[DeeVee]

I just brought Jesse for his first doctor visit here. I've known all along that there are some developmental issues, but from the information I received from our agency we thought we might be dealing with mild CP.

Anyway, I have to bring Jesse for blood tests (ok, that's normal, BTDT w/ Carolina) but one of the things she wants to test for is called Fragile X. Never heard of this, but the dr. said it can cause developmental delays, and that the delays are usually able to be overcome. Her main concern is autism, so of course I didn't react very well when I heard that word. And she did say that his social delays could be from his environment, that it may be too soon to tell, etc, but she saw some signs that have her worried. i.e. he doesn't point, won't focus on something you are trying to point out to him, whether I speak in spanish or english, he does not put words together other than numbers, doesn't engage in pretend play, his social development seems way behind. And she did say that everything is so new to him that he may just need some more time, however, she thought it was important to have him evaluated, as he could need some agressive treatment.

Someone please tell me this is going to be okay.

[cbmstephanie]

It's going to be just fine. Whether he has delays or not, it's going to be just fine. He's a perfect little guy who thank goodness has you watching over him. Don't worry....God knows what he's doing...he made sure Jesse was with you for a reason.

That said...he's only been home a few days. His world has just been turned upside down. I wouldn't point or play or some of those things either.

Don't worry...you'll know more soon, just try not to worry!

[ohanagirl]

Hi Dee. I am so sorry for the news of the doctor visit. I have taught special ed for nearly ten years and have taught many students with autism. There is a wide range on the autism spectrum (it is a spectrum ranging from severe to very mild forms) The one common denominator in success is early intervention. It is good your doctor wants to be aggressive and rule it out before waiting to see if it gets better as he has more time to adjust. Students are making wonderful strides with intervention. Please know you will be in my thoughts and I hope it is just a matter of Jesse adjusting to his new environment. It must be really tough to go to all new language, smells, sights, and sounds overnight. Know that we are here for you.
Take care,
Amy

7/13/07 Veronica Born
9/20/07 Referral
3/08 PGN
4/08 KO
4/08 PA FINALLY!
4/08 Back in PGN
5/6/7/08 KO's back in, Ko's back in, etc, etc
8/25/08 BMI
**Waiting for OUT** Please please please be soon!!!

[kristibk]

I have a bio son age 12 (almost 13). We have had different issues since he was 2 years old. He didn't speak until he was almost 4. Because of this, we also had behaviorial issues as well. He needed a one on one aide until the end of 3rd grade. We had him tested for ADD and Asperger's Syndrome. He has traits for both of these but not enough for a diagnosis. My son is my bio son and there are never any guarentees in life. I love him for who he is and I have to realize that he may not go to college and be CEO of a company. But he is a great kid with a wonderful sense of self and a great sense of humor and imagination. He doesn't look at the world the same way others do but I love him just the way he is. It is hard sometimes to want so much for our children but we have to accept the way things are. God gives us what he knows we can handle. (some times I wish he didn't trust me so much) We are waiting for our 6 years daughter to come home from Guatemala. I have visited 3 times but I still don't really know her. we know we will have challenges but we will love her no matte rwhat just like you love your son. We want what's best for our children and though your son may not realize it now, thank goodness he has you and your family to care for him and love him and give him everything you can. children are blessings in our lives. Good luck to you and your family and just take it a day at a time. Have faith...

[karen nickols]

I agree about early intervention but the little guy just got "home" . Everthing from the food to smells are different. Goodness right now if someone say hello to Noelle see scrunches up her face and growls. And she had six weeks to get used to us before coming to a new home. Just keep loving that guy and watch him blossom. Keep us posted and we will keep praying. Karen

[KarynB]

Just popping in here as our youngest son also has some delays (language mainly so far). I would be really cautious about taking him for too many tests right after bringing him home. He really needs to learn how to trust you, and that might be hard to do if he is being poked and prodded all the time. JMO, of course. And how accurate can the tests be at this point - his world has been turned upside down.

My DH pointed out the same thing when I got worried about delays, autism, etc - he said "He is who he is and we love him no matter what". It totally calmed me down, because it helped me see I love him 100% BECAUSE of who he is...no in spite of his issues. Good luck, and hang in there, everything will be fine.

[bls0708]

My son is six months younger than yours and came home a year ago. He was in a hogar for the first 14 months of his life. I just wanted to tell you that a lot of the things you're seeing in your Jesse, I saw in my son as well. Everyone always commented on how even-tempered he was, that he seemed so content with whatever situation he was in. I saw indifference, and sometimes just plain unresponsiveness. The creative/imaginative play thing --- absolutely!!! After being home for a year, he has just started to develop the ability to play like the other kids at daycare. He now makes planes fly, cars "vroom", and pretends he's swimming in imaginary water. Three months ago he wasn't doing that. He is still content to play alone, but interacts with others much better. Please remember, some of this is just normal toddler development, too. Like everyone is saying, give Jesse some time and you will see amazing things blossom in him. His personality will surely astound you everyday. Just expect delays and be glad that you'll be there to witness so many of his firsts. Please keep us all updated on his progress. I'll be thinking of you both.

