[Foradoption]

What do you all do for birthday parties for kids that are 3 years and up. I'm hoping to start doing parties more kids related, with just a few friends and maybe have it somewhere where they can be entertained. Do you still do larger parties for family?

[adoptnky]

We don't have any family that lives near us, so we've never done a big family birthday party.

Alex actually turns 3 on Saturday. We are having a few family friends and their kids over to our church (where we've had all of Alex's parties) Saturday morning. We are going to have food, cake, ice cream and just let the kids play around. We will have 9 kids ages 3-10 and 11 adults.

The kids have fun just running around and playing, and the adults can sit and visit. I'm sure Alex is going to want his parties in the future at Chuck E Cheese or Pump It Up in the future - but I'm liking the low key parties right now.

Kim

(Whose Derby baby thinks all parties on Saturday are for him - and who am I to tell him any different!)

[becky]

Starting at about 4 I have tried to parties at 'places' where they take care of everything. I have found it well worth the money to let someone handle all of the details and the clean up.

We invite our family, but we don't do just strictly family parties any more...

That lasts until about age 10 or 11, then we go back to low-key invite 1 or 2 friends over...we'll do a movie and sleep over and not a big party any longer. By middle school that's what they want to do anyway!

[blminter]

so... 1.gymboree 2.leapin lizard (jumpzone) type places
3. swim parties 4.picnic parties 5.backyard parties where you just play on the swingsets and a few outdoor kind of toys and hire a face painter (have the kids dress up in costume, too) 5. there's a candy store near us, where a small number of kids come, make candy jewelry and get to see how the candy is made.

[Slatond10]

My Dd and I are definitely on the b-day party circiut and have had as well as been to lots of fun ones.

What we had:
@ 2 -- Kid City -- HUGE PLAY AREA w/ Pizza
@ 3 -- Kangaroo Kids -- same type of place
@ 4 -- Gymnastics Studio --w/ chicken nugget meal

But we have been to parties @

1. Fire Departments ( FUN)
2. State Park ( AWESOME Party)
3. Ranch ( horseback riding) -- VERY FUN!

Personally, I never really had b-day parties "ever" and want DD's to be memorable. We invite her classmates and she usually has 20-30 kids @ each party! I know this is a bit "over-the-top" for some!!

BTW -- some of the parties we attend had "no-present" and did donations of "food" for local shelters. I though this was a neat idea but @ this age the children don't really understand it.

[joepegcamp]

Forgive me for being snarky, but kids' birthday parties are becoming a pain in my head. This is why:

My kid is halfway between 2 years old and 3 years old. He has no concept of birthdays or their importance except that he gets to ingest massive amounts of sugar and that mom and dad are cranky for the next three days because my sugar-high kid is crashing and not sleeping.

He's in preschool! And his school has decided that it's best to implement a policy that says: you invite one kid, you invite them all. That's a lot of kids. Loud kids.

And maybe I'm the exception, but I think my kid is pretty great and the rest pale in comparison. So it will pain me to invite 20 other kids (most of whom I think need better parents) to my home, or worse yet, to some super expensive pizza parlor. And, of course, because these kids are under the age of 4, the parents get invited, too. So now I'm entertaining thousands of people (okay, I'm exaggerating).

And then the parents get involved in this little game and try to one-up the birthday party experience. Seriously, I spoke with the hostess, a very tired woman with bags under her eyes and the patience of an angry bee. I complimented her on the party (and I have to admit, it was wonderful), and she told me that she was up for two nights straight hand-making all the party favors. I felt so sorry for the woman, that I almost went out and it framed the favor in a shadow box so that I could hang it on my wall and show people. That's how bad I felt for her. (My son actually destroyed this beautiful favor about three minutes after returning home. I nearly cried for her.)

So, having said all that, this is what I've decided to do:

My son can invite three or four close friends to his birthday party every year. If the school won't allow a few to be invited, then I'll send cupcakes to school and he'll have a family-only party.

On the big milestone years: 5 years, 10 years, 13 years, 16 years, he can have a blowout with everyone he's ever met. All the money we've saved from keeping all the other years low-key means that he can have a blow-out of gigantic proportions--like chartering a plane to Europe. (I'm exaggerating that point, too.)

Am I the only one who thinks that celebrating the miracle of your child's birth doesn't require gobs of money, gobs of time or a logistical plan that rivals that of the US Army?

Sorry this is long, but I have to suffer through 20 more screaming kids for three hours tomorrow.

I may offer the hostess a stiff drink in a juice cup. I have a feeling she'll need it.

