[humanpitchpipe]

DS (22 months) has been hitting out of frustration now for the last month or so. He started out with biting me and I was able to stop that. Then it turned into hitting (just me) and I have not been able to stop it. Recently, he has started hitting others in frustration. I have tried saying "No, be gentle." in a very stern voice, but it doesn't work. I have also tried acting like I was very hurt, but that hasn't worked either. I am thinking about time out, but how do you do that? He rarely sits still, so expecting him to sit in a time out chair/spot is ridiculous. Do you sit with them in time out? I have also thought about setting up a time out area using baby gates. Any other suggestions? Or am I totally off in thinking that time out will work?

[Slatond10]

My DD was a biter and hitter @ that age. They do grow out of it. But I know that doesn't help w/ what you are going thru now!

With my DD, it was mostly about communication and expressing it. Time out didn't work. The best solution was to give her a way to express herself. I gave her signs to use and then places where she was allowed to yell (garage) and hit (playroom w/ stuffed animals) and something she could bite (teething ring).

It is OK to have the emotions, she just needed a better outlet than her friends.

Hugs, you'll need it to cope.

[JillnChris]

I have a hitter as well. I was suprised to find out that she actually will sit still for a time out. I only have her sit there for a minute and a half. Another thing you could try is time in. That is where you have them sit with you on your lap. Or you could just say "No, no hit" put him down and turn your back. Then after a few seconds turn back around and resume whatever you two were doing. This hasn't worked for me, but every kid is different!

[BeverlyZ]

I haven't logged in forever it seems, but I did today TO ASK ABOUT NEARLY THE SAME ISSUE!!!

Glad to hear that he will outgrow it eventually

[melissa41]

Same issue here with a 23 month old. This is actually the 2nd time we are going through this. The first time was about 17 months and we moved so lots of changes. Now he has started again. We use "gentle" alot. He learned this word from the first episode but of course during his fit he doesn't want to be gentle. When my son hits or is about to hit, I tell him in a stern voice"no hit mommy" I also say "you can hit the _______ "and say sofa, chair, whatever we are near. He actually will hit those items and I will praise him for that but sometimes he hits those items and me too so after the first stern warning if he hits me again, I pick him up and say "no hit mommy" again and take him to the time out mat. My son will sit on the "time out" spot for about 10 seconds-30 seconds and then he is up. Most of the time though he will come to me and gently rub my face and I tell him that is nice and I like it when he is sweet, etc. He does know what he is there for and he does know how he is suppose to act. Even though he is not sitting long, I think just the act of doing the same thing each time reinforces what he is doing wrong and then we talk about how to do it right and we hug, etc. Also, he has usually forgotten what he is upset about in the first place.

I look forward to others experiences as well.

[guatparents2be]

i am not a fan of time-out for little ones. i don't think they can really understand.

julian was hitting around that age too. i told him "i see that you're angry (or frustrated or whatever) and won't let you hit my body, it hurts. if you're angry you can stomp your feet, like this..." and then i show him. he does it on his own now. occassionally he'll reach out to 'hit' me but he never makes contact, he just swings in the air to let me know he's mad.

the exception is if i pick him up aggressively to get him away from something without saying "that's not safe i'm going to pick you up" or "that is hurting the kitty i'm going to pick you up". he will hit then...but i'd probably be mad too if someone just moved me without telling me why. right?



also the book hands are not for hitting is great. there is a toddler and an older kids version so make sure to get the toddler one.

remember, usually kids aren't hitting out of malice but out of (very reasonable) frustration.

good luck!

[stacytoadopt]

Karen Katz has a book too that my DD still quotes. Don't hit mommy, but you can hit a drum. Don't kick the puppy, but you can kick a ball.

Guess I can quote it too I think it was called No Biting. A lift the flap book.

[2xaround]

Our dd is almost 18 months and a hitter. We've taught her "be nice" by taking our hands and rubbing her arms or leg gently and giving her kisses. Most of the time when she hits we can say "be nice" and she'll repeat "ni," rub our arm or leg and then kiss our arm or leg. If she is really, really frustrated about something and "be nice" doesn't work, we find something to distract her which seems to work well right now.

[happygmom]

Originally Posted by 2xaround

Our dd is almost 18 months and a hitter. We've taught her "be nice" by taking our hands and rubbing her arms or leg gently and giving her kisses. Most of the time when she hits we can say "be nice" and she'll repeat "ni," rub our arm or leg and then kiss our arm or leg. If she is really, really frustrated about something and "be nice" doesn't work, we find something to distract her which seems to work well right now.

My family uses a similar technique. We gently take the hitting hand in one hand and say "we love gentle pat-pats" and gently pat-pat the baby's hand on our cheek. We kiss the baby's hand while we stroke the baby's cheek with the other hand and say again "we love gentle pat-pats". Sometimes we need to repeat it a few times.

G'Ma

[Tiggysgirl]

I think part of it is the age, because I hear a lot of mom's with kids around 18m-24m say the same thing. For us, time out DOES help. At first I thought the same as you ... he'll NEVER sit there. I take him to a little alcove we have and I stand behind him ... usually for about a minute. Then he hugs me (or daddy). I can usually say, "do you need a time out?" and he'll say "no" and more often than not stop whatever it is he's doing that I'm not happy with.

As for hitting, we've had a hard time with it too, but I tell him, "ouch, no hit mommy, be nice" and then he'll pat me gently. We were having language frustration, but that's gotten much better and he does use signs, but, little kids still get frustrated and don't always know how to let it out! Glad for some new ideas!