[AdoptAmiga]

I've been lucky and have been (mostly) spared unkind/stupid comments for the last 7 years or so, but this is driving me bonkers.

DS's name is Carlos. The school secretary insists on referring to him as "Charles". I have repeatedly said to her face, "His name is Carlos, not Charles. He does not know the name Charles and if you call him that he will not respond. Carlos. C-A-R-L-O-S". Sheesh!

Now mind you, it's not a difficult and/or unusual name to say and pronounce. BTW, the school's population is about 25% Latino, so I highly doubt he's the first Carlos (or Jose or Luis) to walk through the doors!!

Let's say I did get off to a bad start with this woman. At registration, she looked at me at said "Grandma??" (grrr.... ). Then later said "How do you say this last name? It's so long." Mind you, we have a very common 4 short syllable Latino surname. You pronounce it the way it is written. Hey lady, I grew up in a Polish neighborhood where multi syllable surnames never sounded the way they were spelled!!

Well, that's my rant for the day. Anyone else have this "problem"????

[giovanni7460]

My 5 year old is Giovanni. Everyone calls him "G". Now Antonio went to the Peds the other day. A nurse called him Tony. I said his name is Antonio. She called him Anthony. I said no its Antonio. She said OK Tony time to get on the scale. I laughed to myself thinking where did that fiesty Italian chick I used to be go? Cause in my better days it wouldnt have ended with Tony. Oh and yes I have been asked if I was his granny.
PAtty

[DPline]

Oh that is just nuts!

I think you already know my story, but anyway . . . Daniel's birth name was Julio. We always intended to change it because my other two had 'American sounding' names and didn't want him to stand out. (We did change my daughter's name but her birth name was 'American' already. We just didn't care for it.)

At the time he came home our county inforced a six month waiting period to do a name change. In the months before his name change was complete, I swear that every single person in places where his legal name was listed for insurance reasons (doctor's office, dentist's office, attorney's office, etc.) called him Jewel-E-O! These for the most part were college educated, professional adults! We don't live in the most diverse area, but come on!

BTW, you most definetly do NOT look like you could be your children's grandmother and your last name is NOT difficult! It is definetly her!

[WVUMom418]

Mia's birthname was Darlin (pronounced Darleen) we decided that she probably would be made fun of in the states and never pronounced correctly so we changed her name to Mia. Wouldn't you know half the people at the dr and other places like that call her Maya (M eye ah).

My bio daughter's name is Gabrielle, and she's constantly called Gabriel (the boys version). I didn't think Gabrielle was a unusual name.

[AdoptAmiga]

Thanks for the support ladies!

This same women called the house a couple weeks back asking about some form. She said "I'm calling about (whatever it was) needed for Charles....." I said, "Sorry, you must have the wrong parent. I do not have a child named Charles." She said, "Isn't this the (butchered name) residence?" I said "This is the _______ residence and if this concerns CARLOS, then you have the correct parent".

Goodness. I taught in farming/AA/Middle Eastern communities with a fair share of unusual (to me) names. Can't people who deal daily with the public be respectful?

[sfalone]

Well we kept Dulce's birth name so you can just imagine the funny looks I have gotten over the past 2 months at doctors offices, daycare, etc!

Stacy

[CaddoRose]

Stacy, I love the name Dulce. It's unusal and very pretty.

My name is Celia and people are constantly saying Cecelia or completely butchering it. How hard is it to say a name the why it's spelled? I get Sela, Ke-lia(hard K sound), Cia, etc, but very rarely does anyone say Celia.

I think some people try to shorten the name on kids in an effort to have some familiarity with them as though they knew them. I really hate that. Not every kid named James is called Jim or Jimmy and certainly there is no way to get Charles out of Carlos!

[Devora]

Have you thought about talking with someone at the school about the situation? If she's doing this to you consistently then she's probably doing it to others as well. I think you can raise the issue in a polite, constructive way by emphasizing that:

- You know the school wants to be a welcoming place for families.
- You appreciate how in other ways the school is very respectful of parents and children.
- And so you are concerned that the secretary's refusing to call your son by his name even after she has been corrected multiple times is working against the school's attempts to be a welcoming community.

She may just not be the brightest tack in the box. Or this could be a passive-aggressive way of making people she perceives as "others" or "outsiders" feel uncomfortable. Either way, someone needs to know the messages/tone she is setting for the school. She is probably the person that parents and the public have the most frequent contact with so she is an important representative of the school.

[angelstamper]

I have spent my whole life correcting people about the pronounciation of my name and understandably so.

My fourth grade teacher refused to call me Andrea. She instisted on pronouncing it Ondrea. After I corrected her several times she actually had the nerve to say, "I'm just saying it in a more sophisticated way."

When I told my parents, my dad went through the roof (very uncharaterstic for him) and took me to school the next day. He had words with her and when she bucked him, he told her that I now had his permission to mispronouce her last name or for that matter call her by her first name. If she couldn't respect me and the name my family had given me then I didn't need to respect her on the same terms. That was the end of that and she never mispronounced my name again.

It is one thing to have your name mispronounced one or two times, but the lack of respect this lady is giving you and your son is nothing less than rude. I'd take it up with her superior, or resort to my dad's way and start calling her something off the wall then ask her how it feels.

Good luck!

[MamaS]

I think Devora got it -- it is passive-aggressive hostility toward those whose names (and appearance) are not "American".
In our school system we started having an increase of Hispanics. The school system tried to be proactive, hiring secretaries and receptionists who spoke Spanish. The secretary in our school had been there since about 1940. She was very dismissive of the new bilingual requirements. One day as we were struggling to enroll some children whose parents spoke no English I commented that it would help if someone in the office could speak to them in their language. "I can speak enough Spanish for them" she announced. And then addressed the parents with "Hola, Adios, Taco Bell and La Cucaracha to you!" I notified the principal that she was calling our Hispanic parents cockroaches and we had a bilingual office aide two weeks later.

[krafmatic]

[quote=WVUMom418}

My bio daughter's name is Gabrielle, and she's constantly called Gabriel (the boys version). I didn't think Gabrielle was a unusual name.[/quote]

LOL!

Gabe (Gabriel) was at the dermatologist today and they called out "Gabrielle". The nurse quickly realized when Gabe trotted around the cornernot looking in any way like a girl.

[JoshGuat]

I think I would go over her head and talk to someone at the school. Such disrespect!! She is flaunting her ( little )authority at you and abusing the little power that she has. Shame on her, I would take it to the next level, and that would put her in her place.

Sorry to hear that you have to listen to such non-sense at school.

You said you didn't get to a right start with her, well the way I see it-that it would have been inevitable if she has that attitude. Nothing on your part

[kvondera]

We had that issue with our Julio before we did a name change. Imagine getting a phone call from the doctor's office wanting to talk about "JULIA'S" circumcision!!!
We have also had the problem with one of our daughter's names and how people pronounce it. It is Elisabeta ( Romanian version of Elisabeth) Not hard, just a ta at the end instead of the th-- but you wouldn't believe how people butcher that. Or, they say Elisa as her first name and Beta as her last name.
Or, she has gotten called Beth too.
I have always told her to politely correct someone if they have trouble pronouncing her name. And to be proud of it!

[Waiting4Zach]

My son's birth name is Anibal (A knee val) and of course no one can pronounce that. Alot of times they pronounce it "Anniebelle". I am in the process of readoption and changing his name to Zach. I can't wait!!

[dspakowsky]

Yes! My daughters name is Carolina - Kahr-o-lee-nah. I love her name that way. If she wants to go by something different, she can decide that when she is older. That fact that the woman continues to say your sons name wring is very rude.