[Larue]

Hi Guatemala forum friends. We’re in the midst of the paper chase for our next adoption, which will be from Nepal this time. Oh, how I missed this crazy rollercoaster ride. OK, actually…Not!

We have the first interview with our social worker for our homestudy next week. And I am SOOOOOOOOO strressed. Do you guys have any advice?! Before we were a childless couple, but now they’ll be scrutinizing our parenting skills. Or lack there of. DH and I are “seasoned” parents, as in age, but in fact we’re actually total rookies as parents. We basically wing it most of the time. Sabrina doesn’t seem to suffer from it. But then, she’s a trooper. DH and I just spent tonight having a tea party with her, and her stuffed animals. Hopefully the social worker will find that amusing.

The gist of it is….I have spent so many years trying to be a mother, and knowing that someone is going to judge whether or not I CAN have another child or not, well really scares me. Any advice to share?! Or funny stories about your home study experiences?! Would really love to hear them. Thanks guys!

p.s. As always, praying for everyone in this crazy process.

[lzriggles]

Hi Laura,

Just a note of reassurance to say that you have NOTHING to worry about! I did a stint for a year serving on the board of the homestudy agency that helped me with my first adoption and really came to understand that they truly want to approve you. They are looking for reasons to say "yes" rather than the other way around. The director of the agency said something like: "We don't look for folks who will be perfect parents, we look for folks who will be good enough parents!"

I adopted my 2nd daughter from Guatemala last year and on the first home visit from a new social worker I'd never met before both children whined and cried for most of the visit. The SW asked at one point if I wanted to reschedule. I was sure I was getting all kinds of black marks. (As an aside, my older daughter ended up at the emergency room later that night with an ear infection which then explained why she was so inconsolable!) Anyway, I seemed to pass the Mom test ok and got a favorable report in the end.

I know you and your DH will do great. All of your posts about the journey of attachment with Sabrina is such a testament to what wonderful parents you are...and will be to the next sweetie pie on his way to your family!

Best wishes!
Liz

[ana-mom]

Laura -

When we had our homestudy interview for J, the social worker just checked for safety issues (which I am sure you have covered with Sabrina in the house). They also checked to be sure Ana was current on ped appointments and immunizations. Other than that, they just sat and talked to us and viewed Ana's interactions with us.

You will all do beautifully!

So excited for you.

[DPline]

At our first meeting with the social worker, she asked my son (age 4) what he thought of a brother or sister. He told her what he really wanted was 10 kitties and marched out of the room. We were still approved after that less than steller beginning.

You will be fine!!

[dovelu]

I am so excited for you! I will pray for your meeting, but I know that it will go beautifully. Maybe we are just blessed with an amazing social worker, but I always get the feeling that ours actually wants to help, etc. I tell her my fears, concerns, etc. I no longer feel (after 2 adoptions) the need to impress her. I am just myself. I clean up a bit, and then I'm pretty honest. In fact, I am looking forward to our 3 year follow-up soon! I'm sure that you are an amazing parent. And my hunch is that any decent social worker will sense that in a heartbeat.

Peace,

Amy

[JustBarbara]

Oh Laura - you will be just fine, really. They will just want to see that your place is safe, that you and DH and Sabrina are relatively happy and healthy. And yes, regale the SW with the tea party story and that the 'whole' family participated. You will not have any problems. You know that children don't need a lot of things - food, shelter, clothing and a loving, safe home. Good luck in your journey to Nepal!

[Mandy4President]

Laura!!! From Nepal!!! How AWESOME!! Tell us all about it! I've never heard of anyone adopting from there. What's the process like????

Please woman, you're going to do great. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Just make sure you don't tell them about all those times you were arrested and you'll be fine

[Ms.Judi]

Laura-First Congratultions on your next adoption journey!! I am so excited for you and DH. Second-You have nothing to worry about-you are a fabulous parent to Sabrina and the SW will see that. Just relax and have a good time. let us know how it goes. HUGS!!!

[KMatthews]

Laura first CONGRATS!!!
You will be just fine your an awsome Mama!!!
Please keep us updated on your new journey.

[cbmstephanie]

You have nothing to worry about or stress over. If you tell your social worker that you spent time in a tea party with your daughter that should be the end of the homestudy and she should put a big pink...FANTASTIC PARENTS!...on her final evaluation. I don't know any parent that doesn't wing it most of the time. In fact, if you are able to wing it, it's proof that you can go with the flow and handle anything those little people hand out! And we all know they give us a lot to handle!!

Try to stay sane and don't stress! You're awesome! Your husband knows it, your daughter knows it and if the social worker has a stitch of sense she will know it too!!

[DeeVee]

Laura, you and Stefan are GREAT parents! Anyone will be able to see that; please don't worry.

Our second homestudy was done by the same social woker that was doing Carolina's post-placement visits, so she already knew us and I wasn't nervous, but I can imagine you are a little stressed. Another poster mentioned safety stuff - some SWs look for that and some don't (ours didn't) so go through the house and make sure there are no obvious hazards; Sabrina is already 2 1/2, so you probably don't have gates up or anything like that, which they wouldn't expect.

And then when she leaves have a glass of wine

BTW, we all wing it. I may start out the day with an agenda, but try explaining that to my kids

[judymend]

Laura, you will all do just fine!
Do you know why???

Attachment 78839
'CAUSE YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We Love You Laura, You Are In Our Prayers So That Those Nerves Settle Down And That Your Process in Nepal Is A Smooth, A Beautiful Journey To Your Next Child!!! Blessings!

[Disneycrazed]

WOW...
I remember reading about everything you went through with your first adoption. If that doesn't prove what a great Mommy you are I don't know what does. You Went through so much and what a wonderful job you did. And I'm sure you continue to do becuase your little angel looks so healthy and adorable.
You ARE a great Mommy and that will shine through!!!!
No one is perfect... we just love our children, protect them and support them. You will fly right through!!!!!!

[JosieWales]

Is this the SAME Laura I met and had wine w/??? You better know darn well you're a good mommy...and that we all wing it like crazy! So excited for you and your new adoption plan!! Keep us posted or else

[SaraAvaandLileesMama]

Laura, I just want congratulate you on adopting again! I will say a prayer for you all that it goes smoothly and that the Lord will give you peace!