[TracyC]

The past few days have been a nightmare for me. My dad suddenly passed away on Saturday 12/20. I saw him in the morning and then went Christmas shopping for him & my father in law. When I returned from shopping there was a frantic message from my mom. She had found him face down on the driveway. In a matter of an hour I went from Xmas shopping to rushing to the ER, to going in a private room where my family was waitng for me, to having my mom tell me my daddy was dead, to being led to a room to see him. My world stopped spinning right then and there.

I have been struggling on how to deal with this and i just don't know how. When I was going through the adoption process, everyone here was so supportive of me and I'll never forget how wonderful you all were. I am sure some of you have gone through this and I was hoping you might be able to relate to me. My dad and I were so very close, I saw him twice a day every day. He and my mom babysat Natalie while Scott & I worked. He was my biggest supporter for our adoption of Natalie. He went to all of our meetings. He helped us bring her home. He loved my little girl so darn much and it is breaking my heart that he will not have the chance to see her grow up. Natalie is asking where her grandad is. She misses him already. She sees me crying and tells me not to be sad.

Thank you for letting me talk about this. It helps to express some of my feelings right now.

Tracy

[keirasmom]

Tracy, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I wish I had something more comforting to say to you, but I don't think there is anything that can be said to ease your pain. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[Jensboys]

No words, just know this stranger is praying for you. Many hugs during your time of loss and grief.

[GuatMommy2Be]

Tracy,

My heart goes out to you- it is so hard when they pass unexpectedly. I have been in your shoes, but as a teenager.

You can not think of the tomorrows, instead think of the right nows. You need to get through this one day at a time.

Take comfort in knowing how very much he loved you and your daughter- teach your daughter how special he was- and how he adored her.

Hugs to you-

[Ms.Judi]

I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved Dad. keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[giovanni7460]

I am so very sorry. I dont know the words that will make it better for you. Just know that we are hear for you whenever you need us.
Patty

[happykosmo]

I'm so sorry and not quite sure what words to say to bring you comfort. Just know that he loves you and your family, he is with you always and will be watching you all grow. He isn't gone, just away for awhile until you see him again.

[JoshGuat]

Tracy, I am so sorry to hear. My heart goes out to you. It is very difficult to loose a parent/s. I lost both of my parents at a young age and it is very difficult, especially around the holidays. You have fond memories of your father and he sounds like he was a wonderful, incredible man. I will lift you and your family up in prayer. I am so sorry.

[Dmitry'smom]

I don't have any advice but I am so sorry your dad passed. My dad is gone too and I understand how lost you feel at this moment. Hugs and Prayers to you at this difficult time.

[amyfk]

(((TracyC))) hugs to you! I am so sorry for the death of your dad, and I know it isnt easy when it is sudden and during the holiday. I hope others here can give you some words of wisdom since I havent been through this stage of life yet.
Take care of yourself,
Amy K, NJ

[SKL]

I'm sorry that you are hurting. Your father was and is a great blessing. I am praying for you to find peace during the holidays.

[drjeanne]

Tracy,
I'm sorry about your Dad. It's so hard to lose a parent. I lost my Mom a little over 4 years ago. Like your loss, mine was sudden. I was working and having an average sort of day and then one phone call and my world changed forever. I kept saying to myself as I drove the 40 minutes to my hometown "I can't believe this is happening". I still have days today that I can't believe she's not here! Some days it feels like she's still around and I'll think of something I really want to tell her and then other days it feels like she's been gone for SO much longer than 4 years. You'll work through your grief. At first it takes your breath away and you feel you can't put one foot in front of the other. After awhile, you're able to function but, it all seems a little meaningless and you feel a lot like an Oscar winning performer because on the outside you're laughing and smiling but, on the inside you just want to shout "WHY IS EVERYONE HAPPY AND SMILING WHEN MY DAD IS GONE?" Finally acceptance wins over and you get used to the fact that they're not there anymore. Yes, it takes time and you'll backslide somedays. Your family and friends will help you through and your children will be like a flashlight at the end of a long, dark tunnel.....they'll just keep flickering their little sun beams until you're ready to play again! They do that! They get you back into living your life! Just remember along the way that this, too, is part of your journey and you will learn many things from it and grow so much! Learn to lean on those you love and learn to accept as much as you give!

Praying for you here! May you find peace.
Jeanne

[SuzanneH]

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry this happened. I lost my husband so unexpectantly in April and I am really having a hard time during the holidays. Please just hang on tight to family, friends, and to God. There will be bad days and good days. I wish I could make it better. God Bless. Suzanne

[leifjackie]

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a family member isn't easy at any time, but suddenly is so much more difficult. My dad died this spring and it was rather unexpected. It began with 911 being called and he being hospitalized and then he was gone 10 days later, two days before his birthday. He never went home and never celebrated his birthday.

I think the saddest part for me is that he never had the opportunity to meet either of our daughters. He died in March and we got out of PGN in July with our first daughter. We still are in process with our second daughter and hope she is home too. I will say, it has been a painful time. For me, my dad was a shining light, my role model. He took many people into his life and was generous with so many.

At my daughter's homecoming, I was very touched to receive a framed picture of my Dad, smiling just as he always would. The very neat thing is that my 13 month old daughter leaned forward and kissed the picture without prompting. That was a healing moment for me. I new, at that time, he was with us and she knew it. It is now in my daughter's nursery. I look forward to sharing many wonderful stories about their grandpa and the shining light he provides to our family.

I am so very sorry for your loss and I know it is very hard to deal with everything. I pray that you and your family find peace and comfort during these most difficult days. You are not alone --

[akasohappy]

I am so very sorry for your loss.