[Shannavi]

I want to start the adoption process again (as soon as Guatemala gets their act together or from another Latin country) and would like to know what it is like to bring home a child above the age of 2. How difficult was it for the child to adjust? What problems could we be facing? Not sure what else to ask but please feel free to give any other information or opinion. (PM me if you don't want your message to be read.)
Thank you!

[Devora]

One of the best resources for learning about older toddler adoption is Mary Hopkins-Best's book Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft.

I know it's highly recommended by many parents and it's one that made me feel much more comfortable with the idea of adopting a preschool aged child. If we adopt again we will probably adopt a preschooler. (In part because I'm leaning toward adopting from Peru and given their requirements re: age, we would be eligible to adopt a child 4-6 years old.)

[KarynB]

Hello,

Our son had just turned three when we brought him home from South Africa.

Of course - the most obvious problem you may be facing is attachment issues, which our son definitely struggled with. He was indiscriminantly friendly at first, and then progressed into problems with impulse control, showing empathy and aggressive behaviour. We had two fairly rough years, since then things have steadily improved. He is now 9, and quite well adjusted although we still struggle with "orphanage behaviours" now and again - especially during times of transition or change.

That being said - we most likely could have avaoided a lot of our problems if we had of been more prepared for attachment issues and dealt with them better from the get-go.

He adjusted fairly well overall. Enjoyed all kinds of food, and learned English quickly (knew some before coming home).

If you have more specific questions, feel free to ask or PM me anytime.

Karyn

[saranbr]

I pm'd you.

[brink]

Ours from Guatemala have all been older. Our two sons each came home at 4yrs. They had no attachment issues, which is a good thing, since I knew little about that back in 1998 and 2000. They are nearly 14 and just 12 yrs now and are doing great. Our two daughters were much older when they came home than you are thinking, but also have had only quite minor issues compared to what some experience. They all four lived in a smal private, wonderful orphanage. They had to learn about being part of a family, and we all had to "grow" on them, as they learned to love us as family. Just know that when things might get difficult, they will get better. Some days it might only be your committment to them that keeps you going, on the days they still seem like "strangers" in your family. If you go into it realistically and give them the appropriate time to learn to love you, it is so worth adopting the older child who desperately needs the love of a family to become all they can possibly be. Best wishes.

[kacmom1]

Our son was 2 1/2 years old when he came home and we had no problems. He adjusted very quickly and easily! He was and still is very attached to me and asks everytime I leave..."when are you coming back". He doesn't like me to leave him, but he is ok and secure with my husband and his siblings.
Coming home to a house with 4 other kids was great for him. I think it made his transition much easier.
AND...his foster mom did a great job in preparing him for us. She taught him our names, showed him our pictures every night and he even "knew" me the minute he saw me in the Marriott hotel lobby! He saw me and said "MOMMA"!!!!!
Good luck with your decision!

[praying4rlittl1]

We brought both our kiddos home when they were just over 3 years old. Not to be pushy, but if you check out my blog right now and read back a bit, I'm currently blogging about some issues of older child adoption from my perspective.