[SKL]

Just curious as to how other adoptive parents view this. Not looking for a dictionary definition; but when you see a movie / read about an orphan child (Heidi, etc.), do you relate this to your child? Thoughts?

[JustBarbara]

Well, I define an orphan as having no living bio mother or bio father. DS is not an orphan - at least he was not when I adopted him.

[giovanni7460]

I feel the same as Justbarbara. My sons were not orphans in what is my view of an orphan, at the time.

Patty

[jandc]

My definition would be a child with no parents living. I make no distinction between bio or adoptive.

[cantwait2bmommy]

I feel like "orphan" describes someone who grows up, spends their formative years, without a parental figure of any kind. A child living on the streets (or in an "orphanage" until being sent out into the world as an "adult" or running away) and totally fending for themselves is an orphan to me.

I believe God puts us on this planet to learn lessons and to ultimately grow spiritually and, hopefully, learn how to fully love. In my mind, being an "orphan" would be a life experience to which there is no comparison and I don't feel in anyway that is what my children are or will ever be. I feel I am my daughter's mother, the one and only she will ever have. I believe if I had given birth, I would have given birth to her only she may have looked a little different (and of course had different genes), but she is the soul I was meant to parent.

Just my personal freaky, spiritual $.02
Chris

[Devora]

I've been thinking about this question recently and about the complexities it raises in international adoption. I think most people define "orphan" in the ways the previous posters described -- no living parents.

But that's not the legal definition for immigration purposes in the US. So the fact that our children were legally orphans -- even though most of them were relinquished by a living parent -- muddies the waters.

Also, I think aside from the legal definitions, because most people associate "orphan" and "orphanage" with no living parents or no family, they bring certain assumptions to thinking about/considering/pursuing international adoption. I think it makes international adoption seem more simple than it is and it erases the importance of first/birth families in international adoption.

As for my son -- legally the US said he was an orphan, but in my mind he wasn't and I have a hard time imagining him thinking of himself that way given the fact that we maintain contact with his mother.

[Yelena]

Originally Posted by cantwait2bmommy

I believe if I had given birth, I would have given birth to her only she may have looked a little different (and of course had different genes), but she is the soul I was meant to parent.

Oh, I just love this! This is so exactly the way I feel.

When I think of "orphan," I think of a child who has no parents, biological or otherwise. It's not a word I have ever applied to my daughter, even before she came home, since she does have a biological mother and a foster mother who loved her dearly.

[w8ting4Thomas]

I have searched for those words for 3 years now!!!! THANK YOU!!!
You said it better than I ever could have!

[dac_cincy]

I ahve been actually thinking of this recently. I do not limit it to children though. in the next year or so, my mother will be an orphan. Her father is ill and we do not expect him to live anotehr year.

While certianly detath of parent is never easy, most people do expect that theur parents will die before them- but it does leave the surviving child (including adult children) as an orphan. My heart breaks for what my mother is facing, she has already lost her mother and now she will lose her father.

I think no matter the age at which you have no living parents or no parents who are in your life to support you- you become an orphan.

Love and hugs

[SKL]

Interesting comments. My own answer is a bit gray. I don't consider my kids to be orphans, yet they do have something in common with orphans - they didn't grow up with their biological parents, and there was a gap of time when they did not live in their "forever family."

This comes to my mind as my daughters are beginning to understand favorite children's stories, many of which have an orphan as the hero/heroine. As my girls learn about their life story, I wonder what kind of connections they will make. Will they see themselves as orphans at some level as they grow?

Then again, I remember when I was little, when I was unhappy or restless, wishing myself to be "really someone else's child" with a much more interesting background than plain old working class America. Hmm.

[praying4rlittl1]

I think of an orphan as a child who has lost (through death or abandonment) both of their parents. In my eyes, Jac is an orphan. Emilee is not.

This has been interesting to read. I always like hearing other people's perspectives.

[annaguat]

Originally Posted by dac_cincy

I think no matter the age at which you have no living parents or no parents who are in your life to support you- you become an orphan.

I went through this unexpectantly 3 years ago and I was not prepared for the overwhelming grieve. It did give me a glimps into what my children by adoption might experience in the sense of the loss of a bio parent(s). I guess I see an orphan as some one who does not have a parent or parent figure no matter of what age that person is.

Anna

[kirbystarcat]

"I think of an orphan as a child who has lost (through death or abandonment) both of their parents."

I agree with this. This applies to both my children. We have zero birthfamily information for both.

[amyfk]

Interesting comment by Dac_cincy.
At my grandmother's funeral(my grandfather died before I was born) my uncle, who was in his sixties at the time, called himself "Little Orphan Eddie" right there at the cemetary. I guess it was true technically.
Amy K, NJ

[Quesita]

I think so often of the street kids in Guatemala. One vivid image is a little gang of boys, ages 5-8, with dirty faces, begging for the scraps of food left on restaurant plates. I think of the kids who work in the streets. The boys who shine shoes. The girls who sell trinkets. Some of these kids go home at the end of the day. Some do not. It is sometimes hard to tell which is which. Orphans? I'm not sure.