[hscott]

Our dd has been home 2 mo. and I realize this problem stems from her lack of ability to communicate. She is 22 mo. old and whenever we tell her no, take something away that could harm her or if she doesn't like something, etc. she will swat and hit whoever is closest to her. She particularly likes to hit us in the face which usually sends my glasses flying. UGGHHH!!

I keep telling her NO Hitting! and BE NICE!!! I have tried holding her hands which makes her hit more when I let go. Any ideas how to stop this unacceptable behavior? Thanks in advance!!!!!!!

Heather

[qs mom]

Hit her back YOu know you want to

Seriously, have you tried baby sign? It cuts down on the child's frustration level because they are better understood.

Being home only 2 months, English may still be difficult. Her receptive language is probably great, but her expressive isn't. I would say the words in Bulgarian, (my son is Bulgarian) and in English while signing.

[JillnChris]

DD did this a lot when she first came home. Now she only does it every once in a while if she is really po'd at me (like today in Old Navy). When she first came home I would just do what you are doing. Maybe try putting her down to show that she will not get mommy's attention when she hits. I used to put dd down and turn my back just for a few seconds and then turn back around and move on. We did a lot of "show me how to be nice" and took her hand and gently stroked my face.
Now that she is 2 and has been home longer I use time out but usually only if it involves another child.
It is really just a matter of having a lot of patience I think. I know it used to make me really mad when she would do this. I tell her "I don't hit you, why do you hit me?" When she hits or hurts another child I talk to her about what else she could have done to show her frustration. Of course this will only work once she is more verbal but I will tell her "Instead of hitting ask if you can have a turn. Say, 'please my turn'."

[klkmomtobe]

Wow, my DD is 23 months old and came home 3 months ago. She is doing exactly the same thing! I also have tried holding her hands which only seems to make it worse. I have tried time out that causes lots of tears and drama. Recently, I have been telling her to kiss me to let me know she is sorry. She does this happily and moves on but I don't want to send the message that it is okay to hit if she says she is sorry. I'm really anxious to hear the advice others have. Just wanted to let you know you were not the only one having this problem. Good luck.

Megan

[melissa41]

My ds went through a hitting stage around 18 months. We had just moved to a new city. I'm sure that created some anxiety and he began hitting both me and dh. We did some of the same as other posters. We would in a calm but firm voice say things like 'hitting is not nice" " we do not hit" and "no hitting". We often held him and his arms down while we said these things. We also had him rub gently on our faces and say "be gentle" and "we like it when you are gentle" etc so he would know what is good. The stage was over after a month or so but it was really hard during that time. Now that he is 2, he will sometimes hit when he is frustrated (but much, much, much less). We have also started time outs so we will sit him in timouts and then talk to him about why he is sitting when the time out is over. He will normally start rubbing our faces gently. It is VERY sweet! He definitely knows that hitting is not accepted and what is appropriate. Of course when he is mad, sometimes that flies oput the window but I do feel we have made progress in this area! Good luck. It can be frustrating.

[mamaskoby]

Our behavioral therapist told us to redirect our son, tell him "give kisses not hits" and when he gives kisses make a super big deal out of what a wonderful thing they did. Hope this helps. I know its hard to get through this stage.

[jgriese1]

We used baby signs and it seemed to reduce the hitting until he became verbal and could express himself.

[momofMikhail]

Our son came home at 17 months and did the exact same thing. We would hold his hands and arms down and tell him hitting is not nice. It lasted about 2 months, but we also knew the reason he was hitting us. We adopted our ds from Russia where he was in an orphange. None of his caretakers ever held him facing them, only facing away from them. He was also farsighted and was having a hard time with us being so close. (I'm sure communication was a big reason also)

Once we started to bond the hitting was over though. We had to show him what nice touchs were. And how to express himself without the hitting. We use to take my ds'd hands and have him pet our faces like he would a puppy. Now he will put his hands on our checks just about everytime he wants a kiss (I love when he does that). Every time our ds would hit us in the face we would hold his hands down, tell him he needs to use nice touches, show him what nice touches were, then put him down for awhile (he wanted to be held all day for the first few months).

Hope this helps, and don't get to aggrevated I'm sure it will get better.

[sstinson]

If Evelyn hits I tell her "hands are for hugging, not hitting." It seems to work for her.

[jimanddarla]

Sorry you are experiencing this Heather. When Abe did this (mostly to Darla) when we came home we had the same problem except it involved more scratching and biting.

When he did this we would hold his hands down to his side (for our self-defense mostly) and say "no hitting" in a stern voice. We would then put him down for about 30 seconds to a minute.

One thing that I think really helped is that Darla started carrying Abe in a Mayan wrap instead of a stroller.

Whatever you do just be consistent and this will pass.

Congratulations on being home!