[rapf777]

Ok my cousin's step daughter is a teacher and thinks she is a know it all (she teaches 2nd graders and does not have any children of her own). Anyway she was down for the holiday weekend visiting. Subject gets on about Giuseppa is still on a bottle (I am having a battle with this with DH...). MS. KNOW IT ALL TEACHER says....that is really bad it is known to cause speech impairment. This is also the same person that told me that Giuseppa is malnutritioned when I got home with her because her belly stuck out (Ran like a mad woman to Doctor to make sure all her blood work and information was right which of course she was WRONG). Now Giuseppa can sing her ABCs, count to 10 in English and Spanish and some Italian, sings happy birthday in English and Spanish and says 6-10 word sentences. NOW if that was the case how come there is not more cases of speech impairment out there. I have known kids on a bottle till they were 6 years old (GIUSEPPA don't you DARE get any ideas) and not one of these children have speech impairment. Any experts out there can enlighten this for me please!!! I am still fuming...She makes me feel like a bad mother when she makes comments like this and that I am endangering my child.

in advance for all your wonderful help.

Rose

[DPline]

Please don't let her get to you! Just ignore her comments! You are a great Mom and Giuseppa will be just fine!

I have a SIL like that too. She is also a teacher and seems to feel that that makes her an expert on all children of any age. (No offense to teachers! I have another SIL and BIL who are teachers and are great! This SIL is just a busybody.) I watched her harrass another SIL for years about that SIL's teenage son. (Who is a great kid and a normal teenager) and have taken grief from her myself for years. She now has a 2.5 year old and a newborn and I am praying that she maybe, just maybe, gets a clue that she doesn't know everything and anything about parenting and children.

(((hugs)))

[rapf777]

Thanks for piping in Debbie, You ALWAYS make me feel better. I appreciate your comment. I always look forward to you answering one of my questions. THANKS AGAIN.

Rose

[carrik1]

First of all....the NERVE of her!!!! I have been teaching kindergarten for 11 years and will be a first time parent when Hudson comes home. I would NEVER give parenting advise to a family member. Now, if someone asked me how to help their child educationally....that is a different story. I can give plenty of ideas in that area. I don't blame you for being upset. I think sometimes people just like to hear themselves talk. I actually had the bottle conversation with our speech therapist at school the other day. Some children just need the extra time on the bottle. No big deal.... there are plenty of children who need speech therapy that were off the bottle soon after their first birthday. Don't let comments get you down. You are a great parent. Nobody should ever judge another person especially if they have not walked in their shoes. Hugs to you!

[DPline]

Originally Posted by carrik1

No big deal.... there are plenty of children who need speech therapy that were off the bottle soon after their first birthday.

I think that makes a great point. Of all the kids I know who have been in speech, not a one of them had speech issues caused by a bottle. Yes, walking around with a bottle hanging out of her mouth all day could cause speech issues, but so could a host of other things. And if the bottle gives her comfort you need to decide what is your bigger concern. My DD had a bottle until age (I still want to give her one some days!) but it was only in bed and I felt the comfort factor was more important that worries about teeth or speech.

Parenting is, in my opinion, a huge juggling act of choices. And praying you made the right one!

[AngelQT]

Hang in there... I am sure everyone has one of those in every family!~

I am lucky... I have 2 ...

BUT, I have a great comeback...

When they make a comment like that, I ALWAYS say...

" I am SO GLAD you have a Degree in Child Pyshology/Child Developement/International Adoption/(whatever the case may be) I just don't know what I would do without you. You realize you just saved me a LIFETIME of expenses sharing your experties in this field!"

Then just walk away... Trust me... They will eventually SHUT THE HECK UP!

And you are a GREAT mom, and don't let anyone tell you any different!

As for the bottle... Angelena will be 3 in a couple of weeks, and she is still on a night time bottle... And yes, sometimes in the morning... But I tell her, her doctor says ONLY water goes in Bottles now... And I stick to it!

I also use to warm up her bottles at night... Nothing like a warm milk to put you to sleep. Anyway... She wants her Water Warm.... SO I do it...

It is a security thing, and I will not completely take the bottle away until she is ready... Heck, I am still on the bottle! HAHAHA... Just isn't milk anymore!

[annaguat]

Ummmm my girls are 3 1/2 and still enjoy one bottle once daily. Just sharing so you know you are not alone. No speech issues here. Anna

[MamaS]

Spiderman had a bottle every night until about three and a half. When he stopped having a bottle, he started talking NONSTOP, 24/7 and has continued to do so.
So she is right, as long as there is a bottle in her mouth, she isn't talking! Why not offer SIL a bottle too?

[WaitingforBrian]

I'm a bad mom too. LOL Hey we could start a club. I wonder would your cousin's step daughter give us a talk on how to be better? ? ? ? Sorry I do find this funny because my DD was a full 3 before stoping and Brian looks like he will be 23. He is stuck to his bottle.
Loads of Hugs to all the bad moms out there. Bernie

[Dickons]

Her comment is based on current opinion.

Other: Bottle Feeding And Ear Infections - A Formula For Disaster?

Kind regards,
Dickons

[cyntil8ing]

The proper response to unsolicited parenting advice is "Thank you for your concern."

And as for her making you feel like a bad parent, remember Eleanor Roosevelt's "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If you're confident in your knowledge and abilities, remarks like this won't shake you. They'll probably still annoy you though.

[hbrown22]

Just ignore it! You do what you feel is best for you child. You are her mother, not her! And I LOVE Cindy's Eleanor Roosevelt quote. I've never heard it before.

[crick]

I was reminded yesterday of a comment we see a lot in the Special Needs forum.

"Your concern is appreciated but your approval is not necessary."

Say it with a smile so it's nice and yet gets the point across very well.

[rapf777]

OMGOSH you guys are hysterical....thanks so much for making me feel better. I know I am a good mommy but man people do know how to get under your skin with their remarks. Thanks again for cheering me up.

Love to all,
Rose

[SKL]

Upon hearing that, I think I'd look at my child and say, "[DD], your auntie says you need to stop reciting [insert recent impressive speech milestone here] until you get rid of your bottle." Then I'd laugh lightly and move to a different topic.

If it's someone close, I've been known to say "I'm sure you'll show me how to do it right once you have children of your own."

If they insisted, I'd say "please email me a link to that study, I'll look at it when I get a chance."

If I got really ticked, I'd say "my daughter has several positive qualities, I'm not sure why you want to focus on the one thing you disapprove of."