[waiting4cristo]

Hello all,
I don't usually get a chance to post, but I lurk and read what's going on here. My prayers go out to all of you in the process!

I am in desperate need of sleep ideas for my son who's 3-1/2 (he's been home with us since he was 6 months old). We have a weird situation: we are temporarily in an apartment while we build a house; we've been here 14 months so far, will be here 2 more months. Our daughter came home last December, and is currently 22 months old. They are sharing a bedroom here, but because she's a light sleeper, we have Matty fall asleep in our bed at night, then transfer him to his own bed when I go to bed around 11pm. He had always been an early riser, usually 6-6:30 a.m. I put both down at night around 8:30. For quite awhile, he's been getting up around 4am to climb into bed with us, then sleeps happily til 7 or later. This completely disrupts our sleep, so I've made him a bed on the floor at the end of our bed out of a comforter and pillow. Sometimes this works, sometimes not.

ANYHOO, my biggest problem is this: all of a sudden, starting about 2 months ago, he will NOT let himself fall asleep at night! he is up til close to 10pm every night. At first he went through tantrums and we finally figured out he was scared of the dark. Fine. So we leave a light on for him next to the bed. That worked for about 2 weeks and he fell asleep like a charm. Now we're back to square 1 where he fights closing his eyes with every ounce of energy he has. If he wakes up when I'm transferring him to his bed, he freaks out because there's only a night light on in the kids' room. His freaking out wakes up Lily and then I can't get either of them down without 1 of them in bed with us. If we DO get them settled without a problem, he's still up at 4 trying to get into bed with us. Once he gets settled, he sleeps until 7:30 or later because he's so tired. THEN at daycare he's exhausted and I've had to have them limit his naps to no more than an hour to try to get us out of this cycle.

One other note: when I put him down at home for naps (vs daycare), he fights sleep then too! (again, in our room while Lily's in her crib in their bedroom).

Has ANYONE gone through this? Has anything helped? DOes anyone have any suggestions that we can try? Please? pretty please??????

Thanks in advance for your help....

~Tricia

[w8ting4Thomas]

UGH...I have nothing to say except I am sorry for ALL of you. I know you will get good advice though!!!!!!

[angel_bayou]

Tricia, I feel your pain because my little Olivia does the same thing!! She stays up way late and up and down all night then is a grump all day and is tired I hate to admit a lot of times when she crawls in bed with me I'm so tired at that point that I just let her stay!

[LadyTink]

Gabriella has always been a horrible sleeper, so I feel for you. I wish I had some advice, but unfortunately, we still don't have all our sleep problems solved. If you find something that works, please let me know.

[carolynpep73]

Alas, we are in the same boat as all of you. It is 9:30 and my daughter is doing everything possible to stay awake in her room. SHe'll be 3 next week. I have no advice because nothing I've done has worked. I guess we just have to roll with the punches and hope it works itself out. I'm praying that this will one day manifest itself into tolerance for lack of sleep when she's in medical school Good luck!

[waiting4cristo]

Well, even though there's no advice here (YET! still hoping someone has some magic trick up their sleeve...), it sure helps to know we're not the only ones going through this! Thank you for your support

[ej-momtobe]

Tricia, I could have written that post myself, (except for the part about temp being in an apartment). DS does the exact same thing. We have tried everything. Our best idea was playing a CD of lullabys in his room, on a 60 minute timer when he goes to bed. That was pretty effective for about a month. He also comes into our room...sometimes will just sleep on a mat on the floor and sometimes cries and cries to get in our bed, until one of us lays down in his bed with him to get him back to sleep.

We have lots of different things, but have not stumbled on the answer. DH thinks its a power struggle and we should not give in and lie down with him, but we need sleep too and even if we didn't i would not let him cry for a few hours without comforting him.

i will be watching this thread to see if anyone has the magic answer.

[KJones5]

We're in this boat too with our 3 YO. He fights going to sleep and we've not been able to figure out how to turn that around. We're getting resistant at night and at nap time. He's also a kid who needs his sleep.

I am hoping that someone has some great suggestions and tips!

[Larue]

I would recommend reading the book "the no-cry sleep solution - for toddlers and preschoolers". There are a lot of tips in the book about weaning children from needing mom and dad to help them fall asleep. Some of the tips include beginning the bedtime routine earlier, and creating a consistent routine and a "cozy" sleep environment. I love the book because there is no judgment. Sometimes letting them nap in the middle of the floor in the family room, and just throwing a blanket over them, is what works. And whatever works, well, works.

