[kimbo1]

kinda expected to have PPSD with our DD 7 after our exciting weekend, but I never expected the severity we are now dealing with in our 2 year old!!!

DH & I need help with our 2 year old. She cries hysterically & shakes in the car the entire time, now. L She wants Daddy to stop the car, she wants me to hold her & she INSISTS I at least hold her hand.

She has a death grip on my finger, & any time the car moves in a way she isn’t expecting the shaking becomes uncontrollable & you can’t understand her through her tears.

Granted, tonight was the first time out since the accident, in a new car seat & in Daddy’s car, instead of the van……but still!

I was wondering a few things:

1. Should we take her to a psychologist?
2. How long should we let this behavior go on before we do take her to a Child Psychologist?
3. Any ideas to help her through this w/ out seeing one?

I have to drive tomorrow (which I am fine with & totally ready to do), but I can’t hold her hand while I’m driving.

We tried music, & singing & praying with her-nothing settled her AT ALL!

Ugggg.

Any child physcologists out there? How should we proceede?

[hscott]

I hope someone has some answers. Bumping for you......

You are in my prayers.

Heather

[w8ting4Thomas]

I read about your accident. First of all...so glad you are all ok.
I have no answers for you but will be praying you all feel better SOON!!!!!

[mommytoEli]

i don't think it would hurt to talk to her doctor or go to a child psych. trauma is a big deal for little kids. i'm not surprised she's having a hard time....i'd probably be having a hard time, too....poor thing.

[kimbo1]

Originally Posted by w8ting4Thomas

I read about your accident. First of all...so glad you are all ok.
I have no answers for you but will be praying you all feel better SOON!!!!!

Thanks for praying for us!!

[kimbo1]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

i don't think it would hurt to talk to her doctor or go to a child psych. trauma is a big deal for little kids. i'm not surprised she's having a hard time....i'd probably be having a hard time, too....poor thing.

I just don't even know how to go about finding a good child psychologist, especially since she is so young! Forunately, she talks really well & vocalizes everything she feels!

[laylasmom]

I would call her doctor for advice. If he/she thinks she should see a psychologist they can refer you to one.
Good luck!

[avoel]

Talk with your ped. They can help you find someone. Child psychologists or play therapists can definitely help with this kind of thing and it likely won't take more than a couple of sessions...but untreated it is not likely to just disappear and can get worse.

[DPline]

The other option is to call your insurance company. When we needed a therapist for our son, our pediatrician wasn't willing/able to recommend someone, so we called our insurance company and they gave us a list of local therapists who worked with children. We did a little research online on each to pick one.

Good luck!

[SKL]

I would try to re-introduce driving very gradually. Begin at a time of day when she's most likely to be able to calm herself. Start with a very short trip, even just up and down the driveway, and then give a gap for her to relax and have fun before you try again, with a slightly longer trip. Tell her exactly how long each trip will be. Maybe tell her she will get something nice at the end of the trip. Let her hold her "lovey" during the trip. When she says she is scared that an accident will happen, tell her that hardly ever happens, and remind her of many pleasant trips (pre-accident) when nothing bad happened. Be as matter-of-fact as possible.

If she has toy cars, maybe have her play with the cars and get some of the fears out of her system that way. Talk about/demonstrate all the things drivers can do to keep safe, and tell her you and dad will be doing all those things.

Another thing - is it possible that you also feel nervous about being in a car / driving now? If so, she is surely picking up on it, so consider what you may need to do to get past this.

I'd give her at least a few days or a week before turning to professional help. Just my opinion.

Good luck!

[Slatond10]

I haven't been thru this but DD did have a traumatic experience @ the Dr when she was 2 and we did a "role" play @ home that seemed to help her thru it.

Can you role play @ home w/ battery operated vehicles or go to a play gym w/ bumper cars? Let her BE IN CONTROL! ... I let DD be the Dr and me the patient. She was able to physically as well as verbally ( limited vocab) express what happen and get it out???


Good luck with what ever you do. You and your family will be in our prayers.

[joepegcamp]

I've had experience with trauma. It's hard. She simply can't help it. The good thing is that she's letting her anxiety out.

I would take her to a trauma specialist. Talk to her pediatrician and ask for referrals, or call your local hospital. (Most ER Trauma centers know who these folks are.)

At her age, they'll some specially-designed therapies to help her move past it.

I would also talk about your anxiety. I'm sure the accident was frightening for everyone involved. Every time you get in the car, you can say something like "Wow, I'm nervous about driving. That accident really scared me. But we're okay after that accident and I think we'll be okay now."

When this happened to me, my parents gave me a lot of room for misbehavior (within reason, of course). I was angry at the world and scared and anxious. They let me work through that.

If she hasn't already, she may want to start co-sleeping with you. With me, I processed a lot of the fear in my dreams and needed to have someone close by.

She will get through this. As I said, the good news is that she's not repressing the fear, anxiety and trauma. She's expressing what she's afraid of and that's a good sign.

PM me if you need more info. You'll be in my prayers.

PS: Your seven year old may need to see the specialist, too.

[CaddoRose]

SKL-you wrote exactly what I would say!

Until you can get to a therapist,just keep explaining to her that accidents can happen but that's what they are. Accidents. They don't happen every day.

Do some at home play therapy. Give her some paper and crayons and let her draw first thing in the morning. Help her put her feelings on paper. Draw pictures with her of the family in a van and their ok and happy.

Do the role playing that Slantond10 suggested. By playing it out, she can come to an understanding by working it out her way.

If she has ever had any other type of accident, like falling down and scraping a knee or someone else in the family falling off a bike, etc., you can use that as an example of how accidents happen, but we're all still here.

I know it's got to be tough because as a Mom you have places to go and things to do It's going to take time for her to process what happened and come to some peace about being in a car. The fear of losing you is so real to her.

My heart goes out to you and her. We'll be praying for that she is able to find some peace and soon.

[asauer]

I would definitely look to your ped. for advice.

However, here's a personal bit: I was in a car crash when I was a child and was petrified to get back in any vehicle. So, my doc recommended immersion therapy, where you do it over and over 'til you're not scared. It must have been torture for my mom the first few times. We started with short distances, around the block, to the grocery store, (doing these at least once/ day). Then progressed the distances. After about a month I wasn't in the least scared to get in a car.

[joepegcamp]

Immersion therapy is good -- but before you start anything, talk to a trauma specialist. There is a risk of terrorizing the child even more. The specialist will know what to look for, how far to push, etc.