[mediate24]

First of all, I want to let all of the waiting families know that you are in my heart and prayers during this mess.

Our son has been home for almost 2 weeks and everything is going great. We are so blessed. The only minor issue we are having is he will not sleep in his crib and only takes good naps in his stroller. He will sleep in his stroller for 2 hours, but not in the crib! He is currently sleeping in our bed at night and sleeps through the night. We certainly don't want to rush any significant changes, but we do want to slowly transistion him to his crib. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

Stephanie

[myrachel]

stephanie...

we have been home for a month now & my DD sleeps in the pack n play, she too never slept in a crib, & I didnt want to start that (sleeping in my bed)

4 the first 2 weeks she was up every hour around the clock with NO naps during the day.... its gotten better, she now sleeps at nite only waking 3 or 4 times but still doesnt really nap more than 20 minutes or so...

It does get better.. not much advice just letting you know that we are going through the same thing...

alex

[sak9645]

Two weeks is a very short time. Your child has been through a great deal.

If you are having trouble sleeping with your child in your bed, try putting a pack and play next to your bed and trying to transition him into that. He will still be able to smell, hear, and possibly see you, but he will learn to sleep without physically touching you.

To enhance your scent, sleep with a small towel or cloth diaper in your bed one night, and then put it into the pack and play for him to use. You might also try sleeping with a small stuffed animal in your bed one night, and then encouraging him to cuddle it in the pack and play.

Gradually, you will be able to move the pack and play closer to the door of your room, and eventually into his own room. From there, going into the crib should be easy.

Some parents also try putting a mattress on the floor of their child's room and sleeping there for part or all of the night, with the child in his crib. They then move the mattress closer to the door, over time, and eventually move to their own bed.

As far as naps go, the pack and play also works. You can bring it into a room where you are doing chores and let him sleep there, so he knows that you are nearby.

Try to make sure that your child gets onto a clear nap and sleep schedule. "Cat napping" for a few minutes here and there in the car seat or stroller isn't a good substitute. Be pretty rigid.

If you want your child to get up at 6 a.m. and take two naps during the day, get him up at 6 a.m. After breakfast and a couple of minor chores, take him for a long walk in the stroller, if the weather is OK. If he is walking or cruising at all, give him a little time to practice outdoors. Go to a playground or park, if possible. Let him have a long ride in the baby swing at the playground; it's good for promoting balance and such, and it tires a child out.

Come home at around 9:30, give a snack if you wish, and put your child down for a nap. A pack and play near where you'll be folding laundry or dusting or cooking would be fine. If he doesn't sleep, that's OK, but make him stay in the crib. Go to him, reassure him, make sure he has a stuffed animal or piece of cloth to hold. But let him know he needs to lie down.

If he falls asleep, great. Whether or not he sleeps, get him up at 11:30 and feed lunch. Take him with you when you do a few errands, but be home by 2:30, and discourage sleeping in the car by keeping trips short and busy. Keep him stimulated by showing him interesting things. Do your grocery shopping or run to the post office and bank. When you get home, try putting him down for another nap. Use the time to make dinner, pay the bills, or even to take a nap yourself. It wouldn't hurt for him to be in the pack and play by your bed, while you doze or read.

I could go on, but the point I'm making is that a schedule is important. Certainly you should "tune in" to his body rhythms -- maybe he's getting ready to need only one nap, maybe he's more of an owl than a lark and is better getting up later and going to bed later -- but the schedule has to work for you and your spouse, too.

Don't let your child wait until he's overtired, before putting him to bed. An overtired child will fight sleep. He may not learn to put himself to sleep on his own. A schedule -- ideally with some familiar pre-bedtime activity to relax him and remind him that it's getting close to that time -- allows him to go to bed when he's mildly drowsy and in a position to learn how to accept sleep.

Sharon

[DFNY]

Sharon, thanks for that write-up. I wish I had seen this and understood it before I brought my son home. The need for a schedule is so important & we didn't adhere to one as much as we should have. My 3-yr-old still has problems getting to sleep by himself and I have to lie with him in order for him to go down. It's very draining as he'll often wake up once I get out of the bed. Good luck, Stephanie. I especially love the idea of giving the baby something that has your smell on it, rather than you yourself.

Damaris

[Shannavi]

We were advised by doctors, professionals, and fellow parents NOT to start having your babies sleep with you in your bed. They may end up being there for 9 years!
Get a pull-out couch or air matress and sleep in the babies room until their sleeping routine gets better. That's what we did and DS sleeps through the night. :-)
Good luck!!

[CEB]

I can tell you our experience for what its worth. At least one of us (sometimes both) slept on a futon in DS' room with him for the first 5 months. He tended to wake up a lot during the night and was rather traumatized if we were not there, but if he could reach over and feel us, he would just roll over and go back to sleep. I just wanted to give him every opportunity to adjust to his new home (and he had co-slept with his foster parents) and his new room (not our room) - and yes 5 months was a long time for alternative sleep arrangements but he had been through so much change and we did not want to rush things regardless of what others thought. We also let him nap in his stroller for the first 3 months. Wewere pretty rigid about nap and bed time (and related routines). Once we felt totally comfortable that he trusted us enough - we transfered him to his crib (with a little bit of crying it out) and then as a final step, we left the room. So, personally, I think 2 weeks is not long but you should have a plan for getting your little one into his room an dhis crib when you feel its right. Good luck!

