[sfalone]

HI All,

Dulce will be home eight months. When she first came home we had a lot of sleep issues and the separation anxiety. We co-sleep and she has improved with social settings and with other people in the family that she sees often, like both mom-moms, and aunts. When we have to be in social settings she does ok, never great but ok. She's also in daycare full time every day and has never had issues (minus those first few weeks).

Here's the problem: Last Friday I get a call from the director that Dulce's unconsolable and her favorite teacher can't put her down. I think she's not feeling well. DH goes to get her and she's home and is happy as a lark. Over the weekend she got super, super clingy with me. Monday dh dropped her off at daycare and she had a HUGE meltdown. He brought her home. Again very super clingy with me. Last night mom-mom comes by and she won't kiss her, look at her just clinging to me. Mom-Mom is one of her favorites. This morning another meltdown at daycare. She also woke this morning smacking me in the face. Nothing has changed. Food, same, routine same, nothing new at daycare. Same 2 teachers, no new kids in her room.

Like I said she has never been 100% with people and has always been clingy with me. Is is regression? I've been thinking of wearing her. I just feel as if I'm missing something. I thought we were doing good with her attachment but I'm thinking that she has an anxious attachment to me. She has to always be holding me/touching me in social settings and at night when we sleep, and where she adores dh, when we are out she shuts him down and looks for me always. Sorry for the rambling.

Stacy

[SKL]

Is she getting her 2-year molars? That's a rough patch and clinginess often accompanies it.

Good luck!

[sfalone]

She's not showing signs of teething. But maybe she is??? She will be two in June.

[stacytoadopt]

When my daughter goes through a growing phase - her personality changes. Not to the extent of what you have mentioned here, but temper tantrums (never seen them otherwise), crying, etc...

seems to last a full month - a very long full month. just an idea.

[w8ting4Thomas]

Thomas will be 2 in less than a week, but about 2-3 months ago my otherwise happy child turned on me. It lasted on and off for 3 weeks. I am convinced that is when his molars were breaking in. I couldn't FEEL them at the time, but they are peeking through now.
Maybe it wasn't related, but I was beginning to go crazy!!!! HANG IN THERE!!!!!
I am sure it could be regression and I am no expert...just telling you what happened with us at about the same age!

[robandjulie]

It could be teeth or an earache or any number of short-term medical issues. Or it could be attachment. Don't you love the murky gray of parenthood!?

Here's my take: if it's attachment you'd be best to take steps to reassure her (holding/carrying, lots of stuff to promote bonding). If it's not attachment, there's no harm in giving her lots of extra cuddles and love while she works through whatever is throwing her off right now. In the "taming the tiger while it's a kitten" program the basic idea is that extra attachment therapy can only help; missing opportunities can be very harmful.

At almost 2 she could be going through a somewhat typical but late "separation anxiety" stage which may be more severe due to her history. If it were DS I'd probably treat it as such with all the consistency and such that's recommended for dealing with regular separation anxiety but balanced with loads of bonding when you are home with her and such. Just my 2 cents.

[Angel99]

I am sorry that you are going this frustrating time- My DD has been home one and a half years and we still have our little regressions that occur occasionally. Sometimes changes in their growth or medical conditions (like others have posted) can add to their mental state -I know that I have days where I don't want to be at work and would much rather stay home and play with my kids. Kids handle stress in different ways- She may be having some "off" days and you are her comfort. She also might be experiencing some attachment issues - she has only been home for 8 months. I am no expert by any means- but if you need to vent or just "talk" about it this is the place . You can always find someone who can lend a shoulder to cry on or who understands! I hope this helps - sending you some hugs. If this doesn't help I have always found chocolate to be a good quick fix (LOL)

[cantwait2bmommy]

Has she been sick recently? DD will also be 2 in June and this started with her after she got sick her first week in daycare. She became very clingy and no one will do but me. It has been three full months and it is finally getting better, but I believe the sickness (which has been on and off for the last three months) and her 2 yr molars are contributing to the personality change.

I'm no expert, but if I were you I would keep an eye on it over the next couple of months. If it seems to be getting worse perhaps an eval would be in order.

Good luck!
Chris

[hml1976]

There is a second separation anxiety period around 18-20mths old. Its quite normal and usually is around the time they get their 2yr old molars.

[guatmama06]

this thread made my day...have been having some of these same issues. I do know hw is getting his last two top molars. I didnt know they would have such an impact. He only wants me or papa...not my mom of dh.?! It has been hard. I feel for all of you.
I want some chocolate too.
kim

[guatparents2be]

Originally Posted by robandjulie

Here's my take: if it's attachment you'd be best to take steps to reassure her (holding/carrying, lots of stuff to promote bonding). If it's not attachment, there's no harm in giving her lots of extra cuddles and love while she works through whatever is throwing her off right now. In the "taming the tiger while it's a kitten" program the basic idea is that extra attachment therapy can only help; missing opportunities can be very harmful.

At almost 2 she could be going through a somewhat typical but late "separation anxiety" stage which may be more severe due to her history. If it were DS I'd probably treat it as such with all the consistency and such that's recommended for dealing with regular separation anxiety but balanced with loads of bonding when you are home with her and such. Just my 2 cents.

I'm with this post 100%. I always err on the side of looking at things from an attachment perspective, even if it is 'normal' behavior because our children don't have a 'normal' history.

Good luck and hugs your way!

[Hymarianne]

Stacy

Our Olivia went through a very similar situation in day care and with my mom. She was right around the 2 year old mark and it seemed like something changed. I would drop her off to day care and usually she would kiss me run off and our day was started. Something changed to the point that I thought something happened with one of the teachers and her behaviot was so odd that the teachers actually approached me about something going on at home. I went out and bought books about mommys and daddys leaving but always coming back. One book in particular is called "Oh, my baby little one". Throughout the whole story it talks about the baby ducks day and the mommy's day, and at the end it says mommy always comes back. We would read and read that story and now Olivia will be four in June and if I'm out and her daddy puts her to sleep I always go in and tell her "Mommy always comes back". The book worked and her separation fears stopped as quickly as they started. It's odd behavior when it comes out of the blue but it's also very normal. Don't know if the book would help but it worked like a charm for us. Good Luck.

Marianne