[Pudding]

Okay my DS (two years old) keeps having nightmares. He ends up walking up the whole family and is grouchy the next day (along with everyone else). Last night DH was handling it. Not so well either. He does not have the patience or the compassion to handle a screaming child in the middle of the night. I told him that I would go up there and take care of it but oh no he jumps out of bed, stomps up the stairs and proceeds to yell at the baby. Of course the baby just yells louder and whole thing escalates. As you can imagine I was none to happy with DH. Anyway I am in desperate need of ideas to help with my sons nightmares as they have been happening on and off for about six months. I suggested that we get him a toddler bed and let him sleep in his sisters room since he may be scared of sleeping by himself but of course my husband thinks that is a crazy idea since my daughter has finally started sleeping very well herself. His fear is that it may disturb her. My DH will have no part of him sleeping in our bed so that is not an option. Ideas! I need ideas! Things that may have worked for you guys no matter how ridiculous. Help!

Beth

[AnaRegina]

I think I could have written this myself.....I would love to hear what you all have to say. My daughter is almost 2.5 and having the nightmares, screaming at night and my DH and I are at constant battles about whether she can sleep with us or not. I think it's okay, he is totally against it....

Looking forward to the replies.

Shelly

[Justhavfaith]

Don't know if this will help or not but, my DS has had night terrors now for about a year and he is 2.5 AND we co-sleep. I don't want to discourage you but, sleeping in your bed may not help at all.

The one thing that has helped dramatically for us is that when he wakes up screaming, we move him from the bed to the floor gently. This is mostly so that he will not hurt himself by throwing his body off from the bed or running into things and full-tilt trying to get away from the invisible scary things. I sit on the floor next to him and make sure that I say over and over "mommy is here". It only takes a few minutes for him to feel the floor and "wake up". He then gives me a hug and asks to go back to bed. He only loses about 10 minutes sleep total and the terrors have become less and less. It may be that he is outgrowing them or it may have to do with the quick resolution to them now. Don't know that it will work for your child but, it has made our lives much easier.

[cmfayz]

Matthew is 3 and has nightmares a few times a month. I go in his room, pick him up and sit with him for 5-10 minutes. I rock him in his chair and tell him it's going to be ok. I, too, am against bringing him in our bed, and so far the sitting with him has worked. Good luck!

[JustBarbara]

Are you sure your son is actually awake and not still asleep? I only ask because DS had night-terrors and most of the time was asleep. I would gently rub his back - in silence - and he seemed to calm down. Sometimes, he wakes up crying and is awake - and when I go into his room he is standing - arms outstretched with a "mama" wail. If it is less than 2 hours before wake-up time I will lift him up and put him in my bed - again, not a word is spoken. I pretend I am asleep and he just falls right back to sleep. If it's more than 2 hours I will gently help him lie down and rub his back - sometimes if seems particularly distressed I am patting him on the back and he seems to find comfort and goes to sleep. I don't want to get into a habit of co-sleeping because really, he's the only one who gets decent sleep - I get the legs kicked in the ribs, stomach, sleepy hand slammed against my face - all while he's off in la-la lad. Good luck.

Yelling at a crying child ... I can understand that people are tired but perhaps your husband could try the opposite approach and try whispering - that way your son would have to be quiet to hear what your DH is saying? Just a thought.

[SAVeronika]

I don't know if this will help at all, but my 2 1/2 year old (bio) daughter is having a lot of nightmares too. She'll wake up screaming, or not wake up at all and just scream in her sleep. The ONLY thing that has made a noticeable difference is that I don't allow her to watch a lot of TV anymore. She can watch a max of one very mellow, cutesy show a day. NO Disney as all the witches, snakes, dragons and just plain old mean people scare her. She doesn't show any reaction while watching the show, but wakes up a lot during the night. I honestly don't know if it's because of the TV shows or not, but instead of waking up screaming 5 times a night she will wake up once every two or three nights and she calms down and goes back to sleep a lot easier than before.

[angel_bayou]

I'd just try to reassure him when he wakes up and maybe by knowing you're there he'll fall back asleep! It' so hard to function on a lack of sleep so I'll be praying for you guys that a soultion is in sight!! Sending you great big hugs and a good night's sleep!