[mamaskoby]

My son has been home since January and used to cosleep with his whole foster family, 6 kids and a mom and dad on mattresses on the floor that were pushed together.
He still screams bloody murder for hours if we try to get him to fall asleep in the crib. So far we let him fall asleep with us and then move him. But when he wakes up in the night he comes back into bed with us.
Also naps are a nightmare, but getting better. When I first got him home he wouldnt sleep at all, then he started being able to fall alseep in the car or stroller, now I can get him to sleep in a baby swing set up in his room.
Its a long road, keep me posted!!!
Luck!

[LJR1974]

Whatever your little one needs to sleep at night (co-sleeping or whatever) he will need at naps. You will probably have to lay down with him to get him to sleep for naps. Just like previous posters said, to move him to the crib you will have to make the move gradually. First next to the bed, then moving farther away, etc.

Our ds has been home 6 weeks today (wow, time goes fast) and sleep is an issue here too. I just borrowed Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child from a friend and I really like it. It's really in-depth.

One thing the author insists is that if your child is waking at night, his bedtime is too late. It doesn't make logical sense, but (according to the author) sleep begets sleep. Move those bedtimes up and the child won't wake at night.

The other thing I like about it is the author doesn't insist on one way to put your child to bed. He talks a lot about CIO, but there's also a lot in there about the "family bed" and checking on your child at different points, etc.

I like this book so much, I think I may have to get one for myself.

G/l sleeping issues can be tough!

[waitingforIsabel]

We went through the same thing last year. Isabel would seem terrified of being put in or left in her crib. I tried everything. I even tried sacrificing my 8 year old and having him sleep in her crib with her ( he LOVED the idea) but that didn't even work. We were pretty good about a schedule, predictable routine, not letting her get overstilmulated/overtired before bettime, tried no naps, extra naps. I slept on her floor, she slept on our floor. I will admit I even tried Benedryl a couple times in desperate need of sleep myself. We happily brought her into our bed, but little Miss couldn't tolerate anyone touching her while she slept, and so after one mornign when I woke up on the couch, my husband in my son's bed and my son on the dog's pillow with Isabel in our bed, we tried one more thing. FINALLY we converted her crib to a toddler bed (very close to the floor level). Oh my gosh> She loved her big girl bed. She was just barely walking, but would climb in and out and thought it was the best thing. I don't exaggerate when I say it was miraculous Ocasionally she will get out and come into our room (I hear her husky little sleepy voice say MAMA near my sleeping ears) and I put her back in her bed and stay there for a few minutes until she falls asleep. It is almost like she was afraid of being caged in. For whatever the reason, she now usually sleeps through the night and we are ALL happier during the day because of it. Good luck. It is the hardest thing!

[maxine10018]

Yeap - same thing here. My son came home at 10 months in Mar, 07. He had co-slept with his foster mom and who knows how many others. ( she had 12 kids). If his toe got within 2 feet of the crib he would scream - like he was in pain. So we co-slept for about 3 weeks. After he fell out of the bed twice, we moved the crib to our room and pushed our bed right up to it. For 2 nights straight he cried and did not sleep. We slept sideways so my DH and my head was right at the crib. And out hands could touch him. After about 10 days, we moved the crib to the end of the bed and then after about 2 more weeks we moved it to his room.

It does take time.... and it will work out. I do remember the tears I had and being soo tired. ( oh ya - found about a month after that, I was pregnant - total shocker). But for the most part, now that it's a year ago, it's all gone. Jack sleeps in his crib 12 hrs a night and takes a 2 hrs nap every day.

Just stick with it and please know - this is normal for an adopted child.

Take Care

[PackGirl]

We also are in the midst of sleep issues...but we expected it.

All of our children have co-slept with us when they have come home. All have been used to sleeping with their foster families and we have found that it has really helped them (and us) to have them sleep with us.
Our 3 boys elected on their own to begin sleeping in their room although only one (Ernie) enjoyed his crib.
With our daughter, she is sleeping with us for now... and when we belive she is comfortable at night, then we will begin transistioning her to her room and to a toddler bed. She is already pulling herself up and climbing...so no crib for her.

Personally... if you are comfortable with your child in your bed...and they are comforable and sleeping... then it is more than worth it.
We all need a little extra comfort now and then.

jmho

[aniles]

We put DS's crib in our bedroom for about 2 months after he came home - that way he could see us if he woke up, and we could be there for him if he needed us.

One of the biggest things is to have the same routine every day - read a book, have a bottle then go to bed. He might cry, but that is OK. DS would sometimes cry for 10-15 minutes in the beginning before falling to sleep. 10-15 minutes of a baby crying seems like a million years, and it's hard not to go in there, but he will see that he is safe and become more comfortable. We would also set a time limit - if he cried more than 10 min. we would go in there, hug him, rock him, and then leave, and some nights we had to do that many, many times. But, he saw that he was safe, someone was always there for him, and he could count on us. The early transition is always hard, but he will eventually be comfortable. Also, having music playing at bedtime was also very helpful for us. Thomas is now a wonderful sleeper and napper, and is very comfortable in his room - he knows it is a safe place and that he can rely on us.

Be careful about having him sleep with you because that is an even harder habit to break - especially if you don't want it for years to come! Good luck. Everyone's experience is different, so you'll have to try different things until you find what works for your little guy! But, it will happen when your little guy is ready!