[robandjulie]

Short version: For those that co-sleep but don't want to go to bed at 7PM, what do you do? Jorge's been asking to sleep in our room lately which I have no real problem with except his bedtime (7) is so NOT our bedtime (1). I need those 6 hours of work and DH and I spend all that time chatting and such so it's important to our sanity as a couple, but I can't leave him in our room unattended (and he won't sleep there either if I'm not there) and he won't sleep in his room lately.

Thanks!
Julie

[jenneb]

This is probably really a bad thing to do, but it works for us. We put our Son to sleep on the couch. And then when we go to bed, we carry him in there. He's really good about falling asleep, we put the ottoman (sp) in front of the couch with a pillow so it's blocking the view of the tv.
Good luck. Jenne

[carolynpep73]

I'm going through the same thing right now with my 3.5 year old. She sleeps in a toddler bed in my room but won't stay in their by herself. Her bedtime is 8ish...most of the time I only have to stay a few minutes but there are many times where I've fallen asleep and just forced myself to get back up and do some work or have some downtime (that's not sleep oriented). We've just moved to a new house because she used to be OK with being on her own in my room.

Is there any way you can stay in there and just read with a book light or something like that until he falls asleep? Does he need you to help him fall asleep (back rubs, etc) or does he just want you physically in there?

Good luck! There's no real right answer, it's just what works best for your family. Maybe after he gets used to staying in there he'll be more comfortable going to sleep without you in the room.

I guess the upside is that you're getting a lot of extra rest

[robandjulie]

Is there any way you can stay in there and just read with a book light or something like that until he falls asleep? Does he need you to help him fall asleep (back rubs, etc) or does he just want you physically in there?

As is, we sit outside his room within his view while he falls asleep. We usually are on our laptops b/c the hall is too dark to read but at naptime I'll knit or read a book or something. In our room we could do something similar but the way the crib is set up has his mattress only a few inches below the levle of the bed mattress and the side is dropped so from his bed to ours there's about a 6" rail. If he wakes up and I'm not there he'll climb out and onto our bed and then be "loose". If I lower the mattress a lot or move the crib that would be more secure but the whole point of that was to have him as close as possible--within touch--while still giving us seperate spaces since he's such a violent sleeper. I guess I could heavily child-proof our bedroom and put a baby gate on the door or set up a monitor in case he wakes up. Thanks for the ideas.

[GuatMommy2Be]

Julie,

After our routine, I lay down with her and rub her hair until she falls asleep. I wait a few minutes then verrrrrrry carefully sneak out of the room.

Hope this helps

[dance_muffin]

We read two stories in her bed. Then kisses and hugs and then I rub her back until she falls asleep. I then have to do the very quiet sneaky exit. This has been the best alternative for Mollie other than sleeping in our bed. That's not an option because dh and I wake up completely unrested when she in with us.

[guatparents2be]

Originally Posted by robandjulie

Short version: For those that co-sleep but don't want to go to bed at 7PM, what do you do? Jorge's been asking to sleep in our room lately which I have no real problem with except his bedtime (7) is so NOT our bedtime (1). I need those 6 hours of work and DH and I spend all that time chatting and such so it's important to our sanity as a couple, but I can't leave him in our room unattended (and he won't sleep there either if I'm not there) and he won't sleep in his room lately.

Thanks!
Julie

Julie to me it seems that you have 2 reasonable choices at this point.

1. To childproof 'your' room and make it a family room. Or
2. You could put a family bed in your son's room and sleep in there with him.

We put our son down in his own room on a Q sized futon between 7-8 then after he falls asleep DH and I hang out together until bed time. Then DH tucks me into bed in our room and joins Julian in his room when he's ready for bed.

Works like a charm.

[mommyto2guatboys]

Not so good I know like another poster mentioned, but our 4 year old falls asleep on the couch and we take him up to bed with us when we are ready to go to sleep. He can't sleep alone, it's like if I left him up there asleep he'll wake up 15 minutes later in a panic and take forever to fall back asleep.

Magen
My family!

[Guatemom]

We do this, too. We have a very, VERY old house...all the bedrooms are upstairs, and altho the house is childproofed (even gated at the top of the stairs so no danger there), if they woke up and we weren't there, they freak out. So, if I need to be downstairs for something after bedtime, Connor has 2 huge floor pillows he makes into a bed, and Cristian camps on the couch. As long as they hear us bustling around, they're usually ok. Both still tend to wake and check to see where they/we are, so we can't just take them to their rooms and come back downstairs (that and I don't like to do it b/c 1)we don't have monitors and 2)I'm not able to run up & down the stairs as it is). But, if we're upstairs, Cristian usually sleeps in our bed until we're ready to go to sleep. Then we take him to his crib. By that point, he's usually in such a deep sleep he doesn't care to be in his crib. Connor...as long as when he wakes up, wherever it is, he can get to us, he's ok. So he just sleeps in his bed, which is next door to our room, when we're upstairs. Hope that helps some. I say get him a portacrib (sp) and keep him with you until you're ready for bed.

[KKR213]

My son does the same thing lately. I cannot leave him until he falls asleep. The problem is the little bugger waits me out a lot so I end up falling asleep too and then waking at 2 am and not getting anything I need to get done completed. Good luck!!

[LRA]

Here is what worked for us. We have story time, 2 books and then either dad or I stay in and cuddle him, We darken the room but not so much that we can't read once we come to bed, until he falls asleep, usually about 10 minutes and then we can leave. Carlos is a very sound sleeper and so once he is out he doesn't wake when we leave. I don't know if your son is a light sleeper it may not work for you. But we have explained to him that it's books, then bed and then we will come to bed when we are ready..if not then he has to go to his bedroom and sleep in his bed. I know I was a crazy mess until we figured this out. I feel your pain. Before that we did let him fall asleep on the couch, but that did not always happen so he was up until we were ready for bed.

[hbrown22]

You mentioned that he can and will climb out of his crib. When our DD started doing that (she was about 20 months), we put her in a toddler bed. She thought that was the coolest thing and loved sleeping in her big girl bed. Maybe if you played it up to him that he would be so big just like his big sister? Just a thought! I just can't handle the co-sleeping thing. Neither DH or I can sleep with one of the kids in the bed with us! The kids don't sleep well either.

[JustBarbara]

Hmmm - little boy just turned 3 and he has made it his mission to get out of his room and come into my room sometime in the middle of the night. Sometimes he'll call me and I'll go in, rub his back and sometimes he falls back asleep. If not, and it's a weekday, I bring him into my bed, no talking, just silence. But this morning I woke up at 630am and realized he was right next to me. I can tell if he comes in by himself because the door separating our rooms is open only enough for him (and cat and bear and thomas) to squeeze through. To make things interesting sometimes he comes in, lobs various trains over my head, crawls over me (while I pretend to snore/sleep) and then gives me a tight hug around the neck with a 'Hi Mama'.

[Mommy K]

When we try to put our daughter to sleep and she is not tired-she does the same thing. We wanted her to be comfortable in her own room-as we are very light sleepers. She sleeps in a toddler bed. So some days I cut her nap a little short so she is a bit more tired at bedtime (7:30) Or-she has a full nap & goes to bed at 8:00. We also ask her if she wants to stay up late-she has to sleep in her big girl room-because staying up late is for big girls. So far this has been working-