[MommieMin]

We have been talking about starting #2 for last few months. Actually it has been me talking and hubby listening. Yesterday I checked a photolisting website and fell in love with a little one. I e-mailed my hubby links to a few of them and he picked the same one. Anyway I sent my mom a photo last night via e-mail to see what she thought. I didn't tell her the sex or where from just sent the pic. She came right back and told me she doesn't want me to do another adoption that she thinks I should try getting pregnant again. Trying last time was such a long and emotional process that just never happened. We decided long ago we wanted to adopt no matter what. We want at least one of our own but have both come to terms that if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen and God has chosen our path for us. We are both in awe of this little one but not having my mother's support hurts. It is making me 2nd guess myself and if I can do this. I am also having the 2nd child jitters but don't want that to persuade my decision at all. I love my son so much and can see so many more children in my home no matter where they come from.

Thanks for letting me vent! You guys have always picked me back up.

Hugs,

Mindy

[TXTennis]

We are thinking about #2 and I was told by my dad that we should start another adoption only after he was gone- like dead ---

Not necessarily the encouragement I was looking for but I am a little older and I would not even want to try for a BIO baby. At first my parents were a little nervous and not real supportive or negative just kind of neutral about it. Now our DD is the light of their lives, so I can't take his comments seriously, although I think it was intended that way.

[mommytoEli]

How did you know to start #2

the phone rang. lol. seriously though....1 and 2 came together. #3 found me. #4 we weren't ready for, but dh found him on a photo listing and he stole our hearts. we knew we wanted another one eventually, so we went for it. #5 found us bc he was the sibling of #3....but now we are looking towards #6 and last. we are NOT ready. but i think i'll be ready when #1 and 2 are about to go to college (in 3 years), when 3 and 4 are both in school, and #5 is on his way. i want to know i have the time and energy to devote to #6. while we wait to be ready, we research and save and dream. #6 has a name already, and some outfits...lol. if we waited for our family to be ready for 6, she'd never come, bc our family thought we were crazy at #4! lol. #5 was a little source of contention, but i think we "got away with it" bc he was related to a child we already had. but if my dad were alive and listening to me talking about 6, i'm sure he'd have an unfavorable opinion as well. i still wouldn't care. this is my family, AND one thing i've learned about family and friends is that they sing a different tune after the child is with you. my dad made a comment before he died last spring about how 5 kids was too many. i asked which one of them i should send back. he couldn't answer bc he loved them ALL. so....as crazy as they may think it is before hand, afterwards, it doesn't really matter...

[ndv101]

I to have been thinking about #2. I want a little girl so bad but I also don't want to take anything away from my son either. I wonder if I can give him the attention he needs if we add another one to the family

[cbmstephanie]

I think you will just know when it's time. At that time, it won't matter what your parents, friends or anyone says or feels, you will know it's right and you will do it. Don't worry about having enough love, patience or the organizational skills to have more than one...you do!!

Remember, this is going to be your and your DH's child...no one elses...whether he or she is BIO or brought to you another way...you and you two alone should make the decision to have another child.

[Larue]

Hey Mindy, your Mom sounds just like my Mom. Are we sisters?!

In my case, I was checking out photo listings and researching adoption programs about 2 seconds after Sabrina was home. But DH wasn't quite ready to jump back into the fray yet, so we gave ourselves some time. Then a few months ago he said he was ready. And the paperchase began.

Whenever I discuss our next adoption with my Mom, she tells me that I'm too old to have more children. I believe her exact words are "Laura you're not a Spring chicken, you know". So I understand what you mean about not having your mother’s support, and how it hurts. But in the end, it's really between DH and me. And we have the room in our home and the love in our hearts. So here we go!

If your Mom won’t be excited for you, I will. Best wishes….sis!

[Amber76]

DH and I had started sort of talking a little bit about possibly starting the homestudy process again when our DS turns one in April. But, then we got a call from our international agency-they have a new domestic program, they need families interested in adopting because they have a few expectant moms they are working with, they thought of us because they know we paid them a large fee and they'd like to honor our contract by finding a child for us, they knew we'd already been the domestic route once. So, much to our surprise, really, we are on the road to #2 now-at least 3 or 4 months ahead of when we were thinking we might be. Sometimes it just hits you over the head that it's the right time to start again. Our parents think we're crazy, but they support us anyway. I hope yours will come around too. I'm sure a sweet new grandchild would probably be a good incentive for them to realize you were right! Good luck!

[Waiting4Zach]

I think that since you and your hubby both picked the same child that the Lord is telling you this one is right. As far as your mom, it is hard for people to understand the heartache when you try to have children and can't. I personally think you should start the adoption. You know we will all support you here!

[Shannavi]

What does your heart say?? Building a family is between you and your husband. Not that what your mother feel isn't important but you have to do what makes YOU happy. My husband and I just recently started on #2 because it will be a long process. Maybe the fact you and your husband picked tha same picture is a sign?

[kerriv]

I knew from the moment I started #1 that #2 would come, it was just a matter of timing. #2 came sooner than I planned, though, because I decided to use my tax refund to pay for it. I thought I'd wait longer because I assumed I'd adopt another Guate babe but when that wasn't an option, I went to Ethiopia and got an older girl and it's been wonderful.

[AngelQT]

My # 2 Started with a Phone call... Someone called me... You know... The adoption agency asking me if I were interested in the Biological Sibling of my daughter...

Well, my heart said yes, pocket book said no, mom said... IF you were preg, would you keep the baby or give it up? All I said, was I would keep it of course, I would have to find a way to make it work... And all she said was you have your own answer...

My mom was supportive with whatever decissions I have made... Yes some of them were stupid, but she still supported me...

I wouldn't change it for the world... Granted being a single mom, of 2 toddlers, only 1 year apart is tough... But in the same breath WONDERFUL... I was scared to death of having #2... Yes, the jitters, and ups and downs, of what in the world am I doing?... But, now I am doing and it is great...

Your feels are normal. Go with your gut feeling, and trust me, people will come around...

Heck when I told my brother I was doing it, he told me to go by a Harely, they are cheaper! The other brother said to get a puppy instead... But, now, #2 is the sparkle in their eye... And they are Great Roll Models for my little ones...

I say do it... Something in your gut drew you to the webpage, and picture. Call the agency and see if the child is still avail. And if it is... Go with it, if it isn't maybe it wasn't meant to be... And there is another child out there waiting JUST FOR YOU~!

Good Luck.. Hope to hear some good news soon!

Hugs
Ellie