[SaraAvaandLileesMama]

The girls and I went out to grab some lunch. When we were pulling in our driveway I saw a young black male walking up the road. ( we live in a small city, so people walk and ride bikes up and down our St. all day long) We he stop at the end of my drive way (but the other side of the street) to tie his shoe. No biggie, but I wanted to wait until he walked further up the street before stepping out. We have had alot of robbery's at gun and knofe point recently, targeting women. So I am always on alert! Well then the man kept looking up at like he was waiting for me to get out of the car. Then he stood up and started fiddling in his backpack but looking over at me the whole time. SO I called my DH just to let him know what was going on. He stood there about 5 min. total and I would not get out of my SUV. I put it in reverse and started inching back just to know I am in motion. He finally started up the street very slowing but turning around every few steps to look at me. I let me see me on the phone . If he had started to walk up to my car I was going to run him over. Its been a 1/2 hr. now and I am still shaking. I watched him walk 3/4 out of site before getting the girls out and running them in the house. Everything is double locked! But now I have to leave to go get the boys from school and I do not want to leave my house.

I did not call the cops because he was not on our property and he did not say anything to me. My DH said maybe he was just checking you out. I don't care what he was doing it freaked me out! If I see him walk this way again and even look at the house I will report it.

I live on a very busy road and have great watch dog neighbors. Ironic thing is I am the Crime Watch leader in our neighborhood. But have not had a meating in a while because all has been calm. I guess it is time for one!

I did go and let my Big Dogs out to patrol! And If I get scared enough I will take them with me to go and pick the boys up from school!

[CalamityJane]

This post seems incredibly racist. I hope I'm reading it wrong, I really do. Especially on a forum devoted to adopting children of a different race than caucasian.

[TheFoxx]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane

This post seems incredibly racist. I hope I'm reading it wrong, I really do. Especially on a forum devoted to adopting children of a different race than caucasian.

I was thinking the same thing.

[celticsunshine06]

I have to agree. If he would have been caucasian, would race have been mentioned?

[Slatond10]

( ok, racist slant aside)

If I read your post right your girls were with you? How did they respond? I only ask because we have had some vandalism in our neighborhood. We have one group of teenagers (probably) destroying mailboxes and this has happen 3 x and then we had a "gang" (per police) that went around breaking into cars. One car was stolen from our street and about 7 cars broken into w/ things taken. There are only about 11 houses on our street and it is separate from the main development ( the main development was hit as well)

My DD is 4 and she has turned into a watch dog as far as the mailboxes are concerned and it really UPSETS her terribly to see the mailboxes on our street annihilated again. She has ask tons of questions, etc.

Just the little bit of vandalism we have encountered has kind of put me on edge and more concern for our safety. Especially since my real watch dog is a mini poodle with the heart of a German Shephard and I am a Single mom so no big tough man there to protect us!

[guatparents2be]

I'm so sorry that was frightening for you.
It may be that he was just messing with you because you seemed scared and he was feeling racially profiled for being young and black.

I have a hunch that this is going to turn into a thread about racism and I'd just like to say that this is a great opportunity for the OP to learn a bit more about some of the racist assumptions that we all make, and that we all need to look at these and face them.

We all need to understand more about how our own children will experience racism in their lives.

We all need to look at our own racist assumptions.

This is an excellent link to check out.
Anti-Racist Parent - for parents committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook

[HaloLove]

I agree that this post seems racist. I wonder if you would have had the same reaction if the individual was caucasian?

[Mil]

I was rather surprised at the immediate 'racist' comments. When I read the original poster's message, that never occurred to me. Had she said a young white man, you wouldn't have even commented on it. She was just describing the guy. Racism works both ways. I would be leary of any young man loitering by my driveway.

To the OP - I think you did the right thing by not getting out and alerting your husband! Especially having your kids with you. You can't be too careful!

[vegaschristina]

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't see this as a racist post. I don't think she needs to be schooled in racist assumptions.

She said there had been a string of robberies and a young man was acting oddly at the end of her driveway.

She mentioned he was black, but the larger picture is that there have been a string of robberies and a young man acting suspiciously. That's not racist, it's caution.

[bethy724]

If you & your children are scared becuase a young black man is tying his shoes in the driveway I hope you can instill in them that the color of a persons skin shouldn't make them (or you) scared. If it were my son in your driveway I'd be offended by the assumption he was there to rob or cause anybody harm. If "white" or "asian" or "hispanic" were written as part of the description I'd be just as offended. You'd run a human being over for walking up to your car? Any person or just a teenage male? Could you drive off? (around the person)

Again - if the suspects in the robberies are described as African American teen, male I'd report suspicious activities. I live in a diverse neighborhood so a black teen male walking down the street is not cause for alarm.

[JGarrick]

I'm not sure where the racism comments are coming from. His behavior was suspicious in my opinion, regardless of race. If he had just stopped to tie his shoe, it wouldn't be cause for concern. Someone standing on a street staring at people in car for several minutes is suspicious.

Would it be sexist if she just said it was a young male? How about ageist if she just said a young person?

That said, I have to agree in part with bethy724 - running him over is certainly overreacting when you could just drive away.

I'd also note that pulling into a driveway and not getting out of the car might also be considered suspicious. Maybe he lived in the neighborhood and was wondering why you pulled into the driveway and didn't get out.

[Gia923]

I see nothing wrong in op's description of a man who stood curiously too long at the end of her driveway. That would have unsettled me too, whether the guy was white, black or purple. What I see unearthing is the quick accusations of racisim because of her description of that man and knowing that yes, had the guy been white, and she described him as a "young white male", this thread would be on a completely different path. Would anyone really have cared if she described him as a "young white male"? Any guy, of any color - standing for 5 minutes watching me and my children would alarm me and I will assume as much with the original poster. And as such, OP should have the freedom to describe him as to how he looked without such negative feedback.

Finally, we live in a scary world and I teach my daughter to always side with caution. I don't teach her to read people's skin color, but I will teach her to be cautious if a man or wowan is acting in a strange way, and that is exactly how I read the original post!

Obviously, we can tout racism in this post but not at the hands of the OP.

[Waiting4Zach]

Originally Posted by vegaschristina

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't see this as a racist post. I don't think she needs to be schooled in racist assumptions.

She said there had been a string of robberies and a young man was acting oddly at the end of her driveway.

She mentioned he was black, but the larger picture is that there have been a string of robberies and a young man acting suspiciously. That's not racist, it's caution.

I agree, I did not see this as a racist post. I would have been nervous if I knew there had already been a string of robberies happening, since the man kept looking at her and didn't move on.

[Disneycrazed]

Just a different take on this... I read it again and wondered if there was a possibility that the young man was wondering why you kept looking at him and was in some way concerned about you. I know that may sound silly but just a thought.

[karen nickols]

and no matter his or her color, that would have freaked me out.