[cbmstephanie]

Just wondering how you all felt about this. I received the invitation for my nephews 2nd birthday party today. The party is going to be at a waterpark. The invitation states that the admittance fee is $15.00 per adult, or if you are more than 48 inches tall and $8.00 if you are less than 48 inches tall.

OK..so not sure if they will charge us for Flora or not, but let's assume they do, it will cost us $46.00 to go to the birthday party. Not exactly what I want to spend fifty bucks on but OK. My sister however has 4 boys...$90.00 just to go the birthday party. They are struggling financially and it just seems like such a waste. After all, she still has to get a gift too!

I don't know...I'm disappointed at my sister in law for choosing such a place for the party, but it is her child's party and she can have it wherever she wants. I just don't know if she should expect everyone to attend.

Thanks for letting me vent!

[mommytoEli]

i just asked my husband what he thought about this and he said:

"my feeling is that this would be a birthday party i would not be attending." lol. he added that if he felt obligated to attend, he would hope that on the invitation it would request "no gifts."

good luck with that one.....the family part makes it a sticky situation.

[BobMiami]

Stephanie, I am teasing of course, but I would rsvp by saying my husband and I can't attend, but we'll drop our kids off! Let the partygiver watch all the kids! Think of what would happen if every parent did this!

I personally think kids' birthday parties are way over the top. Unless it is for a really good friend of my son's we can always find something else to do. I kid you not, a while ago my son and I went to a birthday party held by some usually normal neighors for their 3 year old kid. (Yeah, 3.) They rented a hall, and literally had an open bar, a seperate buffet for the parents, another buffet for the kids, a clown, a face painter, a band for the adults and a seperate area (this pissed me off) for the nannys, and waiters with hor d'ouvers (sp?). And these are people of presumably moderate means (they live in my neighborhood!).

In your situation I guess I would just grin and bear because it is a relative, but then again, I might suddenly get a gallstone the night before the party.
Bob

[BobMiami]

Okay, Stephanie. I was still thinking of your situation when I was taking out the trash just now.

I must change my advice. I was wrong. Don't go and tell your sister-in-law that you are outraged. Get her good and mad at you! You must nip this in the bud! Now! Otherwise, you run the risk that your SIL will invite you and your family to her kid's wedding in a few years! (That would be pricey!)

Teasing, of course,
Bob

[cbmstephanie]

You're right Bob...what the heck is she going to do for his graduation or his wedding? Did I say that I think she's an idiot most of the time anyway so this really didn't surprise me. And maybe other people don't mind, I could just really use the fifty bucks for groceries, or gas or just about anything other than a waterpark that I don't really want to go to!!

I'm still thinking about the dropping the kids off thing, but then again...I wouldn't trust her with my children so that wouldn't work.

Originally Posted by BobMiami

Okay, Stephanie. I was still thinking of your situation when I was taking out the trash just now.

I must change my advice. I was wrong. Don't go and tell your sister-in-law that you are outraged. Get her good and mad at you! You must nip this in the bud! Now! Otherwise, you run the risk that your SIL will invite you and your family to her kid's wedding in a few years! (That would be pricey!)

Teasing, of course,
Bob

[keirasmom]

Wow, I think it's really nervy! Can you imagine sending out wedding invitations asking guests to cover their meal? Seriously, what are people thinking. My SIL recently started having her children's bday parties at restaurants. Now hte rest of his family is doing it too! I freak out every time and my DH and I get in a big fight over it. He doesn't get that it is costing us nearly $100 every birthday because we have to buy our meals (DH does not restrict himselfto one beer or cocktail especially when he's with his family)plus a gift. After the last birthday I just gave up on him seeing anything wrong with it.

We always have parties at our house or at the most I rent a public park pavillion to accomodate our large family. Why do people think that the entertainment has to be the main attraction. Kids have so much more fun being kids running around and playing with eachother, and it's so nice to be able to sit and visit with your adult friends and family.

You probably don't want to cause a big uproar in the family but my advice would be to mention something to your SIL about it. Maybe askign her if she's gotten alotof regrets from people not able to attend due to the expense of the party location. Perhaps it hasn't occurred to herIn my experience if they get away with it once it just opens the floodgates.

[JillnChris]

I would probably not attend either. I also would never host a birthday party where the guests had to pay to go.

[mamaskoby]

What nerve!!! I wouldn't go!

[grumpyskirtgirl]

I wouldn't go. But I would probably still get the kiddo a gift and invite him over to play with his cousins and give it to him then.

[SKL]

Did you say 2 years old? What can you even do at a waterpark with a bunch of babies in diapers?

I do not think I would go. First of all, neither you nor your kids are going to be able to do anything with the water (unless they have made waterparks baby-friendly since I've been to one). Secondly, the cost is not justified. Honestly, that's just inconsiderate. I could almost see it if it was an older child and a particularly special birthday and he specifically requested the venue, AND asked for no gifts. But if your SIL gets away with this for his 2nd birthday, what's the 3rd gonna be like? I agree with Bob, you gotta nip it in the bud. Chances are if only 3 people RSVP, she'll cancel the waterpark and do something more sensible.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by SKL

But if your SIL gets away with this for his 2nd birthday, what's the 3rd gonna be like?

sky diving????


sorry...couldn't help myself. lol.

[dutchmum]

In this case it is great to live in a very calvalnistic country like Holland. No way a birthday party would be in a waterpark. To expensive we Dutch don't like to spend money. Most birthday parties are still at home and won't start until the child is in 2nd or 3rd grade. (Age=invite kids). You do not have to invite the whole class if you don't want to and you can give the invitations to your friends in the class without having to sneak them via mail or any other way so others won't get hurt that they are not invited.
(I still find this stupid, Reality is not every one likes you which is okay)
You play games like pin the donkey, bobbing for apples, you know the old fashion ones, that are more fun.

I would tell my SIL that sorry, but we can not attend, the price is to steep, plus it won't be fun for my kids, but we will come to the house another day to celebrate his birthday. With todays economy she can not expect to have a lot of people coming.

[kirbystarcat]

I just booked a birthday party for DD at the local zoo. 10 kids and their food are included in the price I am paying for the party. Adults however are $4 each. There is no way I would dream of asking the parents to pay $4 a piece. I knew when I decided to have the party there that that was an additional expense I would have to foot. I made out a guest list and figured out what the bill would be if everyone came. There is also a cost for food for the adults or I can bring it myself. I will foot that too. IMHO it is wrong to expect people to pay to go to a party that you are hosting.

[littlegirl2]

She is obviously unaware of how rude this is...maybe you are the teacher in her life!! :-) LOL!! I know its uncomfortable, but maybe let her know the truth...like you are not in a position right now to be able to afford this and ask her what ever happened to the good ol' birthday parties in the front/backyards!! Suggest a get together afterwards so you can still "celebrate" and give a gift. If you just don't go...she won't understand why AND will have something next year that cost $$$ too, BUT I bet she would pay YOUR way!!

[matthewsmom0505]

I have to agree with kirbystarcat and those who said just don't go. If you plan a party at a place that charges to get in, you, the party planner, should plan to pay for all who attend. My guess, from dealing with friends and family who are the same as your SIL, is that she's not asking everyone to pay, maybe just close family since she doesn't mind losing face with you.

Again, I'd say that you shouldn't go unless you absolutely feel strongly about being there. The good part is that your kids are young enough that they won't even know what they're missing, and you don't HAVE to tell them about the party at all. Good luck with your decision!