[Clare'sMom]

Originally Posted by merkley3

I haven't had too many racial slurs... but my most hated, I mean I loath this question ...

Are they sisters?

That question bothers me sooooo much. Of course they are sisters, they are both my daughters. And that is usually how I respond.

AMEN Mary!!!! I HATE this question!!! My DH is in the hospital so we spent Thanksgiving eating catered turkey with the little kids in his room.... Three nurses came in to see the kids... OK that's nice... ALL three of them asked this question! All three after being told that our 4yr. old daughters are two weeks apart in age????? seriously folks get a brain! I have to give My Honey credit, he stood his ground and didn't offer anymore information than a very loving "Yes, they are brother and sisters, they are all our children" and when the expected "well you know what I mean came" he again said "Yes I know what you mean" and we dropped it... I think they were all embarassed..... Good!

However we do ALWAYS get the same comment every time there is a family dinner some dork askes the same thing! " Oh I suppose your kids DO like spicey food" WHAT???? I tell them the same thing EVERY TIME, Yes I like to cook with many spices. They like salt, pepper, garlic, rosemary, cinnamon..... ya think they'd learn???

[drjeanne]

Angie and Kathie,
I have had the "why didn't you adopt your own kind" question several times too and finally got in a good answer once when I wasn't too shocked to answer! I looked at the lady and said "why would I want to adopt my own kind? Then I'd have someone who asks nosy and rude questions and instead I have someone sweet". hahaha She didn't ask me anymore questions.

Jeanne

[robandjulie]

Ha!

Thanksgiving went fine except for one "real" parent comment but that was not about Jorge or us--it was in reference to a horrible child abuse situation in the local news and the mom & boyfriend versus the "real" dad but, well, if the boyfriend and mom were that abusive (the baby died) and the "real" dad had abandoned them I guess it's anyone's call on what a "real" parent is in that mess. Still, I cringed a bit.

Anyhow...today we had a birthday party for a niece and the whole extended family of BILs side was there and most of it was ok except a few "oh, so how is he doing? Is he getting used to the food here?" and one commented "Oh, I suppose he's never had spaghetti sauce before." Spaghetti and meatballs are one of the top favorite foods the FF put on his list. The rest of the list was noodles, fruits, etc. It's like pepole think he lived off the taco bell menu 24/7.

[calebs dad]

Ive had so many rude comments but the worst to me was how much did he cost. I was shocked that someone would say that. The question I get asked most is where is he from. There are some ignorant people in this world but some people dont mean to be mean. I can tell which ones are being rude.

[Hopingsoon]

I had someone who knew I adopted an infant ask me if he spoke with an accent. Yes, after bringing home a 4.5 month old infant, well over a year later, he says mama, dada, doggy, ball & spongebob with an accent......duh! My DH said I should have told this person that my son sounds just like Speedy Gonzales - a stupid answer for a stupid question.

[jules17]

Originally Posted by merkley3

I haven't had too many racial slurs... but my most hated, I mean I loath this question ...

Are they sisters?

Ooooh, yeah...my all-time hot button. Especially when they follow it up with, "Well, you know what I mean..."

To which I reply, "No, I don't."

It makes me crazy.

[yankeefan]

When I told my brother I was adopting an infant from Guatamala, he said " Good, Maybe he can teach me spanish"


My guess is people just don't think before they speak! Even if they are related!

[Amber76]

I got the dreaded, "Oh, he's so cute! How could his mom not want him?" comment from a cousin. I responded with, "His mom did want him, that's why she, I mean I, spent countless hours getting ready for him and drove all the way to Texas in the middle of the night to meet him at the hospital." She then said, "No, I mean his real mom didn't want him." I told her I felt pretty real, and if she was referring to his first mom, she wanted him too-wanted him to have more than she could offer him, wanted him to have an education, wanted him to have a mom AND a dad, wanted him to not go hungry at night, etc. She was pretty embarassed after that!

[jaymo]

when we told DH's family we had decided to adopt .. his brother commented that "well, I guess God just didn't want you to have children" ... HUH?
then, just the other day at Chili's the waiter asked me if they were "real" twins .. I said, nope, they are fake, .. pretty impressive robots, huh? so lifelike!
UGH! it will never end I suppose )

[kirbystarcat]

Stepmother called the day we got home from Vietnam not to say welcome home but to uninvite us to a family birthday party because DS needed to see a doctor to make sure he wouldn't make any of the other children at the party sick. Like I snuck foreign produce home in my bag or brought an unquarantined dog into the country. Really super nice welcome home. We were absolutely exhausted and had to deal with that. I cried for days. She still hasn't apologized and seems to be carefully avoiding conversation with DH and I. Mind you the sickest DD has ever been was from a bug she caught from stepmother's grandchildren.

[Waiting4Zach]

I haven't had any problems with my family, but I was at my friends family for the 4th of July and her stepsister asked me "What is he"; to which I replied "A little boy". She said "No, you know what I mean"; I said "I'm afraid I don't". She said "Is he Chinese, Japanese, what??". I just turned around and walked away.

[WJarman]

Our families have really been pretty good. The only comment I remember was from FIL when he asked us 'why we didn't just go down there and get him. It's not like they want him.'

But....the other day a woman at a store looked at my 3 blonde kids and my adorable curly dark-haired child and commented that he must look like his father. I replied back, 'I don't know. I don't know what his Dad looked like'. You should have seen her face. Priceless! Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

[JosieWales]

Originally Posted by jaymo

when we told DH's family we had decided to adopt .. his brother commented that "well, I guess God just didn't want you to have children" ... HUH?

My response to this is, "No, it means God wanted us to have THIS child."

[w8ting4Thomas]

We had a family member (who we don't see much...actually hardly at all) liken our experience/process/trip to pick him up to the time he went to the pound to pick out a puppy. He even asked me if I got choose my child like he was able to pick the best puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[karen nickols]

of the time a gal at church came up to me and said she was adopting and already had her baby. She had gone to the pound and got a puppy. We were deep in the midst of an over 2 year adoption and the holidays were approching. I stood there and completely fell apart bawling. I guess sometimes that is how we educate people about adoption. She felt pretty bad ( I felt worse). I don't think most people mean to be unkind. They just don't understand.