[angel_bayou]

Dee, No matter what the dx is things will be fine. I have learned that God never brings us to something he can't bring us through!! My prayers will be with you and your family!!

[cjrogers]

Ok. First of all, Dee - Hugs. Many hugs to you. How stressful this is. I am so sorry.

Now -

OK. From the sounds of the posts, he has only been home a short period of time, right? He was recently taken away from his family and everything he KNOWS. Children mourn too. In different ways that adults. Plus, standards are different in GT! Kids don't develop at the same rate there, for obvious reasons. They catch up though.

I need to say, that your physician's candor is bugging me a little bit. Umm, this is his first visit. Is this physician familiar with GT, IA? Is this is a general pediatrician? (Sorry I don't mean to offend any docs out there by saying this, honestly) But many of them have no specialty other than pediatrics. Or is this a specialist?

To suggest autism, fragile X or anything else might be a little over the top for a 20 minute doc's visit. All of our kids have developmental issues from an American standard/perspective!!

I would suggest that you start keeping a journal of what your son is doing and when. Is he making eye contact and playing at certain times? Does he seem comfortable yet? Does he smile? Is he engaging, even for a minute? How does he interact with the primary caregiver? Can you make him mimic sounds or movement - even to the slightest degree? Keep a journal.

I can tell you that my ped told me that my son had high tone and other issues going on. I later found out that this was not true at all from a specialist.

On the other hand, it's good that she's sending you for testing and aggressively ruling the "bigger" things out. In the meantime, have you called your County's EI program? If not, you should do so. They operate independently from physicians. Early therapy and quick intervention might get him up to speed.

And God Forbid - if there is something going on, you can handle it and with therapy you and him may be able to overcome it.

Try to keep yourself busy, stay calm and try to think positively. Don't let your stress or worry leak over on him right now-- Just love on him.

Good luck and do keep us posted. I'm sending many positive thoughts and prayers your way.

cheryl

[cjrogers]

I also want to mention that we went through the gamut of medical testing. MRIs, probes, biopsies, barium swallows, audiology, opthamologists, you name it. With 7 months of therapy, my little floppy man is now walking around, climbing on furniture and babbling. It took a long while to get us where we are. But he has caught up and is a very assertive yet social little guy.

CP AND Autism (like others have mentioned) run the full spectrum of mild to severe... both can be dealt with... I dont know your son's age, but with CP - there are often some obvious issues going on already, mostly with movement. I was given those concerns, so I did research and met people with CP children to better understand it. PM me and I also know of another person on this board who kind of manages a support group for kids with special needs who were adopted from GT.

I also know a little bit about Fragile X. PM me if you want more info or resources.

[DeeVee]

Thank you all so much for your support. As far as this ped goes, she does have quite a bit of experience with IA, so I trust her judgement, And she did say that his behaviors could simply be a combination of his prior environment, and the fact that his whole world has been turned upside down. However, there are some specific behaviors that raised some red flags, and she thought an eval. by EI services would be a good idea.

As far as "poking and prodding" -- an EI eval. is not intrusive at all. A regular dr. appt. has more poking and prodding. A therapist comes to the home and plays with the child for an hour, asks you lots of questions, watches how he interacts with siblings, parents; we've been through it before with Carolina. And our ped did say I could hold off on it for a month if I wanted to, but check back with her to see what kind of progress Jesse has made.

I guess I kind of knew that something is not exactly "right" -- even given the fact that Jesse's whole world has been turned upside down. Just hoping and praying that whatever it is, we can handle it.

I'll keep y'all posted.

[matthewsmom0505]

Oh Dee! This must be so hard for you. It could be nothing more than adjustment issues, but it could be more. He's still your perfect little man, no matter what, but I know this isn't what any parent plans for, unless, of course, you know from the beginning. I agree with the others that he is with you for a reason, and while it may not be clear now, in the end it will be just fine. Your family will be in my prayers, and please keep us updated. He's a beautiful little guy!

[amyfk]

Wishing the best for your son and your family Dee.
Amy K, NJ

[wvamom]

KarynB,
I can so relate to your statement: My DH pointed out the same thing when I got worried about delays, autism, etc - he said "He is who he is and we love him no matter what". Gotta love these husbands who keep things in perspective for us!

When our son was born with Down syndrome I was worried about him not being "perfect." My husband told me, "He's our perfect Wesley." And so he has been!

Dee, I hope your son does not face the special challenges that you are concerned about. But even if he does, it will be okay. Take it from a mom who has been through a lot with her five kids, who still frets over them, and who finds that, over and over again, it really is okay!
Carolyn

[mevertin]

Just wanted to say good luck with your little guy. I am an EI teacher and we have had some experience with internationally adopted children. If we had gotten an referral on a little one just home we would probably meet with the parents and do some observation but put off any form of assessment for awhile until your little one is more comfortable. I am impressed that your pediatrician picked up on some red flags at the appt. We seem to have the opposite problem of the doctor saying "don't worry about it..." when the parents feel there is an issue. I know your head is reeling, but know that there are lots of services available for your family and Jesse. I have worked with many children with many types of special needs so feel free to PM me with any questions.
Mary
mom to Bobby 11, Bridget 10, Angela 8, Eddie 3 (home from Guatemala in 2005) and Naldo 15 months (home since Feb.)

