[MiniSnowta]

Hello all~
Just when you think it can't get any worse, it actually does. I got an e-mail tonight that our daughter to be's birth mother cannot be found. I was told that we should wait to see if they can find her next week. I fear that with all the terrible tactics of the PGN that if she doesn't want to be found, she won't be.

I am so sad..I had already almost lost all hope of ever getting her home and this pretty much seals our fate.

I pray that I am wrong. God do I hope I am wrong.

Min

[newnan]

A very good friend of mine, and she often visits the board, last year had the same thing happen to her daughter's birthmom, after a few weeks, she was found, she had went to Mexico to find work, so it does happen, I know that doesn't make it easier for you, but lots of times the birthmothers are found once the lawyers contact the family...praying for you..

[busterleroy]

I am so sorry . Will be praying for your family.

Our son's birthmom was missing for awhile - of course circumstances were very different at the time, PGN was a pain but not the insanity it is today. Anyway, dring our ordeal I posted a thread for families faced with a missing birthmom - we talked to police, FBI and security experts in the US first then hired someone in Guatemala to find her. She was located a few weeks later but I remember being a wreck the whole time.


Text of my post follows, not sure if it will help but wanted to include the info just in case. God Bless your family.


I just posted the following as a reply to another thread for a forum member who just heard the birth mom couldn't be located. Thought I would post under a separate thread in case anyone searches for 'missing birth mother' , and most importantly, I hope no one ever needs to make use of the information in this post, because it comes with so much heartache!



I am not sure what has been done to date with your case, but we conferred with many folks on this, including receiving great info from people on this forum, and the following information may be helpful.


1. Please ask your agency exactly what is being done to locate the birthmother, and ask them to respond in writing, with dates and attempts that the attorney or contact person (see next item) has made to reach birth mother. It might be that not much has been done so far.



2. Find out who the ‘contact’ is (the name of the person who refers b-mom to attorney) and ask when the last time they spoke with birth mother. Ask if the contact has checked jails, hospitals, with the b-mom’s immediate family. Ask agency to e-mail attorney this list for the contact to inquire the following of family:



a. when is the last time they have spoken with b-mom

b. does b-mom send money home to family ( if so they will know where to reach her)

c. if b-mom isn’t close to mom or dad, is there a brother, sister, grandmother, aunt or uncle who they are close to, if not good friends

d. has b-mom disappeared in the past, and if so for how long

e. where was b-mom last known to work

f. do they have a recent photo of b-mom ( if your attorney doesn’t have a clear one)



You can authorize agency/attorney to offer $$ ( I have been advised no more than $200) to contact to give to family for b-moms travel expenses etc.



3. Look through your papers for a copy of b-moms cedula ( kind of like our driver’s licenses) It will have a photo of the mom, her birthdate, what ever she says is her occupation and the names of her mother and father, also the name of the city or village considered to be permanent address. If you don’t have it, your attorney should and ask agency if they provided a copy of this to the contact to help locate b-mom. Again, ask attorney if they have a recent photo of b-mom that you can provide to investigator if necessary.



4. Find out if the contact minds assistance in locating b-mom. This inquiry alone might make them look harder. Be careful, many contacts are dangerous people; have to work in a lot of rough areas (bars, mountain towns that don’t like strangers etc.) and they are territorial, for they receive fees for referring b-moms. If they are okay with it, or your attorney thinks it is a good idea, you may wish to hire additional help. We are working with an excellent gentleman at the moment, and I am happy to ask if he would accept an additional case if you pm me. The information your previously collected from agency/attorney, including photos is immensely helpful for them. Also your attorney may have worked with a reliable investigator in the past.



5. When they do locate b-mom, request that your attorney have her sign a POA for final sign off, and see if it is possible to schedule family court interview with social worker while she is in town for DNA testing so that you don’t have to go through this headache and heartache again. I don’t know if you have to wait for DNA results to schedule the family court interview, but if you don’t this is one less thing that she will have to travel for.



We’ve learned a number of different scenarios could be playing out: she might not understand all of the steps necessary, might think that her work is done on the adoption and she has gone back to life in a mountain town or village. It may be very difficult for contacts to travel to villages, as roads are bad and rainy season makes travel difficult. Or, she could have a new boyfriend and not want them to know she placed a child for adoption. She might work as an exotic dancer or stripper ( I don’t know why that surprised me, but we learned it is common work for females in impoverished areas) and be moving around a lot. If this is the case, please ask contact if there are favorite areas she likes to work in.

[Guatemom]

My heart goes out to you...I'm so very sorry. I truly hope she is only out of the country for work or something minimal and all of this will be resolved soon,
big hugs to you

[dance_muffin]

I'm so sorry...hopefully it's because of work. Please stay strong.

Hugs,

[SmileLaughLearn]

I'm so sorry. I'll say a prayer for you.

[robandjulie]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I pray they find her and she is able and willing to do what is necessary for your case to proceed. Three weeks ago this process was so different than it is today, and three weeks from now it may be radically different again. I pray by the time she comes in, if she does have to come in, that the system has been improved to be more humane.

[guatemama94]

I remember your struggles to get your PA!! Please don't give up hope! Try to wait this out..

Praying for you, her birthmother and of course the sweet baby.

[polinski]

I Hate To Hear That. Hang In There. The News We Hear In Guatemala. You Never Know. It Can Be One Thing One Day And The Next Second Something Different.

Stay Strong And I Will Pray That She Will Be Found.

Buffy

[littlegirl2]

Praying for you!!! I am so sorry you are going through this...but you WILL come OUT on the other side!!

[kzwief]

Keep the hope alive. Next week may bring good news. I'm sure they are trying very hard to find her. I have this worry as well.

[merkley3]

Keep the faith!! Your daughter will come home, just like mine and all of the others!! We have to be strong... these children need us, and this cannot be a fight that we surrender to!! My prayers are with your family!!

[DeeVee]

Do you know if they are taking steps to find her? Our birthmom went missing for a while, but they were able to locate her. I am concerned that she will not be able to be found again when the time comes for her interview.

It is not that uncommon; don't lose heart! I hope she is found soon.

[preciousbaby]

Don't lose faith. Our birth mom came up missing when it was time for final siganture. It took 2 weeks, but they found her. I know how it feels, and I was a wreck during that time. Just hang in there, they will find her. As others have said this happens all to frequently. I am praying for you.

[MiniSnowta]

I too hope that she is found. They are going to look for her for several more weeks, then if no luck we may hire a "searcher".

Mini