[kathleenmarie]

I know this topic has been brought up before, but my son is 12 months old and so many people are commenting an kind of giving me a hard time about not circumcising him. My husband doesn't care, but feels why put him through unnecessarily surgery under anesthesia? I have had people have said to me they wouldn't even be with a man who wasn't circumcised and that he will be mad at me for not doing it!! I just want to do the right thing for him and honestly don't really feel very strongly about having it done .I need some input. Can you help?

[havensd]

I think it's a personal preference. It's not medically necessary. Our son just turned 1 last week and he's being circumcised on July 1st. I pretty much left that decision up to my husband and he felt that it should be done. I hate that he has to be put under anesthesia, but the pediatric urologist assured us that it's a fairly simple procedure and that our son will be up and around very shortly after surgery.

[SKL]

You will get lots of answers to this question! Personally I feel nobody has a right to tell you what to do or judge you on this matter. There are plenty of American men who are not circumcised and I've never heard of any of them being hard up for a date because of it. I've heard some men complain because their parents did it; never heard any complain that they didn't; and if they ever want it done, it can be done later; while you can't undo it once it's done.

It's not medically necessary for most boys. It can reduce the chances of some issues, but not to the extent that it should be seen as a "must." It is your free choice. If I were you, and you feel comfortable with your decision not to do it, I would just not bring it up again or discuss it with nosy people. If they MUST know your concern, have a brief response prepared and change the subject. And if, on the other hand, you DO decide to do it, don't let anyone think they have a right to criticize you on that either.

Good luck!

[mommytoEli]

i have several intact sons. none of them complain...all of them are healthy in that manner. they are fine. they came to me that way, we thought about doing one, but the doctor discouraged it and said we'd be paying for it since it would be elective. in the end i figured if it was something that was truly important for them to have done as an adult...they could choose to do it....but they couldn't choose to un-do it. so i leave it up to them.

[nannyisme2004]

My son came home at 11 months and is 18 months now. I always thought he would have the procedure done. But then I found out insurance won't cover it. Don't have the money to do it. So he will stay in tact. I have to admit it took me a couple of months to be okay with that.

[pjkay720]

We just had our son circumcised in March. My son was 13 months old. He did great. I also had my other son done when he came home. I left the decision up to my husband as I did not care either way. My husband comes from a Jewish family. I say comes from because my husband does not practice. He tells me even if he didn't have religion as an excuse to do it he still would have done it. My dad also had strong feelings about it. Don't let others decide for you becuase it is very personal and it's whatever is best for your family. I took the opinion of the two most important men in my life and so we did it.

If you do decide I have to say both my boys handled it great. The day of surgery they came home a bit groggy, but by the next day they were back to normal showing no pain. I kept it coated with A&D cream as my doctor suggested and my boys were fine. I'm very glad we made the decision to do it, but the decision for the parents to make.

[kathleenmarie]

Thanks..thats what I'm feeling. If he wants it done then he can have it done. It's his.

[HaloLove]

Hi, I am new here and I am normally on lurk mode. However, being married to an uncircumcised man, I just wanted to let you know that it has NEVER been an issue for either one of us. We are madly in love and do not plan of altering any future children. I personally find people's comments about never wanting to be with an uncircumcised man as very shallow. Just my two cents!

[SKL]

Yep . . . after all, that's the way God made man, right before he said "be fruitful and multiply" - how did modern man (or woman as the case may be) come up with the idea that it doesn't work as well if it's whole? The demon in me would come up with all sorts of inappropriate responses to that woman's comment.

Originally Posted by HaloLove

Hi, I am new here and I am normally on lurk mode. However, being married to an uncircumcised man, I just wanted to let you know that it has NEVER been an issue for either one of us. We are madly in love and do not plan of altering any future children. I personally find people's comments about never wanting to be with an uncircumcised man as very shallow. Just my two cents!

[bothsides]

I know I wouldn't do it if I had a son. Just check out all th websites about botched circumcisions. Not worth the chance in my opinion. My wife is pregnant and if we have a boy we both agree that we wouldn't make that decision for our son. If he wants to have a circumcision done when he is older, that will be his choice. This is our opinion but just an opinion. Best to you...

