[hbrown22]

Ok, DS will be 2 in July and he has been home for 6 months. He eats an enormous amount of food. For example, for lunch today he ate an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a banana, and a handful of pretzels. I get him down from his highchair and he starts throwing a massive fit because he wants to eat more. I talked to our pediatrician who said just give him a normal amount of food and don't overfeed him. So that's what I've been doing. I mean, the kid eats more than I do. His life revolves around food and he gets so excited when it's meatime or snacktime and he gets really mad when he's done eating. He won't eat just anything though. He is really picky about meat and vegetables but I give it to him anyway. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to ask here. I guess I don't know how to handle his anger issues when he is done eating and wants more. Or he gets mad when we're having something for dinner that he only picks at so he's still hungry. I don't give in though, he eats what the rest of the family eats. I have a feeling in his foster home he was given whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it. Still, it's been 6 months since he's been home. Also, he'll shove lots of food in sometimes and when he does that we tell him one bite at a time or slow down and he screams about that. When he does that, mealtime is over for him. I just don't know what to do!!!

[DDAmasa]

My son is an enormous eater too, as were both of my nephews (whom I raised) when they were toddlers. None of them were ever overweight though. I spoke to pediatricians about it and as long as they were eating healthy foods and their weight was normal, they didn't consider it unusual for young boys, who in addition to growing, are usually blurs of motion from dawn to dusk. They burn a lot of calories and it makes them hungry throughout the day. My son never stops moving it seems (even when he's sitting, his legs or arms are moving around doing something, he's never still). I still worry my son is picking up bad eating habits from eating so much, but both of my nephews's eating slowed down as they got out of the toddler years so I'm hoping that's the case with my son as well.

I don't agree with forcing a child that age to eat whatever the family eats and to eat properly or go hungry though. They're too young to understand or for it to matter. A hungry toddler just has even more behavioral issues and stuffs food into their faces even faster when they get it.

[TXTennis]

I've seen a few threads like this on the Russia board. Maybe take a look over there. Our food issue is DD is a picky eater and a very slow eater unless I feed her...

[SKL]

My younger daughter used to be a huge eater, but her appetite decreased with age. She can still do justice to a hearty meal, but is satisfied with what I'd consider reasonable.

When my daughter was always asking for more, I planned the meal to include one item that was very low-cal and took time to eat, that she could eat to her heart's content. Usually raw veggies. She was given a reasonable amount of everything else. I also switched her to appx. 0%-1% milk around that age, and let her drink that to her heart's content. Another thought (that I have not implemented) is to give your little one some water before a meal.

As far as pickiness, I agree with standing your ground on "he eats what we eat." He may eat less at one meal but he'll make it up at the next.

[guatparents2be]

julian has been eating more than i do since he was just over a year old. he can put away 3 eggs with half a cup of spinach, onions and tomatoes, a sausage and some oatmeal in a sitting with ease. we're constantly shocking waitstaff when we go out for breakfast.

he sometimes shovels food in and we model slower eating for him, or ask him to show us smaller bites, but honestly at two and a half i'm not expecting stellar manners.

that said, he does not eat (ever) refined grains, refined sugar, dairy, or anything processed or artificial. i believe kids can't get too much if they are active and the food is truly healthy (in my belief white pasta, sweetened yogurt, white rice, etc isn't actually healthy.)

if your child is active and eating healthfully and he's eating what is served i wouldn't worry unless it is an issue of his using food inappropriately for comfort, hoarding, etc. in which case, i would consider consulting an adoption/attachment therapist.

just my 2 cents!

ps you know, i did just think of one other thing... i wonder if he may be learning that at times you won't let him continue eating if he wants to (i.e. if you think he's had enough but he wants more) so he is overeating/shoveling food in??

[JillnChris]

When Eva first came home she would stuff her mouth as well. In fact I noticed around the 1 year mark that wasn't happening anymore. No lie, she would stuff an entire banana in her mouth in one bite and then ask for another one. She is still a pretty good eater but I am not worried about it at all. I just try to model for her to stop eating when I am full and I ask her when she is done if her tummy is full so that she gets the idea.

[hbrown22]

I guess I should add that I would not consider my son active. He just sits there most of the time. I try to engage him with playing outside/playing with toys but he just wants to sit and observe things going on around him. He is not actively running around and playing. I am not starving him by any means. If I let him eat as much as he wants he'd probably eat a whole loaf of bread....I'm not exaggerating. He gets an adult portion of food at every meal and he still wants more. I don't think food is necessarily a comfort thing for him because he will refuse to eat some things or he'll just pick at it. I agree with SKL, I'm not going to be a short order cook and he will eat what the family eats. If he doesn't like it, he definately makes up for it at the next meal. Children will not starve themselves. Also, I want to say I don't expect him to have great manners or anything but he has choked, seriously, a few times from putting too much in his mouth at once. I'm just not sure what to do when he gets mad, just ignore it I suppose is the only way.

[CaddoRose]

I'm jumping in here from the foster board, but my 21 month old , that we are adopting, loves to eat. She will eat 6 oz. yogurt, a banana and a handful of shredded wheat cereal with 6 oz of milk for breakfast and still want more, but she doesn't need it. She gets so mad when it's time to clean up after eating.

She loves green beans, well anything green, and sweet potatoes. If allowed, she would eat an entire can of green beans and an entire can of yams! She isn't fat, and hits the 55% on the charts.

The best thing I have found is to put her food in a big plate to keep track of it all and then give her pieces on a smaller plate a few at a time so she can't cram it all in he mouth at once. If she takes longer to eat, then her stomach has time to tell her brain that she is full, and then she is less likely to fuss when food time is over. I would rather her sit at the table for an hour eating slowly, than let her eat fast and then have a meltdown when the food is over.