[dac_cincy]

OK, I am on the fence on this one- he is just a few months younger than Bug, so I have that to think about, but on the other hand he has only been home for 2 weeks. This has been a huge transition for him. I wonder if the doctor suggested reevaluating in 6 months. I know when I brought Bug home, the International Adoption clinic placed him behind on nearly every level from their evaluation at 6 weeks home, but 6 months later, he was ahead in most areas. Alot had to do with his comfort level in new surroundings and his comfort in his life, in addition to the work I did with him (thanks to the what to expect the toddler years). I think all of that helped with his stimulation and developmental growth.

So, if you docotor does not see many children who were adopted, you might want to check out talking him to adoption specialist, or taking the wait and see attitude for another couple of months.

But, if the doctor has experience with children who have been adopted, then getting the test done may help in getting servicces to help your child sooner rather than later.

I will be praying for you,
Love and hugs,
Deb

[myrachel]

Dee..
hang in there your little guy will be just fine... he has a wonderful family who loves him no matter what.. Ive found that the doctors are overly cautious & I hope this is the case here

alex

[SKL]

I agree with both your doctor and everyone posting above.

It is very likely that your little one is in a kind of shock, and has regressed. Since you didn't know him in his previous environment, it's impossible to tell. I can tell you that my older daughter acted a lot like you are describing when she came home. She would not make eye contact, point, look where I was pointing, copy any gestures, didn't know what to do with toys, would hardly eat, smile, etc. And it took quite a while for her to really come out of her shell. I worried a lot in those days. But she is fine.

That said, your doctor has some specific tests that he wants to run based on some things he has seen. I would talk with him to prioritize and time the tests. When it comes to things like genetic disorders, the diagnosis won't be affected by your little one's current state of mind, right? So you might want to prioritize those kinds of tests, if they feel they can do something about these things by beginning treatment soon. I wouldn't rush things that can wait, because if you do, it could feel like trauma upon trauma to your little one right now. You might want to delay even treatment for a known disorder, just to let your little one get acclimated.

I guess my point is that although your doctor is probably right to order tests and interventions, I suggest you push back and make sure he's giving proper consideration to your baby's adjustment and attachment needs.

[JoshGuat]

I agree with Dac C about the Dr. who may not see adopted children often. I found a Dr who is interested in adoption and it was helpful. Also, I PM'ed you. Keep us posted.

[Niclayson]

Do you live near an international adoption clinic?

Last fall, I was honored to have the opportunity to spend a few days learning with Dr. Miller at Tufts University Medical Center in Boston. My son had not gotten great care when he came home for a spinal tumor that he had...and originally I was contemplating international adoption medicine for my dissertation topic. I asked her if I could come see what her clinic was about (I'm a nurse.)

What I learned is many physicians are simply NOT knowledgable about typical post adoption behaviors, developmental issues, and also basic health screenings of immigrants. IAC's know all about our children's healthcare needs.

I highly recommend her book...The Handbook of International Adoption Medicine. It is a great read for adoptive parents and healthcare providers alike.

Your son has been home only a short time. Don't freak. Get him evaluated but if you can select a provider familiar with internationally adopted kids (they DO have their own set of challenges...language barriers being a large part of the intial problems) that would be your best option (in my humble opinion).

Hang in there and many, many hugs.

[mommytoEli]

don't panic yet. i like when doctors order eval's for stuff like this....better to be safe. i pm you.

[Travelkid]

I'm certainly no expert, but I agree with the other posts that it seems a little soon to diagnose him. He has gone through so many changes so quickly.

Many, many hugs your way and know you are in my prayers.

[krafmatic]

First off, take a deep breath. I know that it feels as if your world has been literally rocked.

While I really believe that early intervention is REALLY important, I also believe that any evaluations done that would be impacted by behavior (that includes anything but medical type tests, like the one for fragile X) would not be a true evaluation of where he is at becuase of his recent transition.

If I was in your shoes, here would be my plan:

1. Any medical testing should be done, but prioritize it so you don't overwhelm the poor boy any more than necessary.

2. Make his day really rich with developmental activities. Think gross and fine motor activities, reading, "teaching" him how to play. Spending as much time as possible with him as he does these activities will have a double benefit for him by helping in his development and attachment/bonding. As much as humanly possible, immerse him in learning...including learning different ways of playing.

3. Wait a few months and then have him evaluated. If you are really working with him at home 3 months, or even 6 months, won't be a huge delay.

I would also look into an IAC. It might be worth a road trip to help get things figured out.

Best of luck.