[SKL]

My daughter is 20 months old now, and people are starting to ask about her speech. Funny thing is, she has always been ahead of the curve in her "ability" to speak, when she so chooses. But it's mostly for my ears (and those of her sister) only. Most people haven't heard much out of her other than "duh" and "enh." But to me, she'll spontaneously use around 100 words and also sentences (e.g., "oh, see, there's a deer"). I am wondering if this is normal and whether she's likely to "grow out of it" soon.

[shoegirl06]

In my experience, it was DD's comfort level with the person with whom she was speaking. Her daycare teachers asked me around 18-19 months if she spoke (she had just switched rooms) and I said, "Of course!" because she talked non-stop (& still does!) at home. I said they needed to give her a few weeks to get comfortable and then the speech would come out. She's almost 31 months now and still will NOT speak to someone she doesn't know very well.

[carolynpep73]

I don't have any of my own personal experience but I can tell you that I've had 2 students (first grade) that were very much like that. Of course, they were much older than your daughter is now. They would only speak to one or two people in class in a very low voice and RARELY spoke directly to me. However, if I had to call home you could hear them running, yelling, talking and playing in the background. They were eventually diagnosed with something called selective mutism. I believe Dateline or 20/20 did a story on this a few months ago.

At 20 months it could very much be something she'll just grow out of. I would suggest talking to her Dr at her 2 year check up just for some reassurance. Good luck!

[luv2teach2]

My DD did the same thing for a long time. She is now almost 3 and talks to everyone. I think alot of it was shyness which at times still surfaces.

[DPline]

My daughter is 4.5 and has been talking in full sentences since she was 2 - but only to people she knows. And often not even then. She is very shy. Particularly if there are a lot of people around. Her preschool teacher joked all year that her entire goal for the year was to get Lauren to have a conversation with her. (It never happened!)

There can be other reasons - like Carolynpep73 mentioned with the selective mutism - but I think it can also just be personality/shyness.

Personally I prefer it to my son who will say anything to anyone! He is forever embarassing me in public!

[kolbybraedyn]

My daughter was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when she was about 3. Now she is a very chatty 8 year old at home and also speaks approprately at school and other social settings. Email me with any questions.
Best wishes,
Kara

[SKL]

I looked up selective mutism and found it interesting. I feel there is some anxiety at play, not only affecting speech but other stuff as well. I feel she's generally learning at a decent pace, but because she holds back in so many ways, she may be missing opportunites to practice and expand her horizons. I keep hoping that as her "secret" abilities grow, she'll gain the confidence to show them to others. (Note that she won't even really talk around other adults who live in her home, and says very few words around the nanny who has spent over 25 hours per week with her for the past five months.)

[Rhody]

My son is 2.5 and he is non-verbal until he gets comfortable in his surroundings. He was in preschool this year, and didn't speak until the second half of the year...at least in class, when we would pick him up he would chat all the way home and all night like he was making up for lost time.
We joke he is like the Bugs Bunny frog that sings opera, and then when he is in the spolight says "Ribbitt."
He started talking more by mid-year in class, but he is still shy around strangers. We expect he will grow out of it as he gets older, and keeps expanding his vocabulary.

[djhuebner]

I had this experience with my oldest granddaughter- now 12 years old. She would not speak to anyone outside of her immediate family, nor would she allow anyone else to take care of her, other than her mother, father, or me. This started at a very young age. She had some wonderful pre-school, kindergarten, and first grade teachers, who recognized her abilities and allowed her to develop at her own rate. She now plays basketball, is very vocal, and interacts in a very normal pre-teen way with teachers and others.

I am not saying it couldn't be something more serious, but given that she is on target and just choosing not to interact with some people, she may outgrow this behavior.

Sometimes, I think the less of a big deal is made of it, the easier it is for the child to naturally progress.

[Triton]

my daughter was "Chatty Cathy" at our house and around Grandparents and other family members...sometimes to the point where I wish she didn't talk quite so much I assumed she would be the same around others and almost worried that I would be getting comments from the teachers that she talked TOO much. She started a pre-pre school program about 2 1/2 years old and a couple of weeks into the program the teacher asked me if she talked much at home because she wasn't talking AT ALL in school. Well, I was floored, but didn't want to make a big deal out of it in front of my daughter. As we left, I half-jokingly said "enjoy it while it lasts" (though I was still a little worried). A few weeks later (after we had gone to a trip to Disney World) I told the teacher about our trip and asked her to let my daughter tell the class what she did on our trip. Sure enough, she was so excited she started talking and never stopped. Her final class "report" referred to her as the class "social butterfly"--I have a feeling that was just a nice way of saying class talker

Try not to worry, my bet is that it is something she will get past once she gets a little older and has more experiences in social settings.

Good luck

[KKR213]

My son did this as well. At home and with my family he would talk non-stop but at daycare he was really quiet and wouldn't talk much. One morning he didn't want me to leave at daycare. He was telling me he wanted to go home and didn't want me to catch my train and more. His teacher was shocked he talked so much. After that day he is also a chatterbox at daycare too!

And like DPline's son will tell anyone anything!! I will have no secrets!

[SKL]

Heh, I think the first word my nanny heard my daughter say was "tickle" as she tickled her sister. Nanny was quite surprised even though I'd told her she had been saying "tickle" and lots of other words for months! It was kind of a breakthrough in that now the nanny at least considers my daughter to be a potentially verbal child, and she encourages her to speak. She still won't say things the same way for the nanny as for me! To me, she'll say "where Maria" very clearly, but the best the nanny can get is a reluctant "EEuh." Sigh.

Originally Posted by KKR213

My son did this as well. At home and with my family he would talk non-stop but at daycare he was really quiet and wouldn't talk much. One morning he didn't want me to leave at daycare. He was telling me he wanted to go home and didn't want me to catch my train and more. His teacher was shocked he talked so much. After that day he is also a chatterbox at daycare too!

And like DPline's son will tell anyone anything!! I will have no secrets!

[Hopingsoon]

My son is 22 months, and is the same way. He speaks clearly to DH & I, and is pretty vocal at daycare where he's been with the same caregivers for over a year; but once he's around people he doesn't know, forget it, he says nothing. My parents were in town for 5 days, and all they ever heard him say was mama, dada, & doggy.