[Aidensparents]

on what to do with my 3 yr old. Every week we go to story time at the library and before we leave the house we have the same talk about how he has to be nice and share with the other kiddos and he always says "ok mommy". Today we go and he is a complete monster before we ever get into the room. He threw a fit because someone got in the elevator with us, he didn't like that someone was already over playing with the puzzles, and he wouldn't share one of the toys. I reminded him that he was supposed to be sharing and being nice and it just kept happening so I picked him up and apologized to those we meet there and I brought him home and put him in timeout and he is unable to watch any cartoons for the day or play for a little bit. Mind you, the library is not the only place this happens and we are very consistent with his discipline. What am I supposed to do? am I doing something wrong? I have 2 older daughters and they never acted this way. Sorry this is so long but I am beside myself on what to do with his behavior.

[Ms.Judi]

Does he got to Pre-school?? Sounds like he needs some socialization skills and learning how to share with others. This age is particularly hard because there is an inner struggle with still wanting to be a baby and spreading his wings and becoming a BIG boy. Maybe try a Mothers day out program or something where he can interact with other children. Hang in there!!

[Suzeb1]

I have seen this exact same behavior with my dd and recently had her assessed for sensory processing disorder. I'm really glad I was familiar with SPD because the majority of her syptoms present as challenging behaviors, so I think it could have been overlooked for a long time, and it would just look like she was "misbehaving." No surprise, she did assess with some mild issues. She has a particulary difficult time in malls, and certain restaurants.

Your son may not have any sensory challenges but it might be worth looking at a list of potential symptoms. Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist

If that doesn't look like something that could be happening, experience and practice (like Ms. Judi suggested) could be just what he needs. It sounds like it may really be more of an issue of "I can't" or "I don't know how" than "I won't."

Good luck, you'll figure it out!

Susan

[bookaddict3]

In general boys are also differnt than girls in behavior so just because your dds could do it at that age doesn't mean your son can. If there is no senory processing issue, maybe try a different discipline system. I have different systems for my dd and my ds. For my dd having a timeout and losing privileges during the day works - my ds could care less. For my ds he has a treat every day and its something different (extra 10 minutes for bed, a piece of gum after dinner, getting an extra book at library, etc. - nothing big, no bribery; its things that I would do for the kids anyway if they were good I just verbalize at the bginning of the day what he's working for). He gets 3 strikes if I get to three (no 2 1/2s) he loses his treat. If he acted impressively he can go backwards as well and I will give him on warning before each number - do you want a 1 - if not act this way? It works wonders and very rarely uses his treat - Its based on the discipline book 1 2 3 magic. I'm not saying ot willwork for you ds but sometimes you have to figure out what discipline works the best and be consistent with what works. Good luck

[Aidensparents]

Yes, he does go to preschool and his teacher says he is great there...go figure...LOL