[amyfk]

HI,

Earlier today I was getting a manicure. A family with a young girl and boy came in and it was school hours. I asked the girl if there was school today. She told me that there was and that she had a test today but didnt study for it so she was kept home. Instead her mom brought her in to get a manicure.
Am I crazy or do some folks just have strange values? I know it's not important really on this board but it struck me as setting a bad example as well as bad attitudes towards school for the years to follow(and Im not a teacher either just a mom in the community).
Amy K, NJ
PS I may have heard the mom say that they had a party to go to the night before, but to me then you study two days before the test instead of ducking school.

[lmvsmom]

It's not just you. I don't agree with it either. But there is a lot going on in our culture today that I don't agree with.

[amyfk]

I hear what you are saying Tina. I felt like saying something to the mother that I disagree, but I bit my tongue. I doubt it's my business.
Amy K, NJ

[DPline]

Originally Posted by amyfk

I felt like saying something to the mother that I disagree, but I bit my tongue. I doubt it's my business.
Amy K, NJ

I wouldn't have said anything, but there would sure been a lot of things going through my head. And none of them complementary!

The only thing my kids have ever, ever missed school for is doctor appointments and that was only when there was absolutely no other alternative. Oh, and a half day twice for Take Your Child to Work Day.

Skipping school because you didn't study?! Get your butt to school and let it be a lesson to you to study next time!

[amyfk]

I definitely agree with you Debbie. In a weird way Id rather my kid go to school, take the exam, flunk it, and then realize that next time it's worth the effort and time to study. Plus eventually if a child misses too many days on exams the teacher will be wise enough to pick up on this anyway. Teachers dont have their heads in the sand.
Amy K, NJ

[kerriv]

That's horrible! It teaches the child all the wrong things about time management and what is important. What's she going to do when she's an adult and has a big project due at work? And sadly, when she does poorly in school, it will be the teacher that gets blamed.

[amyfk]

Yes I think it's pretty bad. Im not perfect(far from it) but I dont think this teaches children good values and attitudes towards school and responsibilites.
Amy K, NJ

[mommytoEli]

well...there are usually 2 sides to every story.....when i was in highschool i was a super good student. never any problems...i also worked and participated in activities and sports. i was a great kid. i remember having a bookreport due the next day, and i just had not finished the book. my mom let me stay home. i finished my book and my assignment and then spent some time having fun...and turned in my work the next day. i didn't need to learn a lesson. i made a mistake, my mom helped me out, i knew without asking that it would not be something to happen all the time...so i was just thankful my mom gave me the gift of time. it didn't teach me to be an irresponsible adult, it taught me that sometimes you should give people a break....not that people should give ME a break per se, but that i should do it for others. maybe she was a really good student and it was a one time thing.

[Dickons]

Thank you mommytoEli...there are always 2 sides and quite often more than one reason why something may be done a specific way.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[bhouston]

Great point MommytoEli....having two sons that are in college (my oldest graduates on the 16th) who were both great kids...and now great young men....who did not miss school days for just any reason...there were times that they just needed a *lily pad* Only that mom in the mall knows her child and what her story is...
Beth in Idaho

[shelbydog]

Agree....can't judge unless you know the full story. She may be an excellent student, working for a grade or college entry or something (not sure how old she was). My son is about due for just a day off from school. He works really hard, and I know my son and a day off would do him more good than not....he's a great student, doing well in school and almost never sick. Only had 1 sick day all year. If he had a day off you bet I'd take him out for hot chocolate or a special treat.

I also think that unless you have kids the same age as the girl, it's really hard to judge and know. I remember years ago commenting on things I witnessed saying "I would never...." but now that I have a child more that age, you bet I would. I have no idea what parenting a middle or high school student would be like.

There are always 2 sides.

[amyfk]

I hear what you guys are saying and I can respect it but I personally feel that inmy home school comes before sports or anything else(unless it's a death in the family or a medical emergency). I personally think it's better for the kid to put the priorities in place and if not flunking isnt so bad now and then. There is a lesson to be learned from that too. I know not everyone will agree with me but that is ok, not everyone has to. It's a free country.
Amy K, NJ

[DPline]

Yes, there may be more to the story, but based on what you posted, I still agree with you Amy. I was in sports, the school plays, worked party time, and was in the National Honor Society with good grades. But my Mom still would not have allowed me to miss school for any reason, including not being prepared for a test or not having work completed. And I am following that with my kids. There are definetly things I have changed my mind about over the years of parenting, but this is one I feel pretty strongly about. But that is just my opinion.

[HenrysMom401]

As a teacher, I should be surprised and appalled, but you wouldn't believe how regularly this happens. On test day, we can predict that at least 25% of the class will be absent. And these are HONORS level kids. This forces me to make two tests (because, let's be real...the kids who took it will tell the others what's on the test), and those who came to school have to wait an extra week to get their results while I wait for the slackers to make it up.

I love my job -- seriously! But I hate excuses. What does this mother think she's teaching her kids?

[angel_bayou]

I don't agree with that either but I have heard of other parents doing it before as well!