[redru2004]

Oh I feel your pain, when we brought our son home we battled with sleep too, along with a host of other attachment issues. Typically Lucas would take 2 naps a day, but in order to get him down I'd have to rock him while he had his bottle, typically for about 30 minutes or so. This worked in the begining but later on, when I would go to transition him from my arms to the crib, the moment I sat him down he'd cry. He'd often also startle himself awake, like an arm would flail or something and that would wake him up. He was 10 1/2 months old when he came home, and we started to swaddle him like you would a newborn and this helped tremendously. At night time he'd sleep fine until about midnight, but then he was up every hour screaming. We'd just go back in and rock him and sooth him and in time it went from waking up 7 times a night, to 3 then to 1. When he got to the point of waking just once a night (this was probably after 3 months home) we gave it some time and then let him cry it out simply because it didn't matter what we would do for him, he just wasn't happy. Honestly he cried it out for less that 20 minutes the first night, and less than 5 the second night and has been sleeping through since then, but it took us 4 months of attachment parenting and rocking to get there. GOOD LUCK!

[JanelleD]

Thank you for all of your replies, they have been very helpful. Of course, today he took a 2 1/2 hour nap already this morning. The toughest thing for us has been that he is such an early riser in the morning. But, some people are just made that way.

One thing that makes the sleep issue tough is that we now have 4 children 3yo and younger! We have a 3 1/2 yo, 15mo, 11mo, and 1mo!! So, sleep is precious to us. Also, I count on naps somewhat right now for me to spend time with the older children or to focus on our newborn. I know in time we will get into a groove.

Today when I put him down for a nap he immediately stood up and cried. I say "good night" and lay him back down. We did this about 4 times and then he stayed down. I have been doing that occasionally but I can see that it's working.

Blessings!

[Sianoa]

It seroiusly takes time and trust.
I wish you the best
Stephanie

[kathy0987654321]

We still have our own sleep problems, but I have gotten a lot of help from the Weissbluth book. Yes, he does advocate the CIO method but we have used his methods for co-sleeping instead. I have particularily gotten a lot of help from the timing of sleep that he discusses. If I recall correctly, his book does discuss the science behind the circadian rhythm of baby's sleep (ie, when it's easiest for baby's to fall asleep and stay asleep).

Our kids are the same age so they need 2 naps a day now. One in the morning around 9 am (or 1-3 hours after awaking) and one in the early afternoon around 1 pm (2-3 hours after waking from the morning nap). And of course you use the kiddos cues for sleepiness during these times. The naps should be 1-2 hours long (less than 45 min is rarely refreshing for this age and longer than 2 hours can interfer with the next nap or bedtime).

My son is very difficult to get to go to sleep (nearly impossible if he is overtired). So for the first nap we make it one hour after awaking. Basically he gets up has breakfast and goes back to bed. All still groggy. This is one of the recommendations of kids that were previously colicky.

Bed time is recommended as between 6-8 pm and wake up time is 6-8 am. Anything before 6 am is considered a night waking.

So while that didn't directly answer your question. I was thinking that maybe using those times during the day where it's "easier" for kids to fall asleep and stay asleep might help. Actually, I have no clue....I'm a newbie mom and am just quoting from a book!

[OLA07]

Hi there, hope you sleeping patterns smooth out. Ours did. We brought our son home at 8 mos. He is a crib sleeper, but we held him until he fell asleep before putting him down. We just sensed that this was right for attachment (at least in our case). We had a routine with the bottle just before sleeping too. That changed for naps once he was eating more baby food. A child psychologist friend said not much has been studied on self soothing/ sleep development in adopted children, so she couldn't just recommend the CIO our similar, but didn't discount it's worth either. She did however suggest that we play quiet soothing sounds or music, repeating, so when our son awoke, he'd hear the same sounds that he fell asleep to, building familiarity in environment. We believe it helped, problem is we haven't stopped that practice and I'm not sure if constant music (soft Vivaldi) is good for the brain all night long.

THIS NEXT PART IS LONG:
When our son was 11 mos. he started to fight the "oh you are taking me in for that nap or bedtime thing, I'm on to you... "and squirmed and cried in our attempts to hold him into sleep. So I read up on methods and found one that I was comfortable with (hubby was too). It has been a blessing and felt like the "magic cure" for our case. Simply put... give your child 5 minutes (exactly!) with you in the room soothing in whatever way you choose (not engaging with eye contact or conversation though). I'd hold our son, but as soon as he squirmed/fought I'd lay him in the crib. Yes he'd be mad, but I'd begin rubbing back or chest (even when our son stood for those 5 minutes crying I'd rub or just lean onto the crib edge; no eye contact). Then say night night or sweet dreams, whatever you choose and leave the room after the 5 minutes (no more no less). YUP- you guessed it, crying, loudly.
Now-- listen to the cry, if he cries HARD for 5 minutes straight then quitely return to the room and begin your soothing routine (no eye contact or conversation). EXACTLY 5 minutes later leave again. Listen to the crying- it must be HARD crying to begin the clock for 5 minutes count. If it subsides to soft crying, stopping, or anything of the like for 20- 30 seconds even, just leave it. If he starts crying HARD look at the clock and begin the 5 minute count- only if he's cried 5 minutes hard will you go back in to sooth. It's tough to listen too, but I tell you 5 minutes at a time is easier that CIO, to me that is. The first try of this took 40 minutes of back and forth- I admit he was overtired to begin with so my bad. Needless to say, now, our son is either asleep within the first 5 minutes after I leave, or I return after the first hard crying bout and he stops and bam he's out with a few rubs. I admit to a couple time going in with out the HARD cry, because we were not at our home and very off schedule so I didn't think it was fair, and that he had a fear/ anxiety piece involved, but typically- the 5 on 5 off was a blessing. I don't even remember the Dr. who described it, just found it on the web, so you might do a search. Good luck and hope my story helps someone else.

[guatparents2be]

simple advice from an attachment parent: sleep with him until he is settled and he trusts you and his new surroundings. truthfully you can probably use the extra rest too.