it to you to negotiate the terms of the partnership.

good luck!!!!!!!!

[SKL]

Tell him that if he doesn't come home to you with an answer after the next meeting, you're going with him (or calling the partner-boss) to help him force the issue after that. That'll motivate him!

Good luck - this sounds like a very stressful situation.

[MamaS]

HenrysMom is right. Three years ago we sold a thriving retail business to "friends" who had worked the business with us. They were to make payments from the profits. Six months ago they declared bankruptcy and gave us the business back. Well, minus the cash, the stock, the computers, the fax machine, the delivery van -- we got the building back.
To protect your family your husband must have something in writing - and make sure YOUR lawyer and accountant look over anything before you sign.

[JustBarbara]

It's one thing to believe in the kindness of 'friends' but when a business fails the most heard refrain is "it's not personal, it's business". I had a BF who had an opportunity to leave a commission only sales job for one that gave him health insurance, a monthly stipend and then commission on sales. He didn't want to change job because he thought the commission only guy was his friend. Where is he now? Living at his mother's house! Seriously, if it just impacts you then fine, do whatever your heart desires but once you have responsibility for someone else ie a spouse (not that any one is responsible for one's spouse) and a child well, the whole risk picture changes. Your DH needs to get something in writing, now. Negotiation is always easier before you start a new job/ rent a place etc. etc. Good luck - with the economy the way it is he should definitely get something in writing and vetted by a lawyer after all 'it's just business, nothing personal'.

[amyfk]

I dont have great advice as Ive always worked for municipal or county govt. which is different. I wish you guys best of luck. I can empathize that times are hard. I am trying to reenter the workforce after being home for 2 yr but have had trouble landing. I have never been in the arena of having my own business though. Best wishes and Im glad others here have helped.
Amy K, NJ