[FourAndDone]

I don't post a lot but need some advice from you seasoned moms and dads. My two oldest sons started all day kindergarten two weeks ago. They are definitely intellectually and socially ready for kindergarten, but I have serious doubts that they are physically ready.

Since school began I have two of the whiniest, defiant, screaming, crying, whiney, defiant (and oh by the way, did I mention whiney and defiant) children I have ever met! I know they are just tired. I put them to bed at 7:30 and they get up about 6:10. I put them to bed, but I can't make them sleep.

I am seriously considering taking them out and waiting until next year. My household can't take much more. My middle son is the worst, but he has always needed more sleep than the other one.

Any advice? I tried calling one of their teachers last night but nobody was home. I am at the end of my rope and someone is in tears every night. Not to mention my 3 year old who is pretty much being neglected but is a real trooper. BTW I am a single mom.

Thanks

Diane - Adoptive mom to 3 little boys, 2 from Guat one from Russia.

[beejay]

I guess it would be a personal decision. Maybe talk to the guidance counselor at the school before pulling them out. My dd is 5 yrs old and just started K this week -- she loves it, I am not having any problems.

Personally I would talk to the guidance counselor, than if it comes down to it maybe another yr of preschool.

good luck

[HenrysMom401]

Before taking them out, ask their teachers how they behave at school....are they whiney and defiant to them also? If not, they may just be "storing" their stress until they feel comfortable to let it go, hence the meltdowns.

If they are misbehaving at school and generally unhappy, tired, or cranky, then you might want to delay their start until next year.

Good luck!

[SKL]

When I volunteered with first and second graders, the very experienced teacher told me that it takes the kids about a month to get used to the time change every Spring. Just one seemingly small change takes a month to assimilate! So I would give it more than 2 weeks for your kids to get adjusted to KG. There are a lot of new stresses. That doesn't mean they can't get used to it; maybe just not so quickly.

Have you considered asking them to take a nap or sit in their beds with a book and some soft music for, say, a half hour after school?

Another thought is to find out of they have an option for half-day KG.

Good luck!

[luv2teach2]

My DD gets up at 6:00. She goes to bed at 6:45-7:00 which allows her to talk for a while and then still get 10 hours of sleep. When she first started she cried and screamed the 1st 2 weeks. I realized she was tired and just needed to adjust. Give it time, it will work out and you may want to move back there Bedtime 15-30 mins. Good luck

[linda512]

I would give it some more time. My friend's daughter really struggled at the beginning of kindergarten, had behavioral issues, so much so that they saw a child psychologist. She reassured them and their daughter ultimately adjusted. I think she was always doing fine in school, but really acting out at home. It'a big change.
Good luck. As a fellow single mother, but with only one, I can only imagine how hard it is.

[StefB]

How old are they? If they are on the younger side with November or December birthdays, it's often a good idea to wait another year, particularly for boys. And if they are physically small, they'll fit in well next year anyway.

Another single mom (and a teacher) here.

[w8ting4Thomas]

I am sure you have thought of this, but I it is one thing to deal with this type of thing with a dad too. But with you as a single mom is there anyone who can come and help a couple of nights a week? Like I said, I am sure you thought of it...but you could use a little help!!!!

[brink]

If they are young for their grade, I would take them out, enjoy having them home for another year, and give them the chance to be the older ones in their class. I've never heard anyone say they wish they'd started their child sooner, but sometimes you hear parents say the other. Why have them leave home and head into the world at a younger age? Usually, it seems few think that far ahead. And sometimes I think moms can feel pressure or guilt that their kids might not be ready, when everyone else's seems to be doing great, "is so ready", loves it, etc. Do what will be best for your boys and your family in the long run, whichever you decide. They are only little once. All too soon your kids will be grown. We have a daughter getting married this weekend. How did THAT happen so fast?

[kacmom1]

You poor thing! You all must be miserable.
I would check with the teacher first to see if they are acting the same way at school. If not, maybe it's just their way of dealing with the fatigue and stimulation that comes with all day kindergarten. If so, I'd tend to think that they are not ready. Is there a kindergarten in your area that is half-day? I am not a fan at all of all-day kindergarten...it's such a long day for these little kids. Maybe a half day program would be a better fit for your kids until they get a little older.
Keep us posted!
Hang in there and good luck!

[BethanyB]

I am a first grade teacher so I can tell you that it takes at least a month for some kids to adjust to kindergarten and first grade. These little guys are young and are not used to the schedule. In fact, I'm not young and now that summer is over and I have been getting up early and working on my classroom during the day before school starts next week, I am cranky and whiny and tired! LOL! I have to get back into the schedule again myself.

Speak to the teacher to see if these behaviors are happening in school as well, and how they are keeping up with the rest of the kids.

I am a single mom to two toddlers and I know it's tough! Hang in there.

[HappyTwinsMom]

If they are young for their grade (say, summer babies), I'm an advocate for starting them in kindergarten next year. My girls turned 7 in May and will be starting 1st grade next week. We chose to start them in kindergarten at age 6 (after a false start at 5) because they simply were NOT ready. Sure, they're older than their classmates, but we don't see it as a problem. Physically, they are tiny...so they fit right in with the younger kids.

JMHO!

[allena_rose]

It sounds like you have your hands full. I'm also a single mom and my youngest started school this year...
I'm not dealing with the behavior problems that you are, but I have her firmly attached to me leg and in tears every morning. I just found out today that she is the lowest of the low on the scale for learning. (she is ODD) and has a hard time concentrating for more then a few minutes.
She was born the end of June and if she is unable to adjust in the next two weeks, I will (as hard as it is) pull her out and let her try again next year.
I think it is a decision we must make, we know are children better then anyone else.
Hang in there!

[JoshGuat]

You could try Homeschooling. I did that for my older children, for various reasons, loved it so much, we are still homeschooling!!! I was never a homeschool type of mom, but I am so glad that I tried it. It was the best decision for us.

[crick]

All good advice...

I'd just add that even at older ages, kids still take a bit of time to adjust to school. The new schedule, people, homework etc. My kids behave at school and as soon as they get off the bus they unleash into something else. It's like they have to get all that stress out of their heads and bodies after being at school all day. And yes, bedtime is also an adjustment.

Over the years some things I've done to help that you might try if you decide to keep them in school -

Let them play hard after school - run around yelling if they must. It's a great stress reliever and even 15 min. of all out crazy play (safe of course) really seems to help them unwind.

Start wind down time an hour before bed. Usually my kids are done with homework by then and instead of letting them run around, I have them play a quiet game, read with them, or some other quiet activity. I've found if they are really active before bed, it takes them longer to settle down once in bed. I typically have them go to bed at 8:30 and by 9 they are usually asleep.

Another thing I do that seems to help them with the mental tiredness is fish oil vitamins. Obviously talk to your doctor about it, but for us I truly do notice a difference. (they make them with the gummy kind so the kids don't taste the fish)