[becky]

I am wondering how often you are serving him the 'family dinner' and he doesn't like it and just picks at it? If that is fairly often, it might explain why he stuffs the food in when it's something he likes. He may be hungry.

I have 5 kids and I completely agree with the 'you eat what we all eat' idea...but not with a child under the age of 2! I don't know many 2 year olds who would like to eat a normal family dinner.

When ours were that age we would offer them whatever we made for dinner and also something age appropriate---yogurt, cheese, piece of fruit, etc.

I would strongly recommend talking to your pediatrician and seeing what he/she thinks about this situation.

Good Luck!!

[shelbydog]

The first thing I would do is run tests to make sure there is nothing metabolically wrong (sugar levels, etc). Ask your doc for a simple blood test.

If he is fine, then it sounds behavioral and he is almost 2 so I would start treating it very "matter of factly". And I think you'll have to be strict and very black and white with it, as in, "Lunch is over - all done - do you want to go play with the blocks or go for a walk?" Give him a choice of 2 acceptable things. If it's more of an oral fixation, try making him healthy frozen pops with crushed fruit and water/ice. Again, "Lunch is done - do you want a glass of milk or a fruit pop?" I found that "choices of 2 acceptable things" really helped at this age. It gives them some sense of control.

I also don't agree with "he should eat the family meal" at his age. He isn't even 2. I would certainly try, but at that age my kids ate other foods - lots of fruits, vegetables - meats that they liked, pasta. My nephew had very specific tastes (basically wanted to eat bagels and fruit mostly!) and I remember his ped. telling my SIL not to ever make food a battle. That it will change and improve and for now, to feed him what he wants. She did this until he was at least 3. He is 4 now and perfectly fine

My daughter is a bit obsessed with food. She is now 3 and we had to be really strict. We are down to ignoring her...I simply say, "All done with snacks or meal" and walk away. She will whine and cry about food and we tell her it is simply not acceptable (like any unacceptable behavior). If she continues to cry she goes into timeout. Simple. It has greatly improved. For her I think it was a control and attention getting issue but she is older.

I also wouldn't rule out sensory issues. If he isn't active and doesn't want to be active, it could be a sensory issue, a.e. his major sensory area right now is his mouth - sounds crazy but it's possible. Remember that he is 2 and YOU control what he does. Sitting there and not doing much wouldn't be a choice here - if you want him to be more active give him 2 choices of active things. You may have to get creative and a motor skill therapist might help. My son had motor delays and he would have been very content to just sit and not do much but I had to change that. He resisted at first but with some creative ideas he became much more active. Good luck!

[lmvsmom]

I second the suggestion to try out the Russian boards for help. I'm wondering if his pediatrician thinks the lack of activity is okay/normal for his age?

[waitinginnj]

It sounds like food issues to me. I didn't deal with them with my daughter, but you are assuming he ate anything he wanted. To me it sounds like he doesn't necessarily trust that food is coming (not because of you but because of his history).

A lot of folks have had success overcoming gorging with a food box. Something that the child could access at will with healthy foods. The kids tend to gorge for a couple of days and then begin the path for normalization.

He may also have issues with textures accounting for the picky side of the coin. Write down what he does and doesn't eat to look for patterns. It may be the beginning of finding a solution.

[hbrown22]

As far as his activity level, I don't just sit there and let him sit there. I do try to get him to play and interact. I can't do that all day, obviously. If I am serving a dinner I know he will not like, a casserole for example w/ carrots, I will always put something on his plate I know he will eat just not in an adult quantity. I am not letting him go hungry, I promise you! I'm sorry if a lot of you don't agree with that but that is something I feel strongly about and his pediatrician agrees. Believe me, we have had long discussions about him. I am doing the best I can and I appreciate a lot of the advice given here.

[blminter]

where does he fall on the growth curve for height and weight? has he eaten like that for the entire 6 months you've been home?

i get the feeling it's all the time. my child eats like crazy for awhile and then will slow down. for her i think she's in a growth spurt during the eating marathons.

sounds frustrating. hang in there. it's so hard to have battles over food.

[angelkisses0102]

One thing I will mention is...that some kids will in fact starve themselves. Kids with attachment issues use food for control and some will get to the point of needing a feeding tube...although most just wage major battles. Kids with oral sensory issues and internal regulation issues will starve themselves as well. Food should not become a battle ground.

I would look into sensory issues and feeding issues sooner rather than later (speaking as a mom who waited much to long to deal with my child's oral sensory issues and feeding issues.) Once food becomes a battle ground...you will lose...one way or another. Trust me on that one...while we have overcome most of DS's sensory issues, swallowing issues, internal regulation issues and general feeding issues...we still deal with the behavioral (learned) issues. These are very difficult to overcome...and that is per our feeding therapist who we see every other week.

One other thing...and this would be my first guess...if your child was ever hungry...it is a feeling he may never forget. Your DS's behavior somes strikingly similiar to the stories we often hear on the Russian boards of kids who were under and malnourished pre-adoption. Is your pediatrician an international adoption doctor or in an IA clinic? If not, I would take the eating/feeding advice with a grain of salt (I didn't and ended up where we are today.) If at all possible, I would talk with someone who is familiar with international adoptees regarding this.

Kids who went hungry need to eat and eat and eat...they need to learn to trust that there will be food there tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. The healthy food box mentioned above works wonders...and it is literally available 24/7. My DD was was starved and when first home (11 months old) drank 80 ounces of formula, several jars of baby food, and finger foods daily. I never limited her food intake and today at almost 8 years old she is a very lean and healthy little girl. To this day I keep healthy snacks available to my kids all the time and it's funny they will choose an apple or yogart over chips and candy every time.

If it bothers you enough to post about it...I would say trust your gut and look deeper...good luck.