[mountainmama]

I took Elijah for his 3rd cleaning today, we changed to a pediatric dentist because he hates going to my family dentist. The child absolutely HATES going to the dentist. It is like he is possessed or something. I had to hold him down for the cleaning he threw up he was crying so hard and he burst blood vessels in his face.

I am at my wits end with this. I told my DH that from now on he is taking him, but truthfully I will probably be the one to go. He threw such a fit, it was awful. I was so embarrassed and ready to blow a gasket when I got out of there.

I don't know why he is scared, but since the very first dental visit he acts this way. This was the worst one yet.

Any suggestions? I am thinking the next time I need something for my nerves that way I wouldn't care how much he screamed, because I know they aren't hurting him. LOL

Amy

[linda512]

It is tough when you know it is irrational but it sounds like he is terrified. Can you take him with you when you go to the dentist so he has a role model? And then I would try lots of pretend play about dentists and books about dentists. If you are now going to a pediatric dentist, do they have any suggestions? I have adult friends who are still terrified of the dentist!
Can they give him anything to help him relax, at least for a few times so he can see it is not so bad?
Good luck!

[aartcreations]

I have no advice as my 2 1/2 year old has not been to the denist yet. I feel for you though. My son behaves very badly when he gets his hair cut. He just hates it and screams and cries like the barber is torturing him. I can only imagine what he will be like at the dentist. I'll be looking to see what advice others give you. Good luck.

[DPline]

Have DH take him. You never know. It just might do the trick. My DD was like that for her first few dental visits. The only good thing I could say about the whole experience is that while she was screaming, at least her mouth was open! Then, the last time she went, DH took her and she was happy as a clam. Total non-event. He couldn't understand why I had been complaining about taking her!

Good luck!

[lucyjoy]

Can you remember at what point during the first appointment your son reacted?

My son freaked out at the sound the polisher made inside his mouth. Thankfully, we had a very smart dentist who simply brushed his teeth the normal way and showed him how. On the next visit, the polisher was discussed, listened to felt and reintroduced very slowly.

Just wondered if there was a trigger noise or smell or something that maybe is causing the problem.

Does he feel like he's gagging? Maybe they can tilt the chair back less? Is his mouth abnormally small and a hand in there feels like a gag?

Just things I've encountered a long the way. Hopefully, this will resolve itself as he gets bigger.

[dspakowsky]

My youngest does that for ALL dentist / doctor visits. She attacked me the last two times, biting my leg, then runs into the corner like a hunted animal, screaming, yelling, and hysterically crying. She hyperventilates, throw's up, etc. The poor girl then hates me for a few days afterwards.

I'm done. I just can't do it any more. We just got a notice it's time or her bi-annual cleaning, and I told my husband no. Little E has been through 2 surgeries and numerous doctor visits, so I know where this stems from. My oldest thinks it's "fun" to go to the doctor / dentisit.

I have no advice... I just wanted to say you're not alone. I'm sad just thinking about it...

[cheychey]

My son was like this for years. We were kicked out of dentist after dentist. I finally found a dentist that would work with us. He suggested for us to get his family doctor to prescribe a sedative for him since he felt it was a true fear. We, of course, refused to medicate him. Then on one visit, there was a new hygenist and she gave him a mirror so he could watch. That was all it took, so everytime he goes to the dentist he gets a mirror so he can watch them work on his teeth.

I'm not sure if it will help, but you may want to give it a try. It could be just a fear of the unknown, since he can't see what they are doing in his mouth.

Good Luck

[JustBarbara]

Ach - the poor sweet bairn! I cannot imagine having to hold my child down like that - I just can't though I haven't taken DS to the dentist yet. I like the idea of him having a mirror to see what is happening - and also for the slow introduction to the polisher. I agree -- have your DH take him next time.

[angelstamper]

After meeting Elijah this weekend, I'm soooo surprised. He was so happy and inquizative (sp) about everything.

Benedryl knocks Joseph out (found out from an infection - dr recommendation, so no flames please). Maybe you could see how Elijah reacts to it. And one other thought - don't most ped dentist have some sort of laughing gas on hand? Thought I saw it on TV once. The other advise sounds great too.

Good luck!!!

