[BRIANANDMARCIE]

This seems to be a common topic among this group...HAHA! I have been reading others posts but none have the problem I'm having. Our son will be 3 in May. He is still in diapers. We've tried everything I can think of, praise, rewards, ignoring, not saying anything when he pees or poops in his diaper...nothing works. I've set the timer for 30 minutes and take him but he screams and kicks and cries. It's just because he doesn't want to stop playing, but I don't want to force the issue either. He is pretty stubborn...in fact very. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I know there's a book out there that claims that the child can be potty trained in x number of days. Anyone tried it? I'm desparate. He kicks and screams!!!!!! My 19 month old daughter LOVES to sit on the potty, however never does anything. I thought the "peer pressure" from that would help, but NOPE! He is the oldest and stays at home...no day care. I can't find any preschool that would take him unless you're 3 and fully potty trained. HELP!! Thanks

[avoel]

Probably not what you are wanting to hear but it sounds like he just isn't ready. Forcing it will only frustrate you and probably cause more resistance in him.

I do know what it is like to have that preschool deadline looming --I forfeited a nonrefundable deposit myself when my oldest DD was not toilet trained when school started just before her 3rd birthday. I figured out it wasn't going to happen, backed off and at age 3 years, 4 months and 3 days--yes, I remember it to the day, LOL--she woke up, asked for underwear and that was that!

[BRIANANDMARCIE]

I am actually OKAY with it not being time. I just can't imagine that he will ever tell me, Mommy, I have to go pee pee. I just can't imagine.....

Thanks! I actually am liking that you say he's just not ready becuase that's what I've been thinking and then you get all the time...he's still in diapers??? and all that other mess.

[aartcreations]

To make you feel better, my son is not potty trained either and will be three in May also. He will sit on the potty with his clothes on but not off. He is interested in reading potty books, watching potty videos, but doesn't want to try it. So I'm not pushing it yet. This summer will be a different story though. I hear it's easier to potty train outside. So we will see So you are not alone! Good luck!

[avoel]

LOL! I totally understand! I thought my oldest DD would be perfectly happy in diapers until kindergarten (if not college!). I kept the idea in her head, even when we weren't working on it by reading books, looking at underwear at Target and talking about when she would go on the potty all the time and wear them etc, but I totally quit putting her on the potty unless she asked and just waited...and she did it when it was her idea, I guess!

[DPline]

Both my boys were a full 3.5 when they finally potty trained. And even then it was a bit of a battle. So you are most definetly not alone!

[dac_cincy]

I babysat for a 4 year old who was not potty trained. he was not ready (sounds like your son) and his momma was not ready (does not sound like you).

He potty trainned in 2 weeks when preschool told mom and him that he would not be allowed to start school if he was still in diapers.

I think by that point, he was actually ready and the reward was something he really wanted too.

Mom was very upset that she had to potty train him before she was ready.

I, as the babysitter, was very happy to have him potty trained.

It will come when he is ready.

Love to you,

[krafmatic]

I speak from experience when I say "Do not make it a battle of wills". DD was 3 before she peed in the potty and was 4 to the day before she pooped in the potty (she had perfect control just didn't want to do it). At first I tried to force the issue and that just made it worse...she withheld it and got impacted. Not fun.

DS#1 was just a few month over 3 when he was fully potty trained. I started him in preschool anyways (no, I was not totally honest). I just had him go potty right before school and immediately after. He still pooped in a pull up but never did it at school because he knew he would have to go home if he did.

Don't stress. It will happen.

[JustBarbara]

DS just turned 3 on Friday and is still not potty trained. Fortunately, he is at a daycare that has been taking him and his classmates to the potty very frequently. At home - he insists on sitting on the potty when it is time to change the diaper. He likes to throw the poop into the toilet, hand me the diaper, and then sit on the potty and wait for a few minutes. Sometimes he'll take a piece of TP and blow his nose and put it in the toilet. We have a Diego seat on the regular toilet. Then he likes to flush and the wash hands. But sometimes he'll surprise me and ask to go to the potty and actually go - big smile on his face. I'm ready when he's ready.

[sak9645]

Mixed age preschool is key to toilet training, for many kids. Once they see older kids (not siblings) on the toilet, they often give up diapers/pullups within days, as my daughter did. Keep looking for a preschool that allows kids at all stages of the toileting process, and that fosters independence and self-reliance, as these qualities also contribute to potty training.

NEVER let potty training turn into potty wars. If you get a potty war started at your house, the adults will NEVER win. If your child is resistant to potty training, forget the whole subject. Show your child where the diapers/pullups live, and where the underwear lives, and tell him to choose what he wants for daytime and for nighttime. If there's an accident, clean it up and don't talk about it.

Once your child sees that insisting on a diaper or refusing to use the toilet does not "get your goat", the chances are that he will be more willing to use the toilet. Kids the age of your son love confrontations with parents; it's part of their increasing need for independence and a sense of power. Once you de-escalate the potty war, by simply not participating in it, all the fun is gone. The potty becomes just a normal part of the household routine.

Sharon

[BRIANANDMARCIE]

Thanks guys! He can do it...He has peed on the potty about 15 times since he was 18 months and now he's almost 3. He's pooped in the potty once or twice. So I know he CAN do it, he's just not ready maybe?? Thanks for the support and advice. Very much appreciated.

[Travelkid]

I am right there with you. Jamie will be three in April and has no interest. Likes talk about it, sit on the potty, but not once has he gone.

He is very stubborn so I am trying to wait it out.....but getting frusterated