As far as the co-sleeping. I wouldn’t worry about it either. Sabrina has co-slept with us, on and off, for the past 1.5 years since she has been home. When she is frightened, or sick, and needs reassurance and comfort from us. Well, to me, that’s what I’m here for. Isn’t it?! When our first Pediatrician talked about how children should learn to “self-sooth”, considering everything Sabrina has been through in her short little life, I cringed. And we promptly looked for another Pediatrician. And found someone with experience in IA.

I know sleep issues are tough. But it WILL get better. Sabrina now goes to bed promptly at 8:00 p.m., and sleeps for about 10 - 11 hours. And naps 1 - 2 hours after lunch. As long as we follow the routine. She needs the routine. We have also recently begun modifying her diet. As in limiting sugar. What a difference that makes.

Sleep issues are tough. But things will improve with time. Hang in there!

[waiting4cristo]

Originally Posted by Larue

I would recommend reading the book "the no-cry sleep solution - for toddlers and preschoolers".

Thanks Laura - I'll be picking that up today! I also have 'Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child" which has had good tips for multiple other scenarios, but only about a paragraph on this one.

ej - your situation sounds rougher than ours as far as how long the crying will last and I don't like OUR situation - I'm sorry! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is a (short!) phase for all of us, because as I tell my son, "if Mommy doesn't get any sleep, we have Crabby Mommy Day," let alone the fact it's just not good for him.

~Tricia

[mkinzie]

I agree with the above posts about a consistent night
time routine. We had this problem with DD after vacation. She was used to sleeping in the hotel room with us and didn't want to go to bed by herself. I tried everything and nothing was working. What finally worked was a string of lights on a timer. Mine are butterflies. When the butterflies are on, she knows it's nighttime and she has to go to bed. We start the bed time routine when they come on. By the time we're finished she's ready to go to bed. I also laminated a picture of DH, DD and I for her to take to bed. She falls asleep each night holding it. We just came back again from vacation and she had no problems going back to her own bed. The only snag I've run into with it is when our power went out! I ended up laying in her room until she fell asleep but the next night she went right to sleep again.

One thing I've found out with DD is that their sleep cycles change and what works for monthes may suddenly change. She used to love listening to music to fall asleep and now she doesn't want it on. I think she just likes hearing DH and I talk and the music interrupts. I have learned that you have to find new things often b/c they love to keep you guessing!

[waiting4cristo]

Thanks Melissa! that's a creative idea with a string of "pretty" lights on a timer; I also like the idea of laminated pictures. Today I'm picking up photos that I printed to put into little albums for each of the kids, photos of them with different family members, on special outings, etc. Maybe that will help him, if he brings that to bed with him. And I agree - their schedules can change at the drop of a hat! You think you've finally got this thing down, then BAM!, they change it. Ah, the challenges of motherhood....

Thanks again for the suggestions.

[carolynpep73]

All great suggestions. In our house, it's not a matter of sleep resistance in the form of crying. Olivia just plays, sings, gets out of bed, etc. We have a very consistent routine that includes relaxing with books, soft music, and flower twinkle lights to give a low, soft light in the room. Sometimes I lay with her but she knows that if she plays around I leave. It seems like Olivia just has a hard time settling down. I am going to pick up the no cry sleep solution just to see if there's anything I'm doing or not doing that could make a difference. Like I said, it's not a matter of crying. I guess that's why I'm so stumped. Good luck to everyone!

[teachergal]

My DD is 5 and has been home since she was 5 months old. She still sleeps with me. I have tried everything during the past couple of years, read every book, and had no success. I recently found out that her adenoids and tonsils are enlarged and was referred to and ENT. The ENT referred me to a sleep disorder Dr. My daughter had a sleep study done. The Dr. said that she never falls into a deep sleep because of her enlarged adenoids and tonsils. This causes her to wake up easily, like when transferred to her bed etc. He said not to try to get her into her own bed until her tonsils and adenoids are removed. Then she "should" sleep deeper, be able to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night.

She hasn't had surgery yet, so I can't say this is successful. I just thought I'd add a diffferent perspective in case you are like me and nothing helped.

Good luck to us all!

[carolynpep73]

It's so interesting that you posted about adnoids. My daughter's ped mentioned she may have to have them removed. She already has ear tubes and I wish they would have taken her adnoids then...oh well. I have a follow up with her ENT and I'm going to ask him his opinion at that time.