[elielio]

I am a dentist and you never know how the children react. They can be great one visit and horrible the next or visa versa. I would have the DDS prescribe a mild sedative like valium. It relaxes the children and they usually do great. I have one family where the father is an anesthesiolgist and he premedicated her both times I had to extract teeth for ortho. She didn't even remember coming into see us. ( I think that was a little overdone). As for laughing gas, it works well but most kids get more scared when you try to put a mask on them even though you describe it in a nice way.

If you live in Michigan, one of my hygenists is GREAT with children. She sings silly songs to them and I don't think she ever has had too big of a problem with any child.

Good luck and hang in there. Your child should eventually work through their anxiety.

[w8ting4Thomas]

OK I will admit to being an adult with a HUGE dental phobia. Amazingly I have no cavities and I DO go every 6-8 months (I usu procrastinate until my Type A personality kicks in and makes me go at month 8!).

I had awful baby teeth (crooked). 6 baby teeth pulled for some reason that I don't even remember and 4 permanent teeth pulled for braces. The ped dentist would hit me on the arm if I cried and yelled. He never let my mom come back with me. To this day I detest that man, Dr. Dubrow.

Be patient. I am taking DS, Thomas, every 6 months at this age JUST to get him in a chair and getting used to it so he doesn't experience anything like I did. And I will NEVER leave him alone until he can clearly tell me what is going on and that he is ok. Our dentist knows about my phobia and is very understanding to work with me to make sure I don't give Thomas the heebies about going for a cleaning!!!!

So...long answer...if you are someone with a fear it is hard. Hang in there and be creative!

[drjeanne]

I'm a dentist too and I agree with the lady that said she was letting her DH take their child the next time. Sometimes it's just what the child knows they can get away with with Mom! They think Mom will feel sorry for them and not force them to get their teeth cleaned or anything else done if they cry and struggle. Also, if you're going to a dentist who is caring and that you trust, you might try allowing Elijah to choose if he wants to go back alone or not. In our office we have a long hallway with operatories only on one side and in a row so, we can leave our waiting room door open and allow parents to roam the hallway and watch/listen to their child and not be seen. This way their child is able to feel like they're doing it on their own and Mom feels secure knowing she's there should anything go awry. At age 4 children are usually trying to be independent and do better when Mom waits in the waiting room. They like knowing they can do something "big" girls and boys do! You should ask your dentist about possibly doing this before your next visit and yes, please role play with your child and talk positively about the dentist! It can and should be a positive experience for your child! Dentistry has changed so much in the past 15 years! Preventive care is wonderful and the things we can do these days......hopefully, one day noone will have to afraid anymore.

Best of luck whatever you decide to try!
Jeanne

[mommytoEli]

both of my middle boys are this way. but every time they go, they do a little something more. both of them went through the stage where they would not do xrays, but they would let them clean their teeth. one time, eli only let them clean his teeth, but he wouldn't even open up for the dentist. i kind of let them do what they feel comfortable with each visit....and for them, i think it is has made them feel more in control of what is going on, and they are less scared. ds middle just turned 5. this last time we went, the hygenist just called him and said it was time for xrays, and he just went! he told me not to come! lol. when he came back, his teeth were clean and xray'd, and they said he was perfect! lol. my rationale for doing the slow child guided pace was i really wanted them to not see the dentist as scary....so quite frankly, i didn't care if not everything got done, as long as we were working towards that. eli went to the dentist for the third time (at 2 1/2) a few months ago. he would not let them do the xrays, typical, but he let them clean his teeth AND let the dentist inspect them. and he didn't cry this time! i think we are slowly moving towards getting everthing done each time we go.

that's just what has worked for us. and not for all of our kids, because i have a dd that between the ages of 8-11 had to have laughing gas at nearly every appointment! everyone is different!

don't give up! try a few things until you find something that works for you guys! good luck!

[052001]

When my daughter was little, I would sit in the dentist chair and she would sit on my lap. It made her feel more comfortable and eventually I could just sit in a chair next to her.

[WJarman]

I took Ahren for the first time last week. I knew it would be hard becasue he is terrified of anyone who looks evenly vaguely doctor-ish. Our dentist is great and very good with kids. The idea of this first visit was just to let him watch his sister get her teeth cleaned, sit in the chair, and maybe open his mouth to look inside. Nothing more. Now I will stop by every once in a while with him so that the office becomes familiar. I will take him with me to have my teeth cleaned and let him sit on my lap as they do it. We also play dentist at home. Hopefully, in 6 months or so, we will be able to have a successful dental visit for him. Until then we will continue building up his trust and understanding of the situation.