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#1
12-03-2008, 12:09 PM
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I am so upset and dissapointed.
Very long story, but in short. We were in court yesterday. My husbands ex wife is suing him for more child support! Bad timing on her part since my husband sells building supplies and the market is WAY down. Anyway, one of the things the judge said was in order for him to do the recalculation for child support he needed to consider if Owen was a dependant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly jumped over the bench, I am so mad! The ex'sattorney even went as far as to say, we were irresponsible to even adopted since Paul already had a child! How am I going to get over this? It became very apparrent that the ex is just mad that we adopted Owen. I guess she feels we should have just given her the money we used to bring our son home. (by the way we used all of "my money" for this adoption)
Oh I just feel so horrible...how could someone say such stupid things about my sweet Owen. How can I protest this???
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Carolyn, Owen's Mommy 04/18/07 Referral of beautiful baby boy (DOB 03/06/07) 05/24/07 DNA taken 06/11/07 99.99% Match 07/30/07 Entered PGN without PA 08/17/07 PA 08/24/07 Kicked out of PGN 9/18/07 Resubmitted to PGN with PA 10/2/07 K/O, for NO PA again! Back in that same day!; on 2nd reviewers desk. 11/22/07 HAPPY THANKSGIVING; We are OUT!!!!!! 12/06/07 New Birth Certificate is issued (Colombo) 12/7/07 Passport 12/13/07 Orange 12/17/07 2nd DNA taken 1/3/08 2nd DNA arrived @ the US Embassy PINK 1/11/08; Embassy appointment 1/30 Home 2/1/08 
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Guatemala Adoption Information
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#2
12-03-2008, 12:16 PM
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You KNOW I know how you feel. We were in court the middle of July for our final hearing. I don't think I ever shared with you how it went, but let me just say that Thomas KEPT coming up. I was physically SICK for a week - I PROMISE.
PM me if you don't still have my #. I COMPLETELY understand!
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Thomas Born - 4/6/07 Referral - 5/7/07 HOME!!! 1/16
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#3
12-03-2008, 12:26 PM
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The attorney and ex wife sound like a bunch of idiots! As hard as it is I would take their comments and throw them out the window! Seriously what a bunch of morons. In answer to your questions about how you are going to get over it, take one big look at that adorable baby boy of yours, think about how much you love him, give him a big squeeze and kiss and no matter what tell yourself you will not let their comments get to you. They are not worth that pain!
As far as the judge goes, I am sure there are cases where people claimed other children as dependents to decrease child support owed. As much as it sucks that as adoptive parents we are scrutinized more often, just provide the proper documentation and move on. He is your husband's child period!!!! HUGS to you!!!!!
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Angie It's a girl!!!! 09/01/2006 DOB 09/13/2006 DOR 09/25/2006 DNA Done 10/04/2006 In FC 10/11/2006 FC Interviews Completed 11/09/2006 Received PA 11/17/2006 Exited FC 11/24/2006 Entered PGN 01/18/2007 Exited PGN !!! 01/30/2007 PINK!!! 02/06/2007 Embassy Appointment 02/08/2007 Home 
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#4
12-03-2008, 12:28 PM
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Quote:
It sounds like there are a bunch of crazy ex wives out there!!!! Jealously is an ugly thing huh!
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Angie It's a girl!!!! 09/01/2006 DOB 09/13/2006 DOR 09/25/2006 DNA Done 10/04/2006 In FC 10/11/2006 FC Interviews Completed 11/09/2006 Received PA 11/17/2006 Exited FC 11/24/2006 Entered PGN 01/18/2007 Exited PGN !!! 01/30/2007 PINK!!! 02/06/2007 Embassy Appointment 02/08/2007 Home
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#5
12-03-2008, 12:34 PM
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[quote=angieandstever]The attorney and ex wife sound like a bunch of idiots! As hard as it is I would take their comments and throw them out the window! Seriously what a bunch of morons. In answer to your questions about how you are going to get over it, take one big look at that adorable baby boy of yours, think about how much you love him, give him a big squeeze and kiss and no matter what tell yourself you will not let their comments get to you. They are not worth that pain!
Ditto!! As far as the judge goes, I am sure there are cases where people claimed other children as dependents to decrease child support owed. As much as it sucks that as adoptive parents we are scrutinized more often, just provide the proper documentation and move on. He is your husband's child period!!!! Yes, I bet the judge was testing him for a reaction as to the possibility that he may not be telling the truth about his son so that he could get out of CS. You know the truth but the judge sees many men who make up all types of stories. I would NOT take that personal either. HUGS to you!!!!! Ditto 
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3/07  12/07- FC & Received PA 12/28/07- Entered PGN 1/15/08/ KO of PGN-needs 3 corrections 1/28-2/2/08 visit  1/31/08-Reg CA 2/12/08-obtained number for reg CA  2/28/08-resubmit to PGN 3/31/08-4/3/08-2nd review? 4/21/08-Out of PGN  God 5/5/08 A-deed signed/BC needs to be reg/w/RENAP (RENAP 4/30/08) 5/16/08-BC completed 5/21/08- ORANGE 5/30/08-DNA sent to US Embassy-waiting for PINK 6/3/08-PINK 6/8/08-Joshua's 1st Birthday  6/11/08- Embassy apt 6/14/08- HOME FOREVER   7/25/08-received registered adoption decree in our state 8/14/08- received USA State Birth Certificate 8/25/08- received USA Soicial Security Card 8/25/08 -received letter fr USCIS-up to 120 days to rec the G-884 VISA info 9/15/08-received G-884 Visa packet info from USCIS buffalo-waited three weeks  4/10/09- G-639 10/16/09-rec G-639 http://pap2joshua.blogspot.com/ 
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#6
12-03-2008, 12:51 PM
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i feel sick. that's awful!
