[CarmJoeMom]

to reopen instead of going with another country now I told him the wait can be years, or it can NEVER reopen but he said that he feels he pictured a Guatemalan child when he pictured our family, and now he can't get the image out of his head. He said that he only wants to adopt once (we have two children already) and he really wants it to be from Guatemala.

I have to say, that I kind of feel the same way, but I am afraid that if we wait on Guatemala, it will NEVER reopen We do have time to wait and see, but I don't want to wait years to complete our family.

I don't know if I should press the issue or let it go. I am at a loss. Arrgh. Men!

[kzwief]

I wouldn't press the issue. If your DH feels that strongly about it, I would wait. You never know what will happen.

[annaguat]

Hmmmm...... Yes it is hard to change once you envision something. We always envisioned adopting from Korea, Vietnam or China because of our back ground. I knew people adopted from Guatemala and I had been there but felt I would never adopt from there. Oddly enough the Lord saw it different and brought us 4 children from there. Ultimately for us the dream was to bring children home by adoption and that was more important then that it had to be from a certain country. The more flexible you can be the more likely it is that you will be able to adopt. I have a friend who wanted to adopt from Guatemala but everytime she tried she ended up with only Vietnam working. Everytime we tried to adopt from Vietnam, Korea or China we brought children home from Guatemala. Your child(ren) might not be in the country you think they are. I would rather adopt from a different cvountry then not adopt because I can't from the country I prefer. Ultimately for me the adoption of a child goes above what country, race etc. Anna

[DPline]

I know you have put a ton of time and research into different countries. Could you and DH maybe work out a compromise that you will will X amount of time for Guatemala to reopen and if it doesn't you will move forward with another country?

(((hugs)))

[CarmJoeMom]

Anna, I am going to print out your post and read it to him. I don't want to force something that doesn't come naturally, but I really think he needs something to "show" him that he's not thinking with his head. We shall see.

Debbie, I did talk to him about that last night. I asked how long does he want to give it, and he said until we have had enough. Whatever THAT means!

[DPline]

Originally Posted by CarmJoeMom

Debbie, I did talk to him about that last night. I asked how long does he want to give it, and he said until we have had enough. Whatever THAT means!

That sounds just sounds like something my DH would say!

I know it isn't the same thing, but when we first started talking about adopting, my DH had a hard time giving up on fertility treatments and moving into the adoption mindset. What swayed him was attending a seminar on international adoption put on by our homestudy agency, and also talking to the husband of a friend who had adopted. My longwinded point being, would your husband be willing to attend a/some information seminar(s) on other countries? Not pushing it, but sort of introducing the idea from someone other than you.

[CarmJoeMom]

That is a good idea, but the country we are looking into is Kyrgyzstan and I'm not sure if there are any agencies near here that would have an informational session. Let me look into that

[DPline]

Hmmmm . . . making it a little harder . . .

Do some looking around, but the seminar DH went to was put on by our homestudy agency, and covered, very generally, all the basic countries that were currently open. Kyrgyzstan is not one of the 'big' ones, so that definetly might be harder, but don't discount the possiblity of a homestudy agency (ours did homestudies for international and then also domestic placements) as a possible resource.

Good luck!

[jpl]

we are hearing that Guatemala should re-open sometime in 09'. We are also on the fence..one child form Guatemala and waiting to start her sibling...we feel like we are just sitting here twiddlin our thumbs waiting....

[CarmJoeMom]

jpl,

I've heard sometime in 2009 also. BUT I am not holding my breath, as if I learned anything from all my research, its that dates means nothin to anyone in the adoption world! I don't think they ever stuck to a date in any way, shape or form

But 2009 would be PERFECT for me...so here's to hoping!

ETA: One thing that worries me though is that I really hear NOTHING about opening it back up from anyone except some agencies. It doesn't seem to be a priority for anyone else, really. Unless I'm just not reading the right stuff. It seems very hush hush. I don't know if that is always teh way it is when countries close down, if everything is spoken behind the door type of thing, or if they are just really quiet.

[Summer95]

DH and I feel the same way as your husband. We are waiting until Guatemala opens back up to go for our second adoption. We have had endless conversations about this topic, we have researched other countries, and it never fails, we always go back to Guatemala.

Let's keep our fingers crossed and keep praying that adoptions will resume next year. Until then, I am getting my paperwork together to complete another homestudy.

Good Luck and God Bless

[dylav]

What if you did a domestic adoption and requested to adopt a Guatemalan child? I am sure this is possible through an adoption attorney.

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[Princesa's Mama]

DH and I were going to do a domestic adoption and the first referral we were given was a little girl in Guatemala. I remember sitting at the orientation our agency put on for prospective adoptive parents,and the director told everyone to be open because we may end up getting an international referral instead of a domestic referral and visa versa. I thought to myself, "Not us!" We are not going to do an international adoption! There is so many more hoops to jump through besides the extra time and money involved. We felt led at the time to accept the referral from Guatemala and it was nearly one year later that we brought our little dolly, Sarah home! What happened next was a total miracle! As we were packing to go to Guatemala for PU, our agency contacted us to see if they could show our profile to a Guatemalan birth mom who lived in our state and specifically requested that her child go to a home where there was another Guatemalan child! When we got to Guatemala, we got an email saying the birth mom had accepted us and one month from the day we go Sarah, Samuel was born and we took him home from the hospital. Our director had said that you will get the child you were meant to get but not necessarily the one you planned on getting and that proved true in our case! We would have never gotten Sam if we hadn't gotten Sarah and I cannot imagine my life without either one of them!

[Amber76]

I have to also say that you just never know where your child will come from. Our hearts were absolutely set on Guatemala after our daughter died there. But, after a few months, we were losing hope of Guatemala reopening any time soon. It took a lot of soul searching, but we decided to move to looking into domestic adoption, then less than a month later we brought home our son, who is Guatemalan but born in Texas. I don't know if pressuring your husband is the answer, but I'd certainly keep talking about it!

[TXTennis]

I am waiting as well. I've searched and Bulgaria looks interesting and Peru as well. The issue for us becomes our DD. We can't bring her to these countries per the agencies, and I don't feel comfortable leaving her home with anyone - even my brother the doctor.....

There are agencies starting in Mexico for 3 yr olds and up and that might be an option if I wait longer. I won't disrupt the birth order and I have a 23 month old.

So, we'll wait and see -