[susy...patience]

Hi, my DD has been home for almost 5 months and I start back to work part-time in November. She is going to go to a day care center very near my job. They seem great (I have friends with babies there) but day care isn't happy that at 19 months she still drinks milk from bottle. Actually my DD can drink unassisted from an open cup. She has never been a fan of sippy cups but we use them when away from house. She was drinking about 5 bottles a day when she came home from Guatemala and now I have her down to about 3.....one when she wakes up before breakfast, one to help her go to sleep at naptime, and one to help her go to sleep at night. I know some people believe in breaking from bottle but I see it as comfort device.

I was able to talk day care into letting her have a sippy cup to help her take a nap. They let people bring pacificers and I made an analogy to that -- but director told me it would create riot to have bottle in toddler room. To help DD get ready, I have been banishing all bottles in daytime for a few days (while still having get up & go to bed one). Earlier this week she wouldn't take a nap at all without one so she just fell asleep in car later on in day. For last 2 days, I have tried to tire her out before naptime and then offered her milk in a sippy cup and told her it was time to take nap. Yesterday she cried for about 15+ minutes (with me at her side) and basically cried herself to sleep. Today she asked repeatedly for the bottle although I was again offering sippys of milk (2 different kinds of sippys today) and cried for a few minutes before falling asleep for nap.

Any advice on how I am doing this?
Do I just need to hang in there and keep trying?

[guatparents2be]

We actually decided that a daycare that wouldn't let our son have a bottle wasn't the daycare for us. I think it is presumptive to assume a bottle would cause a 'riot' and truly this is a special circumstance. I would have a meeting with the center owners and directors and explain. It seems to me, personally, especially if you're going back to work that your child should be able to have a bottle.

I know I might get flamed for this but I would not budge on this issue...

[DPline]

Originally Posted by guatparents2be

We actually decided that a daycare that wouldn't let our son have a bottle wasn't the daycare for us. I think it is presumptive to assume a bottle would cause a 'riot' and truly this is a special circumstance. I would have a meeting with the center owners and directors and explain. It seems to me, personally, especially if you're going back to work that your child should be able to have a bottle.

I know I might get flamed for this but I would not budge on this issue...

I totally agree!

Good luck!

[Clare'sMom]

Originally Posted by guatparents2be

We actually decided that a daycare that wouldn't let our son have a bottle wasn't the daycare for us. I think it is presumptive to assume a bottle would cause a 'riot' and truly this is a special circumstance. I would have a meeting with the center owners and directors and explain. It seems to me, personally, especially if you're going back to work that your child should be able to have a bottle.

I know I might get flamed for this but I would not budge on this issue...

I agree too! Stand firm, Mom rules when it comes to an issue like this.....EXP for a child that has only been home a few months. Explain your issue and if they will not follow YOUR instrucation, find some other daycare. This is your child and YOU make the rules!

I am so sorry this is happening... Ann

[DeeVee]

Originally Posted by guatparents2be

We actually decided that a daycare that wouldn't let our son have a bottle wasn't the daycare for us. I think it is presumptive to assume a bottle would cause a 'riot' and truly this is a special circumstance. I would have a meeting with the center owners and directors and explain. It seems to me, personally, especially if you're going back to work that your child should be able to have a bottle.

I know I might get flamed for this but I would not budge on this issue...

Agree wholeheartedly. And I seriously doubt that there would be a riot in the toddler room. I have seen daycares where one child may have a binky, one may have a bottle, one may have a lovey, whatever they need for naptime - no riots.

[jbpollock]

Wow I have not posted in awhile due to a lack of time with two toddlers but I tried to keep up with everyone when I get the chance. Your post struck a nerve with me because we had so many issues with daycares .. argh! I feel your pain. The bottom line is YOU are her Mom and YOU decide what is best for her. We actually had a daycare that withheld the bottle from our son (but never told us)for the same reason ... they did not feel it was necessary. The only reason I found out was because I stopped in at nap time to see how it was going. He was laying there with his eyes closed crying, clutching his blanket. They told me at 16 months they felt the bottle was more for me and my comfort than for him. This was after they continued to teach him sign language when we were trying to teach him English words. My solution was to become a SAHM and open my own daycare. I am extremely sensitive to what my parents want, no matter what I personally think. You tell them to do what you think is best for your daughter. I am not sure they understand these little ones have had so much transition and change to deal with that maye a simple constant such as a bottle is comfort to your daughter.
Best of luck to you!!

[Devora]

If you do use that daycare then you definitely need to educate them about international adoption and the lengthy transition process. I would suggest skimming through Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best to see if a chapter from it would be particularly useful (with perhaps a few choice passages highlighted) or look at the articles on transitions on the website Informed Adoption Advocates and see if there's a good article there. They need to understand that your child is not in a typical situation.

On the flip side, your child might be okay at daycare with a bottle. Some kids do fine in other places because they recognize that a lot of things there are different than at home so she may just figure that's how it's done there and go with it. You won't know unless you try it, unfortunately.

[c.a]

If you do decide to stay with that daycare - have you tried the Nuby sippy cups?? They have very soft tip and are a lot like a bottle. We used the Nuby's when we transitioned our son from a bottle.

Good luck.

[jpeel99]

Has she already started daycare?

I completely understand why you are worried, but I can honestly say that everything I was worried about my son (not being able to do), went fine at daycare. I felt that they were always pushing him to the next and next and next milestone, but they all just do what the other kids are doing.

When my son moved to the toddler room (18 months old), he had to drink out of a regular cup with water only. I thought that he would never get anything to drink. We also had our little naptime rituals, and he never does them at school. He was still in a crib, at the time, and they told me that he would be sleeping on the floor on a mat. I again thought....he'll never do this. There was no problem there either.

My advise is to see how things go. You might just be surprised what she needs or doesn't need. They will develop their own routines and habits at school. We just learned to work around those.



Good luck!!!!

[michelemk]

Just as you have the right to decide what is best for your child, they have the right to say "No bottles in the toddler room."

I think you should probably search for another day care that fits better with your parenting style and choices. JMO!

Michele

[susy...patience]

Thanks for the advice so far.....my little girl hasn't started at day care yet. It starts in early November.

Today she took a regular length nap but still woke up crying for her ba-ba (what she calls her bottle).

[humanpitchpipe]

You have only been a family for five months. A five month old would still get a bottle. Only after my son was home for a year did I even think about dropping the nap and nighttime bottle because it too was such a source of comfort for him. There are times now when DS will still get a bottle for comfort.

[JoshGuat]

Instead of changing your lifestyle to fit the daycare, is there a way that you could find a daycare or private child care near your home that would accommodate your beliefs? If so, you would not have to compromise what you want for your child. If not, I would push the issue with the current daycare.

[guatparents2be]

Originally Posted by humanpitchpipe

You have only been a family for five months. A five month old would still get a bottle. Only after my son was home for a year did I even think about dropping the nap and nighttime bottle because it too was such a source of comfort for him. There are times now when DS will still get a bottle for comfort.

this is the important thing here.

sure she might be fine with it, or adjust to it, but in my very personal opinion, we only get one time to do this attachment thing...

[mommytoEli]

hang in there.

my opinion on the daycare is this...if they can get her to take a nap without one, more power to them! but i'd want to know what their back up plan is when she starts cryin g. how long will they let her cry? what other things will they do to soothe her. if their plan is to let her cio...i'd think that would be unacceptable...and create much more riot than a bottle...but that is just mho.