[Quesita]

No words of wisdom from me. Liana, during her waking hours, is a joyous, delightful child. But her nights are full of both nightmares and night terrors. We cosleep, and I don't think it helps. For the nightmares, she cries and clings to me and I carry her around and hug her, and it takes forever for her to get back to sleep. For the night terrors, she screams wildly, often yelling NO NO NO. BYE. NO! BYE! and flairs her arms and legs and kicks and swats. I just keep pushing her back down gently on the pillow, and soon it is over for her. But the night terrors are harder on me, and it usually takes me forever to get to sleep afterwards.

Liana is the perfect child during the day hours. I cannot imagine what haunts her in her sleep. My sweet baby.

[w8ting4Thomas]

We have been very fortunate having Thomas home and not having to deal with a lot of issues. BUT the one thing he does do about 2 nights/week is cry out in the middle of the night. It is usually not all out screaming and I leave him (unless it continues) and he goes back to sleep.
Is it normal that all children do this (to some extent)? I am bad about blaming any little thing on the fact that he is adopted...what is he remembering...is he grieving - when it could be normal and I need to stop this thought process. Opinions on all of our children and why they do this? None of my stepchildren ever did!

[jpeel99]

This is something that I read a lot about, as my son was waking up screaming. There are night terrors and night mares. When they have a night terror, they usually wake up around 10:00 PM ish. They are not actually awake when they sit up and are easily consoled and put back to bed. They do not remember anything the next day.

A night mare occurs later in the sleep cycle.....may be 1:00 AM or so. They can tell you what made them scared and it takes a while longer to console them.


Both can be normal in boys around 3 - 7 and usually go away.


I found that giving my son sweet things to eat close to bed time aggravates the problem. I don't let him have anything to drink accept water in the evening (no sugary stuff).

I understand frustration, but if your husband yells at your child, I wouldn't allow him to get up with him/her. You go in yourself. I can remember being scared myself as a child and having nightmares. My mom would get up with me. It's part of the while parenting thing. Try talking to your husband a head of time (not during the whole escapade).

Good luck and don't worry.


Also, try leaving a night light on.

[angieandstever]

I could have written this post too. We are going through the exact same thing right now with our 2 year 1 month old daughter. Last night it started at 2 and the right before 5 but the night before at 4. It is not fun and I am really tired as is she. Our daughter has now started sleeping with a night light which I think is making matters worse but that is another topic. She is also insisting on having the door open which keeps her up later because she can hear any and every noise in the house. So, I feel your pain.

Also hubby and I tend to balance each other out in the frustration area. Luckily when one of us is frustrated the other is normally calm and can take over or take care of her. As I am sure you have seen, getting frustrated doesn't help but sometimes in the middle of the night when you are tired it is difficult not to be frustrated!!!! Maybe you and hubby can switch on and off so every night it isn't the same person?

Sorry I am no help but hopefully you will get some good suggestions.

[Pudding]

Thanks so much for all of your responses. I have got a few ideas from all of you. Last night we only allowed the kids to watch one half hour show which was I Carly and not a scary version at all. He slept very well last night. Not a single peep out of him. Perhaps limiting his telelvision might be a top factor in making the nighmares stop. Of course his are indeed nightmares not night terrors. Our daughter Lilly suffered from night terrrors so I have first hand information on that. I usually do beat DH up the steps to take care of him but that was an unusual night. I know that I have more patience and compassion than DH for terrified children in the middle of the night.

Beth

[arthymom]

We have had major sleep issues now since dd came home over a year ago.

Just when I think it's better, it gets worse.

For us, dd wakes up wanting reassurance. Sometimes crying, sometimes just asking for one of us to go into her room and reassure. In our case, dd is fully awake.

If we cosleep (which we don't do often since she is a thumper at night) it doesn't get better.

Based on how many of us are responding with 2 year olds, it sounds as though it's a 2 year old phase that some of our kiddoes are going through. My bio. ds did not go through this. He wasn't a great sleeper, but would only wake up maybe a few times a week instead of dd's a few times a night.

Best,