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#7
12-03-2008, 12:53 PM
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This must be the common theme with the ex-wife. My husband's ex started her petition for increase as soon as she found out about the adoption. How lucky you are to live in a state that would even consider the second child as a dependent for a child support order. In our state everything goes to the first family first and if you have anything left over you can move on. Good luck to you, it could always be worse.
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Kelly Home with Nicco 8/22/07 Referral,  3wks old9/14/07 POA & Visit 10/25/07 1st DNA 12/21/07 PA 2/11/08 CA 2/14/08 enter PGN 3/26/08 PGN out 4/29/08 2nd DNA 5/06/08 PINK - changed date to earlier appointment 5/7/08 Embassy 5/9/08 HOME! Just turned 9 months old  http://niccoborsa.blogspot.com
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#8
12-03-2008, 01:22 PM
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That makes me sick! I am so sorry you had to hear those aweful comments. That just shows their stupidity!
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Beth www.waiting4zach.blogspot.com 3-1 Zach was born 5-2 Referral  5-22 Home Forever 
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#9
12-03-2008, 01:31 PM
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I'm sorry this happened to you. Very ignorant and insensitive. I have seen it from the other side though - where a dad tries to get out of supporting his first kids because he now has new kids to support. So the judge has probably seen a lot, but hopefully he'll be objective regardless of the other lawyer's nasty comments. Good luck!
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Mom of Norma and Sara  ******************************** 6/06 began paper chase  9/06 home study completed 10/06 I-171 11/06 dossier completed 1/25/07 referral of Norma  1/26/07 referral of Sara 2/23/07 DNA test x 2 3/6/07 It's a match x 2! 4/23/07(?) out of FC 4/26-4/30 vist trip  5/5 & 5/7 PA x 2 5/24 "In" PGN  6/15 resubmit after KO 8/31 OUT x 2! 9/11 2nd DNA Auth 9/25 Pink!  10-10 Visa appointment 10-10 Norma's birthday party in Guatemala! 10-12 Norma and Sara are HOME!!! ******************************** Thank God for a smooth process in Guatemala 
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#10
12-03-2008, 01:32 PM
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I felt like throwing up after reading this. Blehhh!
Anna
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Annaguat  May 5,2005 start Aug. 23 I171H Sept. 20 referrals Oct. DNA match Nov. PA received, FC stuck because of holidays Dec. Awesome visit! Dec. wait for FC and out! Dec. into PGN and stuck because of holidays  March 7 OUT of PGN and OUT again  March ? GCBCs and pink March 27-31 going to pick up my babies!  March 31 Home and forever in our arms.
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#11
12-03-2008, 09:43 PM
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I am sorry for what your husband is going thru. Being divorced twice I sympathise with the whole court thing. ITs stinks and no one really wins. Its just anger after anger. To be honest I always thought the guys get the crappy end of things. Just my opinion. That being said I do have an ex who pays nothing to my daughter. Left us over 9 year ago. However he is living in a new house and supporting a girlfriends three kids. But for the decent guys who do suport there kids I believe that they need to make a new life. Taking everything never seemed fair to me.
Sorry for Owen. Thats harsh and thats sad. Patty
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#12
12-04-2008, 11:07 AM
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How awful. Your son is a sweet blessing and they are stupid ignorant waste of space if they don't see that.
Now I am mad too!
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Hannah Proud mom to: Dmitry Born 4/98 Ulyanovsk Russia Home 5/11/00 Sophia  Born 9/06 Sayaxche Peten, Guatemala Home 3/6/08!! http://memeandmonkey.blogspot.com/
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#13
12-04-2008, 02:58 PM
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I can understand being upset and I'm sure that she and her attorney are just trying to push buttons right now but please try to keep your eye on the real deal here. Your husband has a responsibility to BOTH of his children and should not push off his first child for his second child or his second child for his first.
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4/25/05 - I600 Mailed to INS 5/9/05 - In Home Visit & Couple's Interview 6/8/05 - Received completed Home Study 6/16/05 - Home Study to INS 7/6/05 - Fingerprinted for INS 7/8/05 - REFERRAL! 7/20/05 - State Authentication Received 7/27/05 - I797 is received and sent to SC 8/5/05 - Dossier sent to Guatemala 9/6/05 - DNA Performed 9/20/05 - DNA Match 11/3/05 - OUT OF FAMILY COURT & PRE-APPROVAL! 11/17/05 - OUT OF PGN! 11/28/05 - We have our BC! 12/2 - PINK! 12/5 - GET OUR BOY!
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#14
12-04-2008, 05:34 PM
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Unless you have been through these cases you have no idea the things that can be said. It is more hurtful than you can imagine. Emotions are already at an all time high. Then to hear your CHILD called names or be discounted is the worst form of hurt (ours was called all of the minority slang names you can think of and then blamed for the other 3 children ever getting sick for 1 year b/c he supposedly came home 'infested' with 'something.')
Carolyn - Hang tough girl. So much is so untrue. BELIEVE in what is true, right, good, moral, and JUST (the courts need to rethink justice, IMHO). Oh the stories I could write and the seas I could fill with my own tears. Believe me when I tell you I have cried them and understand. HANG TOUGH...and then (once this is over...it took me a month to get to this place) let it al go and move on. HUGS
__________________
Thomas Born - 4/6/07 Referral - 5/7/07 HOME!!! 1/16
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