[JustBarbara]

Well, I am of the low-key variety - it's what I grew up with and I was quite happy. DS turned 3 in March so we had a family breakfast (DS and his cousins love pancakes!), I brought in small cupcakes to his daycare and we are having a low-key party in the park (playground) with cake/ice-cream in the next couple of weeks and a no-gift policy because it's past his birthday and he doesn't need anything. Really at 3 sometimes it's more for the parents to one-up each other. But I know plenty of parents who LOVE, LOVE to throw parties for their children - I'm not saying it's wrong it's just not my style - and some are awfully cute. No idea about next year but I'm thinking of having 3 or 4 of his closest friends and their parents over for some outdoor activity - I'm thinking of preparing an obstacle course or a treasure hunt.

Good luck Peggy!! I feel your pain.

[Saya]

We just had A's 3rd birthday party 2 weeks ago. It was the first time we did a "kids" party - we had 10 kids and probably around 15 adults.

We looked at doing it at like Gymboree or some other place like that, but we felt it was just too expensive. So we did it in the park in a location where there are some picnic tables. For entertainment, we brought in a young women who does a kid's yoga class at A's pre-school, and she did some fun movement/dance stuff and some face painting. It was the morning, so we brought some bagels and a fruit salad for brunch, as well as the mandatory cupcakes. It worked out really well, and thankfully the weather was great!

[dianneemily]

We have always done lower-key, family parties. When Katy was 4, she invited 1 girl from her preschool class (her mom and I worked together, so we knew each other). That little girl moved away, so when she turned 5, back to just family. We have kids in our family (my stepddaughter has 4 kids) so basically, we have enough kids to handle without inviting the preschool class.

When Katy starts school this year, I might change my mind about how I do it, but I doubt I will do a "whole class" party. If she is friends with a few kids, then I will individually (not through school) invite them.

Elsa got an invitation through preschool for a child who is turning 3 - I just don't think that is really necessary. Elsa turns 3 in a couple weeks and when I asked her where she wanted to do her party - home or a park - she said "at my home, with cupcakes and balloons". That is all it will take to make her happy and I'm not a good organizer/entertainer so b-day parties generally stress me out.

That all being said... if and when I decide to do more kid parties, i will definitely look into locations to have them - gymnastic places, pizza places, bowling alley, etc. because I do not really like planning a party for bunches of kids or cleaning up after them!

[Gabri]

In my opinion you need to let your child lead... I've heard the rule of thumb that you should invite as many guests as your child is old. I wish we had done that with our first! My boys are completely different, so at the risk of not keeping everything equal for them, we're handling the party thing differently with each of them.

With our first child, I was so excited to be a mom and finally get to throw parties, and I did, but my son didn't ask for, want or enjoy them. He's shy... or more positively, reserved, and didn't like being the center of attention, cried while we sang happy birthday, and hid when it was time to open presents... (read: guilt, guilt, guilt)

We learned our lesson, started doing donations instead of gifts, inviting fewer kids, not inviting family to the kid parties, stopped singing happy birthday, kept the party duration short, etc. At his recent 6th birthday we had a few kids, collected food for a food pantry instead of doing gifts, ate cake without singing happy birthday, and he had a great time.

Our second child, however, will be 3 in July and is already talking about his Elmo party. He LOVES getting presents, thrives being the center of attention... we're still going to try and keep it small because he'll just be 3, but there will be singing and presents and cake and balloons... and, I assume unless he undergoes a major personality change, his 5th party will be a huge ordeal.

All that to say, I'd try and figure out what you think your child can handle and will enjoy and do that...

[TerriBB]

Our son had a small daycare class of about 10-12 kids. On his 4th & 5th birthdays, we invited the families for a swim party that started at 10a...BIG pot of coffee for the parents and pizza arrived at noon. His birthday is in September, so we had it a few weeks earlier.

The 6th party was at a Jumping Place with pizza and the kindergarten class - which is still only 17 kids. I still spent about $800 with favors (tshirts from Old Navy) food, jumping...etc.

Fastforward...Flora will be 4 in November. Can't have a swim party, it's winter. There are 26 in her preschool class. Our son keeps worrying about what we'll do for her first "friend party" birthday.

She's been to 2 Gymboree parties and wasn't that thrilled with them. They may be a bit young for her, most of her classmates will have been 4 for a while. We do have a wonderful zoo, so we may look into that...all of the outdoor venues near us will be closed for the winter and they'll be a bit young to bowl, lol!

[0328Lisa]

I am a big fan of the small family birthday party. DH & I each think we have a small family (we each only have 2 brothers) and are blessed to have everyone living within a 30 mile radius. Once we get everyone together, along with our closet friends who also adore DS, we have over 30 people to entertain!!! This is craziness!!! Even if we cut out our closest friends, our combined family is still 23. Oh, and here's the kicker our nieces are college & high school age, so you'd think they'd be over family gatherings, oh, but no, they want to bring their boyfriends, bringing the grand total to 34!!!!! Well, it's a good thing DH & I love to hear people laughing at our house. I guess we do OK entertaining wise, because everyone keeps coming back for more, but can you imagine if we added friends to the mix? While DS is still too young for a friends party, when the time comes, we'll definately have seperate celebrations.

