[MomtoJABE]

We are trying to handle everything with Robbie's transition very gently and slowly. I was hoping to get any feed back from you guys. I just want to make sure we are on the right path.

Robbie went through a great deal of grieving between 1-2 months and 4-5 months after coming home. We all worked very hard to handle things as gently as possible and help him in anyway possible while still maintaining a normal schedule and help him to adapt.

After those deep grieving periods he went through a time of not wanting to speak Spanish at all and not wanting to talk about Guatemala or his Biofamily.

Now we are at a point of not wanting to speak English and asking questions like "Can my momma in Guatemala come here?", "When can I go back to Guatemala?", and saying things like "I don't love you". We also are having constant tattling on the other kids as well as being really mean to the kids but doing this in a quiet, secretive way when he thinks that me or DH is not looking or listening. We constantly tell him that we love him and nothing will change that and answer all of his questions as best as we can and with as much info. that we feel he can handle.

We have now been thrown for a loop because his paperwork came from INS and the birth date we have always had may not be his real birthday. Long story but the original paperwork from his birthmom states a completely different day and year. It seems that whoever went to register his birth to get a BC for the adoption didn't have a date and came up with one. We are in the process of contacting his birthfamily to make sure.

This new date makes much more sense with who and where he is as well as the stories and memories he has from Guatemala. We are working on this from the legal end but it is also another change and uncertainty for him to deal with.

We know he still has so much adjusting and grieving to do. We are trying to be consistent as well as completely compassionate and understanding to give him the time he needs.

I am just wondering if we need to look for any counseling or groups that will help him understand all he is going through.

Please tell me if you have any suggestions at all or if you have been through anything like this with your child. All the help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

[karen nickols]

I just want to say it is nice to hear from you. You and your family are frequently in my thoughts. I have no advice but wish you the best. Blessings Karen