[kerriv]

Medina was recently told by a boy in her class that I'm not her real mom. We had a great talk about real moms and how kids can have two real moms just like moms can have 2 real kids and how a lot of kids don't know about adoption and don't understand this. Medina has a lot of memories of her family in Ethiopia since she was in the orphanage for a short time before she came to me at age 7. Her family is part of our daily conversation, which really took the anxiety of our conversation about the "real mom" stuff.

Anyway, I asked her if she'd like for me to talk to her class about what adoption means and she said that she would. She is currently in kindergarten. I'm going to talk to her teacher about doing a presentation. Has anyone done this kind of presentation? Can you give me any suggestions?

TIA

[guatparents2be]

adoptive families magazine website (i don't think i can post a link there??) has a link for 'talking about adoption' with some resources. i know this has been addressed in the mag a number of times. i'll FB you the link.

[Quesita]

I don't have any suggestions for the presentation, but I just wanted to say that I think you handled a difficult situation very well. Medina's memory of her first family is, and always will be vivid in her mind. The fact that you talk about them on a daily basis must be both painful and healing for Medina, and it says a lot about the kind of mother you are.

Please let us know how the presentation goes.

[GuatMommy2Be]

Just thinking out loud here...

What about touching base on families are made very differently, some kids live with grandparents, aunts, uncles, foster parents, one mother or one father, etc.. Then a little about how Medina is from Ethiopia, and she has parents there as well as a Mommy in the US. Maybe share a few photos of you and Medina meeting or photos from Ethiopia...

That may be WAY off base on what you are thinking but just some ideas.

[kretzklan]

I did a presentation for my DD's kindie class after she was adopted at age 6. I started my reading a book called My New Family (I think)...if you are interested PM me and I promise I'll dig through and find it! It talks about all different types of families and especially touches on intl. adoption. I told them a little about the correct "language" to use in adoption - likening the word "real" to the difference between humans and robots. I explained that adoptive families are very real families. We talked about what a "real" family does and of course, in kindie, not a single one mentioned genetics in any way - so I could point out that our family does those things as well (some were "eat dinner together", "help me when I'm sick").
I had discussed with DD prior, what she would be ok with sharing (the book mentions orphanages) and what she wouldn't. We had a little Q&A and I let her answer some that were simple while I took the deeper ones. If they were too personal, we simply said "there are so many things in DD's story that we think are special and some of those are just for us to know".

It worked well and I did it with DS's class as well (it was 3rd grade)...also worked there!

Kids were just very curious. We took a map and showed where Russia is and talked about the differences between there and here. You may have some different questions due to the fact that your DD is a different "color" than you...so be prepared up front for how you'll answer that to a young kiddo!

Good luck - I was glad I did it and I could tell it made DD (and DS) feel proud of their lives for that time!

[LucyLuMyLuv]

My daughter came home at age 6 and also has memories of her first family. I did a presentation in Nov 2007 in her 2nd grade classroom. I started out by asking the kids if they knew what being adopted meant. I read the book "Forever Fingerprints" to the class. After the reading the kids were allowed to ask my daughter and I questions. I was amazed at the questions they asked and my daughter answered most of them herself. After that we made fingerprint drawings that the kids got to take home.
I have found that teaching adults acceptable adoptive language starts with teaching the kids. My daughters have brought up the "real" mommy issue a few times and I always respond by asking them if I am fake then go on to explain that they have 2 mommies. They finally understand.

[guatparents2be]

and also...
i was at the library saturday and saw this book Amazon.com: You're Not My Real Mother!: Molly Friedrich, Christy Hale: Books and thought of you guys
i took a quick peruse through it and it looked good at first glance
just finally had time to try to find it as i was too lazy to write down the info- and of course it took me way longer to do it this way. i'm so lame sometimes!
xo!
-s