[DPline]

Originally Posted by joepegcamp

Forgive me for being snarky, but kids' birthday parties are becoming a pain in my head. This is why:

My kid is halfway between 2 years old and 3 years old. He has no concept of birthdays or their importance except that he gets to ingest massive amounts of sugar and that mom and dad are cranky for the next three days because my sugar-high kid is crashing and not sleeping.

He's in preschool! And his school has decided that it's best to implement a policy that says: you invite one kid, you invite them all. That's a lot of kids. Loud kids.

And maybe I'm the exception, but I think my kid is pretty great and the rest pale in comparison. So it will pain me to invite 20 other kids (most of whom I think need better parents) to my home, or worse yet, to some super expensive pizza parlor. And, of course, because these kids are under the age of 4, the parents get invited, too. So now I'm entertaining thousands of people (okay, I'm exaggerating).

And then the parents get involved in this little game and try to one-up the birthday party experience. Seriously, I spoke with the hostess, a very tired woman with bags under her eyes and the patience of an angry bee. I complimented her on the party (and I have to admit, it was wonderful), and she told me that she was up for two nights straight hand-making all the party favors. I felt so sorry for the woman, that I almost went out and it framed the favor in a shadow box so that I could hang it on my wall and show people. That's how bad I felt for her. (My son actually destroyed this beautiful favor about three minutes after returning home. I nearly cried for her.)

So, having said all that, this is what I've decided to do:

My son can invite three or four close friends to his birthday party every year. If the school won't allow a few to be invited, then I'll send cupcakes to school and he'll have a family-only party.

On the big milestone years: 5 years, 10 years, 13 years, 16 years, he can have a blowout with everyone he's ever met. All the money we've saved from keeping all the other years low-key means that he can have a blow-out of gigantic proportions--like chartering a plane to Europe. (I'm exaggerating that point, too.)

Am I the only one who thinks that celebrating the miracle of your child's birth doesn't require gobs of money, gobs of time or a logistical plan that rivals that of the US Army?

Sorry this is long, but I have to suffer through 20 more screaming kids for three hours tomorrow.

I may offer the hostess a stiff drink in a juice cup. I have a feeling she'll need it.

LOL! No offense to anyone else, but amen! My kids (ages 5, 5 and 10) are deep into that party circut. I had to buy 7 different gift a couple weeks ago!

I am evidently cheap and a bad mother because I am not even doing the big ones on the 'milestone' years.

My oldest had family parties at age 1 and 2 (first child and first grandchild) and cake with Mom and Dad and Grandpa and Grandma at ages 3, 4, and 5 until age 6 when he had his first 'friend' party. At home, in our yard, with a pinata and games. At 8 we did glow golf and at age 9 we did another home party with a scavenger hunt and water balloon fight.

DH has a huge family and there are now 11 grand children so we do family birthday parties quarterly to cover everyone's (adults and kids) birthday that falls in that quarter. My younger two have had those parties and cake with Mom, Dad, and siblings on their actual birthday.

We went to a party about a month ago for some Guat friends and it was a wonderful group of about 10 kids (including siblings) and their moms at a kids hands on museum and that I loved. But these crazy big extravaganzas. Ahhhhh!


Debbie (who will be attending a 6 year old b-day party on Sunday with her younger two and 50 some other people!)

[kandesmurphy]

I agree with joepegcamp . My son is 3 and was invited to several classmates parties last month. The thing that got to me was that at this age, none of the kids really interacted with each other - they all just wanted to hang out and play with their parents. So at the aquarium party, every walked around with their own parents and then all met for cake and ice cream. Same with the gym party and the Children's Museum. Maybe by 5 they would be ready to play together but what's the point if they aren't going to enjoy being with each other.
I also feel like if you do a huge party at 3, the expectations are just going to get higher each year. So afr we've done family/ close friends parties and will keep it that way for a while.
And I also work at a preschool and for schools that have the all or none invite rule - as long as you can find a way to contact the parents not through folders or cubbies at school, the school usually doesn't care. And the rule makes sense so that no one is left out, but is also ridiculous because if parents do want to do it outside of school, the kids still find out that someone had a party and who was invited. However, I think it's a huge deal (andn a financial burden)to have to invite a class of 15 or 20 kids. One of the parties my son went to, the birthdya boy and a guest had never met each other because they went different days. Seems kind of ridiculous to have to invite someone you've never met!

Kathy

[Foradoption]

I really agree with all of your points. When we brought our daughter home from China, she turned 1 the following day we got off the plane, so we waited until she was 2 and had a huge party, to make up for not having much of one when she turned 1. It was way too much for her at that age. With 3 kids, basically having summer birthdays, I get really burnt out with the expense and planning. I'm hoping, maybe, to do something more along the lines of inviting a few friends and going for pizza, or something to that effect. I get stressed planning these things and trying to figure out games, parties favors, etc...