[mommyto2guatboys]

Okay, i have pondered on asking this to the group for some time because it is a part of my son's personal story, but I need advice. My son I's paperwork says that he was born on a certain date, but after meeting the foster mom last month, almost 2 years after he has been home, she stated that that wasn't his birthday and she knows that his birthday is exactly 2 months before the date on all of his paperwork. I am really sick about this, and I have asked the foster mother a view times since we got home the date again and again and she keeps stating the same birthdate that is 2 months earlier. First I am so upset because I need to figure out my son's real birthdate for his sake and for him as he gets older, because what a big lie to have about his adoption. Second, I am upset because I don't understand why the lawyer would do this, does anyone have any ideas why they would change all of his documents to a different date? I did learn what a horrible man our lawyer was, so it really makes me wonder.
Then I ask myself, what else is a lie in his case? if they had to change the date of birth on everything, then what else happend in his adoption. Oh let me say that this is a relinquishment case not an abandonment case.So if anyone has any ideas or suggestions that I can do over time to figure out the truth please let me know. I have been thinking about this for a month now, and I am so sad and sick to my stomach about this.

Thanks,
Magen

[DPline]

Can I ask - how does she know it is two months earlier? Was he with her?

[mommytoEli]

off hand.....i would think they might change the date bc more people wanted newborns. just a thought. i don't have any advice except to tell you i'm sorry. i do have a friend whose birthdate is different than that on her birthcertificate....it is a long story about being born in a foreign country far from a hospital and by the time they arrived at the hospital it was a month later, and that is what her bc states. it always frustrated her bc she knows all of her docs (bc, driver's license, etc) are not right.

i don't think there is a way to rectify it, unless you can prove that it was wrong. i don't know if it is possible in guatemala, but i would try to see if i could get his original birth records if he was born in a hospital. i'd look into it....the fostermom oughta know when he came into her home, so i'd definitely investigate.

[mommyto2guatboys]

The foster mother knows when our son came into her home,and she knows when she picked him up from the hospital. She got him when he was 4 days old, so she knows, plus when this all first came out, I actually wasn't questioning his birth date, she was actually discussing that he was the longest baby that she cared for, then she stated that she had him for 14 almost 15 months, well then I questioned it because he was 12.5 months old when he came to us. There is a lot more to the story, but it is just too long to tell. We didnt' take his referral until he was 6 months old, so it wasn't like they were making him younger, they actually made him 2 months older.
Any advice would be great. He was apparently born in GC, but that could be wrong too.

Magen

[Alexismandyjr]

I PM'd you some info.

[mommytoEli]

ugh...i'm sorry i hope you find the help you need.

[DPline]

If she got him as a newborn and since he was 6 months old when you got his referral, do you know if he had been referred to someone else prior? I am wondering if, simliar to what MommytoEli said about her friend, maybe it had something to do with when his birth was registered and the BC issued? I don't know if the child is born in the hospital there if the birth is registered automatically or not.

I really wish I could come up with a good suggestion for you! I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!

[angel_bayou]

Magen, You know I feel so bad for you guys! I don't have nay advice, but I hope you get some great input on here!

[MomtoJABE]

I am confused about something so I wanted to ask, you took his referral when he was 6 months old...... was he 6 months old by the paperwork or 6 months old by the fostermom's account.

If the attorney told you he was 6 months old but the foster mom said he was born two months before wouldn't that have made him 8 months old according to her account? I just got confused reading the last few post.

My other thoughts were, if you know anything about where he was born(if it wasn't in GC). Was it in a hospital or was it registered with the registrar's office in that area. We just found a wonderful person that has helped us locate our birthmom's and get as much info from the original registrar's books. They are logging everyhing into the new RENAP system but you can still get that info if the birth was registered.

That may not help if the situation is like someone posted above but I think I recall you writing that the foster mom picked the baby up from the hospital so it would have had to be registered through the hospital.

I am rambling but just thought I would throw all those thoughts out there. Hope and pray you find some answers.

[mommyto2guatboys]

We took his referral at what we thought was 6 months old, that is based off his original birthdate. We were never allowed to meet the foster mother during the process, I actually just got in contact with her last year and we met for the first time in May, where all of this came up.

thanks,
Magen

[guatparents2be]

yikes, sounds concerning. i'm so sorry...

if you have the original birth certificate in your paperwork and it doesn't match up, then all of the paperwork has been falsified.

maybe you need to hire someone to do some investigating??

and re: the age, i think they were making him 2 months younger, not older by stating his birthday was 2 months later.

sorry!

[b_fettes]

In addition to checking the civil registry, have you considered searching for his first family? It may reveal all the info you need for him.
If it is not something you were planning on, then fact- finding alone is probably not the best reason to make contact.

We have found contact extremely positive as do our children and their first families. It has also provided so much information which is so central to our children's past and identity.
I am sorry you have discoved this info but at least your son is young and at present his birth date is not significant to him. Obviously it will be different as he grows up. I really hope you get answers soon and more useful suggestions as to what to do.

Good luck

Mary

[mommyto2guatboys]

Thanks everyone for your responses, about the age thing you are right. They were saying he was two months younger, that might be a reason they did it too, also just wondering if maybe you was referred to another family at one. Alittle troublesome, but hopefully someday the truth will be known. We want to search someday for his birthmother, but even if we were financially ready to do that right now, I wouldn't do it due to all of the circumstances going on in Guatemala. If there was a lot of corruption in his case, might not be right time to investigate that.

thanks,
magen