[lou0728]

Anne Pearce is 21 months old..... We have only left her overnight once with my mom. DH said he doesn't think she is ready. We are also concerned with the reception she would give Essie if she just "shows up" with me and Dh......I would appreciate any advice and would LOVE to hear the positives and the negatives.....

[Theslaws]

First of all, congratulations!

We did not bring our older DD Mia with on pick up. She had gone with to visit both times (once just 2 months before pick up). Our girls are 16 months apart and our older DD Mia was 2 (almost exactly) when our younger DD Lanie came home. We made our oder one a photo album with pictures of the 4 of us, just the little one etc. for her to look at while we were gone. My parents talked about the baby and her coming home while we were gone. We also left a small gift for her to open each day "from her sister" - nothing like bribery! She stayed with my parents while we were gone and the 3 of them met us up at the airport. My parents took Mia to Target and let her pick out a present for Lanie. They let her put in a gift bag and she handed it to Lanie as soon as they saw us. Overall things went really well. She didnt seem to have any major transition problems. Not to say they dont fight now but the homecoming was really good!

Good luck!!!

[prayingmommy]

I'm been trying to decide the same thing, Lou. My son is 2. His pediatrician suggested we not take him (she specializes in international adoption). In addition to the obvious, that we would be exposing him to potentially getting sick, she also said that the pick up trip was to be our special time with Maria Jade. She added as well behaved as my son is, it would be a big adjustment for him to be in a strange place seeing mommy give a lot of attention to a new baby. I haven't taken him on any visit trips. I think I will take her advice. I will miss my son terribly (as I have on other visit trips) but I want to do what is best for both of my children. Maybe the best place for our family to bond will be at home. It is hard to know what the right answer is. Let me know what you decide.
Valerie

[matthewsmom0505]

Lou, my DS isn't from Guatemala, but we did take him when we picked up DD in May. It doesn't sound like that's your concern, so my old post will tell the story better than I can revisit it. Bottom line--we really think taking him along was worth the stress and extra plane ticket. He only objected to us paying attention to her for a few days and once we got home things have been really great between them. Here is my previous post on the subject:

Originally Posted by matthewsmom0505

Take her! Our DS turned 3 the week before our embassy appointment last month. He's "homegrown", so I didn't really think safety was an issue, so I can't share your concern there.

Other than a few normal meltdowns, he had a great time. DH entertained him during all of the waiting at the Embassy. We took coloring books and markers, etc., but didn't use any of it. He tells everybody about his trip to "Guatemawa" and his favorite people at the hotel, the airport, etc. I'm really glad we took him!

If you can afford the extra ticket and manage the extra luggage, snacks, toys, etc (a portable DVD player saved our lives!), take her take her take her! It will be the trip of a lifetime for your family.

I also started a thread on 5/4/08 and got some suggestions and tips related to this as well. There was another thread about the subject too, around that same time I think. cmbstephanie started it I think. Maybe you can do a search for them. I say take her! It'll be great!

[DeeVee]

We brought Gabriel on a visit trip to see Carolina when she was four months old. He was 3 1/2 at the time. He did great until the third day, when the green-eyed monster took over his normally sweet personality.

We did not take him on our pick-up trip because we thought it would be too difficult to keep him entertained at the embassy. In retrospect, we could have brought him. However, since DH, Carolina, and I all came down with Rotavirus while we were there, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise that Gabriel was not with us.

There are pluses and minuses. I think since she is only 21 months old there is no real need for AP to be there. But, if she would not do well apart from you for several days, you may want to bring her. My kiddos have all spent the night at Grandma's before, so that part of it isn't an issue for us.

[cmfayz]

Matthew was 21 months when we brought David home. We did not bring Matthew on our pick-up trip. DH was totally against it for safety reasons and because of the added stress/difficulty of traveling with a toddler and an infant. I really didn't want to leave him, but he was staying with my sister and her family and we were very comfortable with that. I think it was better that we did not bring him because it gave us a chance to spend time with David before introducing him to Matthew and it made the trip a whole lot easier!!

[lou0728]

I haven't really been concerned for her safety. She is a United States citizen, and she has the same rights as the rest of us..... I don't know HOW she would do with us being gone for 4-5 days. My mother would also be the one to keep her, and she is having some health issues. I don't know if my mom could handle her all that time by herself.... We're kinda forced to take her if DH goes. She went on the first visit with us and did great traveling. She has flown a couple of times, and DH does just about everything on our trips (lucky me). So, folks, it looks like she's going. It will probably be crazy, but it will be my new life...... Keep on sharing your opinions!

[jemmawag]

Lou, so happy to see you're out! We took both bio kids to visit but they are older, 11 and 4. Our youngest went for pu, it was such a help for us. She and ds have such a bond I think it was really helpful for a successful transition.

[carolynpep73]

Lou,
When I was on both my visit and P/U trip I saw several families that had their older children with them. Some kids were about 3 and some were about 13 but it didn't seem to be too troublesome...or at least they didn't share that with me. If it were me I would take Olivia, even at that age, but that's just me. Olivia hasn't spent a night away from me yet I'm sure it has it's pros and cons but I think I know you well enough to say that you would rather have her with you, even through the ups and the downs, to welcome Miss Essie into the family. I am SO VERY HAPPY for you!!! I cannot wait to see those pictures of your family finally complete!!!

[PackGirl]

Only on one pickup trip did we not take an older sibling...and it was probably a mistake for us.

For K's pickup, we knew he would have a horrible transistion...and he did.... but we broke little E's heart when E walked in with grandma and grandpa to find an intruder in his house....

For F's pickup, we took both boys (2 year and a 1.5 year old) F bonded to them hugely quick...and I think it made it easier for everyone!!!

For L's pickup in May... we had all 4 kids with us! It went better than I ever thought it would.

jmho

[cbmstephanie]

Maria was a little over 2 years old when we picked up Flora. She was so excited to see "her baby Flora". I am glad we took her and I wouldn't have changed a thing!!

[akasohappy]

I say take her!!
We took our son down to visit DD a few times and we have the best memories of those trips.

[nannyisme2004]

I did bring my then almost 4 yrs old daughter on pick up trip of her brother. SHe also came on the visit trip with me. I would have it no other way. Plus we were able to spend a couple of hours with DD's foster mom (almost 3 yrs after DD coming home).
We were in Guatemala almost a week and my daughter was very jealous of her new brother. On the other hand, DS was used to having an older sister at foster home and I think it helped him transition to have DD on pick up trip. I never feared for DD's safety. We walked all over Guatemala City, went to the zoo, etc.

Congrats on being out!!!!

[Mariais5]

Has she been on the visit trips with you too? We took Bryce on all of our visit trips but one, and she was on the pick up trip too.. She and Sofie did fine together, and I personally wouldn't have done it any other way.. Spending time at the Westin pool and making Bryce a part of it was a great bonding experience for all of us. Bryce had just turned two a few weeks before I picked up Sofie... Congratulations!

[mildredjohn]

We took Maria Jose with us for the pick up of her baby brother. She was 18 months old and it worked perfect for us. It was great for her and us alone to bond with her little brother before going home and have all the visitors that we had. We had to stay 5 days because our visa day was Friday.