[guatparents2be]

OK, so after 6 months of being on the verge of a transfusion (due to a giant very mean fibroid) I'm going in for a laparoscopic hysterectomy this Friday the 23rd.
For the record, I'm nervous, but feel fine about the decision. I'm not one of those women super attached to her uterus, and never wanted to be PG, always knew I wanted to build my family via adoption.

Truth is though I am beside myself worried about my little man. At 20 months he's not going to get why I can't pick him up or I can't hang out with him. My heart is totally breaking... Even though he's been home a year we're still practicing attachment parenting and he gets held when he wants to, period.

I'm looking for advice from any of you that have had this surgery when you had little ones at home, and how you dealt with it. Actually, I'll take ideas from anyone...

Thanks in advance!

[mamaskoby]

Wow I feel for you, I had a hysterectomy due to large fibroids and several transfusions and I was told they cannot do them via laproscoptomy. (??_)
Can you get anyone to help you??? Like an aunt or cousin? You will need help, don't fool yourself and try to do it all yourself. Good luck!

[jemmawag]

My daughter was 1 when I had my first attempt to remove the fibroids, 2 when I had a hysterectomy. I also have an older son. I would sit and let her crawl in my lap. She didn't mind, we read lots of books and had lots of 1 on 1 time since I wasn't busy doing other things. My biggest help was dh hired a cleaning lady. Best of luck to you.

[gwenrenee007]

Your poor thing. I don't have any advice, but if I lived closer I would come and help you. I am sure your DH will be helping you tons and like jemmawag's idea of letting Julian crawl (or walk) onto your lap.

((((HUGS))))

[snshaner]

I had the same procedure done when dd was 2 1/2, and she adapted very well. DH would do the lifting, I would do the loving. She would come home every day and kiss my owies. Here is a little advise - be prepared for how tired you will be - everyone tried to tell me - but man - I WAS EXHAUSTED - more than I ever thought I would be. My restrictions were - no driving for 2 weeks, no lifting for 4 weeks and no work for 6 weeks. Best of luck to you - it is/was the best decision I ever made.
Sharon

[angel_bayou]

No real advice, but I wanted to send well wishes of a speedy recovery to you! What state are you in? Maybe some forum buddies can help you out with your little man by taking him on a playdate or something!!

[intladoption101]

I have had numerous surgeries although not that type. Oddly one of the laparoscopy surgeries was one of the hardest to recover from. Not to scare you, it was a series of things that happened that just added up on me, not typical. I don’t know if you’ve had surgery before but the first thing that jumped to mind about laparoscopy is that when I woke up my shoulders and my neck were killing me. Turns out that happens to some people due to the gas that they use to inflate your abdomen during the surgery. I am also lucky enough to be one of those people that is very nauseous when I wake up from surgery.

With that said, you really need someone there to help you or someone you can call on if need be. Sometimes you feel fine right after surgery only to hit a wall a few days later. Like jemmawag said, your son can still cuddle with you on the couch or in bed or on the floor. If he is a napper maybe you could cuddle and nap together…you may become a temporary napper. Even very little kids understand boo boos and that they have to be careful with mommy until she is all better. You can still shower him with hugs and kisses, just no lifting.

Wishing you a speeding recovery!

[Guatemom]

Same here; I had a hysterectomy (total abdominal) done in Jan '07--Connor was only 2 1/2. Ditto what other posters have said: ie, no lifting, etc.
I was blessed to have my mom close by and DH was very supportive. I pretty well lived in the recliner for about 2 months b/c I couldn't straighten out, etc. So Connor would sit on my lap and as long as he could get to me he was ok. It was the first week that was the toughest b/c he couldn't sit right on my lap or up against my stomach. You'll be extremely tired, and you'll tire much faster than you expect. I tried to sit at the computer for a bit (no laptop at the time, only a pc that sat on the DR table). I remember I got there (after toddling over to the table like mr. tuttle on carol burnett), and I sat for oh maybe 10 min's, and I thought 'what the heck was I thinking?' Even sitting up in a chair for an extended period was too much. So DON'T overdo it...
Think your kiddo will be ok. Just show him your bandages, tell him mommy has an ouchie (or whatever you call it), and let it go at that. Kids are great at understanding the simplest of things. The less unknowns for him, the better. Prepare for lots of recliner-snuggling, reading and get-well kisses!

[Guatemom]

Something else I just thought of that helped was that Connor liked to "help" daddy take care of me. Maybe try that? Let your child 'help' by bringing you things (I kept bandages, etc. in a little basket on top of the TV nearby). Involve him in your recovery and tell him each day that your tummy is getting much better.