[DPline]

Sending ((hugs)) and prayers your way!

Time magazine did an article on autism and fragile X syndrome in June I believe. I don't remember the details of the article, but I do remember it was very understandable from a layperson with no medical background standpoint. I am sure you can google it and read the article on-line if you think it might be useful to you.

[drasusi]

DeeVee, it sounds like you have covered a tremendous amount of ground between your first and second post on this thread! Congratulations, and keep up your strength and good work.

It took a frustratingly long time to get our EI eval done when my son came home....so much so that he didn't qualify for services by the time they finished, though his initial gross motor delays were profound! So I think it is WONDERFUL that your pedi is encouraging you to get started.....esp since I believe in most states the evals move out of the hands of EI after the third birthday...they become harder to come by, and are often costly.

Whatever the ultimate diagnosis, it sure sounds as though he'll be lucky to have a thoughtful and caring family looking out for him....may you enjoy the blessings he brings as well as surviving the challenges!

[Larue]

Hi my friend. I'm so sorry. I'll give you a call this weekend to see how things are going. Sending you many hugs.

[annaguat]

I don't know if it going to be ok in the sense that you probably mean ok but yet at the same time it will most likely be ok. I want to encourage you and tell you that my now 17 yr old DD, adopoted at 4, had many issues like that as did her bio brother adopted at 5 1/2 now almost 19. They in essence had instituational retardation (lack of stimulation). Yes, there is residual, even now,but at the same time they are great human beings and some of their hardships early on in life have made them strong and uniquely who they are. Your precious son has been home just briefly. Give it all some time. I know when I immigarted tot eh US as a teen I was very overwhelmed and tired eventhough I understood some of the language. He has not yet had the time to even settle in yet. I do hope all the tests come back negative in that he doesn't have any medical issues. Hugs and enjoy your new little one. Anna

[annaguat]

Beautifully said Carolyn.

Originally Posted by wvamom

KarynB,
I can so relate to your statement: My DH pointed out the same thing when I got worried about delays, autism, etc - he said "He is who he is and we love him no matter what". Gotta love these husbands who keep things in perspective for us!

When our son was born with Down syndrome I was worried about him not being "perfect." My husband told me, "He's our perfect Wesley." And so he has been!

Dee, I hope your son does not face the special challenges that you are concerned about. But even if he does, it will be okay. Take it from a mom who has been through a lot with her five kids, who still frets over them, and who finds that, over and over again, it really is okay!
Carolyn

[DeeVee]

Originally Posted by wvamom

When our son was born with Down syndrome I was worried about him not being "perfect." My husband told me, "He's our perfect Wesley." And so he has been!

Carolyn

Your DH's words made me cry (in a good way). DH came home from work early yesterday and was very supportive and understanding of me, and he also said "God wanted us to be Jesse's parents for His reasons, and we will love him and do whatever we have to for him, just as he is."

Thank you all again for your words of encouragement, and you offers of advice via PM. I may be PMing some of you in the coming weeks, depending on the outcome of the bloodwork and the EI assessment.

[stephjoel99]

Even if the worst comes to pass and he does have an autistic spectrum disorder it still can be okay. :-)

My son (bio) had all of the same symptoms of your Jesse (although the major difference being your son is experiencing all kinds of new and possibly scary different things and also is likely overwhelmed). We did all the evals and he was diagnosed on the spectrum - semantic/pragmatic language disorder (which is like a variant of Asperger's Syndrome - although he was also labeled PDD by another specialist).

We attacked it from every angle - diet (although the scientific community and some parents see no help with that, we did and I think it was very critical to his recovery), neurologists, sensory, physical and speech therapy - and I am very proud to report that my 6 year old son is a hillarious, loving, affectionate (sometimes quirky but that's what makes him great!) 1st grader. Doing 2nd grade math (he LOVES him some numbers) and reading just awesome. He no longer fits the criteria for Asperger's, SPLD, PDD or anything. He's quirky mind you and still physically awkward but he's "cured" as far as the neurologist is concerned - so don't let anyone EVER tell you it can't be done if that is, in fact, what you are dealing with. It can be.

I am praying that is not what you are dealing with - or anything else of a medical nature - but that he's just having a tough adjustment. Trust your mommy gut, though - which it sounds like you are doing. Mine has never let me down - and our ped. neurologist told me the same thing, that moms are practically like doctors where their own children are concerned. Again, my prayers are with you - and if you'd ever like to email or PM I'm here for you. :-) :-) :-)