[lou0728]

As we are getting closer and closer to bringing Essie home I realize that I am going to be getting this question more and more..... We get it a lot now as people find out that we are bringing home another daughter from Guatemala. I always answer, "Do you mean are they biological sisters?". I really don't know what else to say. How do you parents of non related siblings handle this question?

[littlegirl2]

I have also been asked this questions...people are so "narrow" minded! I look forward to hearing other responses to this.

[karen nickols]

I always say yes they are . But that is never enough-people then say I mean birth sibs. Then you have to kind of go into it. I cannot for the life of me understand why it would matter but people are always curious. I too would like a nice polite answer that is honoring to my babies.

[shoegirl06]

Like Karen - I always say YES. It's none of their business in my opinion...

[SarahIda]

My answer is always "YES". That is, of course, typically followed by "well, you know what I mean" - again, I reply "YES" (let them wonder if it was in resonse to the first or the second question!).

My children are getting older (now 4 and 5) and I never want them to hear me questioning the "realness" of their relationship.

My favorite reply after I said "YES": the woman said "I mean in real life!". I said "yup, in REAL life" and kept walking!

I do believe that reality TV shows have had a role in how much information complete strangers seem to believe they are entitlted to - just my opinion!

[newnan]

I always say "yes they are"....I agree, it's no one's business to go into details...

[DPline]

The question bothers me less now that I have been answering it for 3.5 years. And I don't get it anywhere near as often as I did when they were little. But I have usually answered, 'They are not biological siblings, but they are brother and sister now.'

No, it isn't anyone's business, but at the same time, I do think most people mean well. They just don't stop to think.

[LJR1974]

Do you get Adoptive Families Magazine? There's an article about this. The author (mom to 3 boys from Guatemala) writes:

"Over the years I've handled this inquiry with defiance: "Why do you ask?" Faked ignorance: "What do you mean?" Sarcasm: "They aren't sisters." And simplicity: "Yes."

I think the author usually now answers "They are brothers now."

Unfortunately I've recently gotten the: "How nice you have one adopted son, and one of your own."

No, they are both mine, thankyouverymuch.

[lou0728]

LJR,
I get that too.... I have 2 older birthsons.... We often hear, "Oh, you had 2 of your own before you adopted. How nice." I always say that they are all my own. People just don't get it......

[GabeMom]

I just say yes. It is none of anyone's business. I don't go around asking people at the grocery store if their children are bio siblings. I have no reason to explain anything to them. When they are older we can talk about how to handle it as a family. I believe it is their story to tell as they choose and it is my job to protect their story until they are at an age to make those decisions.
My favorite is... "you know, do they have the same mother?" My answer.. YES (to myself, ME).

[GuatMommy2Be]

"In every sense of the word"

[SKL]

"Yes."

And smile and I glance at my daughters with a look that says, "they are listening to this conversation."

Now that the girls are old enough to pick up on a lot of what is said, I don't need them wondering what's missing from their relationship. If need be, I'll answer with words that are over their head, like, "they don't share the same biological parents." I agree that this is nobody's business, but I don't want to be rude and make my kids wonder what's up with that, either.

[lou0728]

Ashley,
I LOVE YOUR RESPONSE...... You sound like you know me or something...

[akasohappy]

My answer used to be "they are now", but have just moved to "yes they are and they love each other very much".
The last time someone asked me if they were REAL brother and sister our 8 year old replied "Well I am NOT her FAKE brother!" I was mortified because he was sassy with an adult, but at the same time could totally relate to his frustration.
It stinks because the kids hear all of these comments.

[cmfayz]

I HATE THAT QUESTION!!!!! I want to just say "yes" and leave it at that, but I'm afraid it will lead to more questions/comments so I just say "they are not biologically related"