[WVUMom418]

I had laparoscopy surgery last January with a 2 and 3 year old at home. The biggest thing was I couldn't lift Mia over the side of the crib. My husband stayed home with me the first couple of days but then when he went back to work I basically had to teach Mia how to climb out of her crib. I showed both girls my boo boo's and explained that Mommy couldn't pick them up because it would hurt my boo boo's. They were quite content with me just letting them sit with me on the couch or in bed and snuggle.

If your little one wants to be held just sit down and let him snuggle up to you on the couch, they adjust just fine.

[kellum5]

It would be helpful if you could have a few suppers planned out in the freezer. I lost my appetite after my appendectomy but my family didn't.
My DH would fix the little ones lunch and put it in the fridge on their plates and all I had to do was lift the cover.
One thing you might consider is a teen from the neighborhood to help in the afternoon.
By the time my daughter made it home from school at 2:50 it was nice to take a nap and know she was there to entertain. She was also able to just take over with day to day things such as finishing supper etc. Nighttime bath was done by daddy and then both kiddos came downstairs for bedtime book from me.
You will be surprised at how tired you feel the first couple days. Relax and take it easy. Your body needs the rest to heal properly.
I will be thinking of you Friday and next week while you are recovering!

[Suzeb1]

I had the exact same surgery last October and fortunately recovered very quickly pain-wise (I only took ibuprofen and really was never in pain) but was unbelievably tired. I'm single and was very blessed to have my sister care for my 2 1/2 year old daughter full time for 4 days. It gave me time to sleep whenever I wanted and while it was hard to be away from her, I'm so glad that I did it. She's very close to my sister (my sister took care of dd while I worked for a year and a half) so I knew she would feel safe and secure (probably safer than being with a mom who couldn't stand up straight). We prepared dd by telling her I couldn't pick her up but she could hold my hand. She responded very well to that.

I'm very attachment oriented, too and dd co-sleeps with me, but I don't think I could have done it without help. I simply couldn't stay awake all the hours that my dd was awake, but after two weeks I was able to take care of all her needs, except lifting, but we got in lots of cuddling.

So, call any and all friends and family and have them come to you, you cuddle and sleep, they lift and work! Oh, and make sure they give you extra medicine to prevent nausea, if they do, you'll wake up feeling not too bad!

The best of luck,

Susan

[stephjoel99]

I had major surgery about 3 months after Amelia came home (she was 14 months at that point).

I will not lie - it was tough. I think it even set us back in the attachment department a little bit, but there was no choice.

Before I left for the hospital (I was there a week) we started having DH do the bedtime routine - he bathed, gave the bottle, read the story, did the snuggles. We felt that it would be less traumatizing for me to be gone, then Daddy hopping in and doing all of this too.

We also made sure there were lots of pictures of me - she "talked" to me on the phone while I was in the hospital too. Just to hear my voice so she knew i was coming back.

When I got home, I couldn't lift her for 6 weeks. I did not obey that and was lifting her within 3. The first 3 that I didn't, I had my mom and a mother's helper here helping me with the kids. They would put Amelia on my bed when I first was home (and pretty much in bed all day) so she could sit with me and we'd look at books and I could kiss her and snuggle her.

Then after I was up to it, when I was on the couch they would help her up there so I could change her (I didn't change *all* her diapers, just some) or feed her or snuggle.

At 20 months, can your child climb off and on the couch yet? That would be a big help - if not, maybe you could get a little step stool. That would be great just to sit there and snuggle.

You do need help though with lifting restrictions - you just can't do it otherwise. At least not the first 10 days or so.

Email me or PM if you want to talk more about it - it really threw us for a loop but we made it through.

[guatparents2be]

You guys are amazing. Thank you so much.

I think I've done the right things to get set up. My sister will be coming here for the first 4 days after the surgery then my mom is coming in from the east coast for another 3-4 days. Then my b-i-l will come in to help for a week or so, once I don't need personal attention, just general help. I hired someone to come into my home and cook 6 meals 4 servings each to put in the fridge and freezer.

I moved the extra tv into our bedroom and ordered a hospital/lap tray kind of thing for my laptop. Bringing a bed wedge home from my office.

My doc said I'd be back at work in 2 weeks, so I took 2 weeks off then part time the following week. Sounds from you guys that I'm going to be very very tired. I wonder if I'm underestimating how long I'll be feeling badly?

Any other ideas about the boy or me, much appreciated.

Thank you thank you thank you!

[vh9076]

Sounds like you are going to have great help! I had lap. surgery a couple of times, though not as intense as yours. I second the gas pain - if you can move your arms/neck as much as you can to distribute the gas so your body will not let it sit in one place. It isn't the worst thing in the world, but it makes a difference if you don't have it. (once I did, once I didn't...I liked the didn't one better:-)

Could you get some baskets of toys, books and other fun things to place right in your bedroom?

Good luck to you! I hope it all goes well.

vicki