[Larue]

Ah, the ole circumcision debate. I agree that it’s totally a personal decision, and you and DH should make the decision based on what's best for your family. DH is German, and like many European men he’s not circumcised (he would just love the stuff I share about him on the forum ). It’s never been a problem for us. Take it from me, it all pretty much looks the same in the “heat of the moment”. If ya know what I mean, and I think ya do.

Hmmmm…I wonder if your friends would pass up a date with say George Clooney or Brad Pitt it they found out they weren’t circumcised?! I think not!

[Triton]

We really wanted to weigh all aspects of this decision. We talked to only a couple of our closest friends and family more as sounding board to our own thoughts than looking for their advice. I recommend talking about this subject to your friends/family that are better listeners than talkers.

Additionally, We went to a pediatric urologist for an exam and to talk to him about the MEDICAL reasons for/against it (he said that our son was perfectly healthy--no medical reasons for it). Though after talking with him, I was comfortable that it would have been a pretty minor procedure with a quick healing time.

My husband was circumcised and was leaning towards it, but we wanted to investigate all of the facts (partially because of the whole "be like your dad" thing). He also talked to his best friend about it (like many of you, I left the decision more in his hands because it was something with which he had direct experience). He and his best friend talked about many things including the whole "locker room" experience part of it (being teased by friends because he wasn't circumcised), when his best friend pointed out that what if most of his friends are Latino? Then he could actually be made fun of FOR being circumsized. Any way you look at it, kids can find SOMETHING to make fun of people for--you just have to try to instill enough self-esteem so they don't let those things bother them.

The final straw in our decision came when I was talking to my husband's mother about it. She told me that my husband's father had never been circumsized (which surprised me). He was a twin and they were born premature, so they didn't do the procedule immediately, and I guess my husband's granparents just decided to not go back and get it done. When I mentioned it to my husband, he had this shocked look on his face and said that I must have misunderstood. He called his mom later that night, and sure enough his own father had never been circumsized, but he had never known. At that point, he decided that our son was perfect the way God made him, and we put the decision to rest. We are really comfortable that it was the best decision for our family, and now that it is made, we no longer discuss it.

The point of this long story is to just get as many facts as you can, and then do what is right for your family whatever it might be. If you still cannot make up your mind, I would err on the side of caution--as one other person pointed out, a cirucumcision can be done later if your son is truly unhappy, but it can't be undone.

Best of luck on your decision,
Triton

[quote=Larue] Take it from me, it all pretty much looks the same in the “heat of the moment”. If ya know what I mean, and I think ya do.

LaRue--that is hilarious! And my guess is NO ONE would pass up a date with George or Brad either way

[KKR213]

I am single and hence no husband to let make the decision. I didn't want to put my son under anesthesia so opted not to circumcise. To date he has had no problems.

One of my friends has twin boys and she really researched the issue and even went so far as to ask her uncircumcised brother if he ever had any issues. He said no so she choose not to circumcise her sons.

As for your friends saying they would never be with someone who wasn't I would question them on what matters in a relationship. And hopefully by the time it became an issue they would have deep feelings for the man or do they ask men on the first date about their penises?? Yeah, I would give them a hard time about it.

But like others have said...you need to do what makes you and your husband comfortable and not care what friends, family or forum members say. If you don't want to do it then don't and tell everyone to butt out!

[dac_cincy]

If you are comfortable with your decision not to have it done, then do not let someone else change your mind. This is a personal decision for each and every parent, it is not something that the "whole world" gets to weigh in on.
It is your decision, your family's decision and tell anyone else who cares to differ with you, that YOU are the parent and you make the choices for your child.

To the person who told you their prefernce for a partner- I would have probably told them "good, I would not want my child with someone like you anyway" and walked away. YIKES, I can be mean at time.

Love and hugs to you,
Deb

[beejay]

My son was circumcized at 12 months with no problems. Like others said by the next day you couldn't tell it he had anything done.

It is totally a personal preference. I have spoke to people who was not done and wished they had been. and some guys just didn't care either way. My step dad was in his 70's when he was done -- he was having trouble and needed it done -- but he was in alot of pain and discomfort. My dad wished he was done but never was.

Remember the younger they are the less they remember. So I think it is better that if you are gonna have done do it now before they know.