[One_Happy_Momma]

I can see having a separate category for military moms, single moms, working moms, etc., but separating the moms and adoptive moms was out of line.

I'm a single and working mom, what would I qualifiy under? Since I'm an adoptive mom, I wouldn't fall under either. I have a different category altogether.

[Waiting4Celeste]

My email:
I am sure that you are being inundated with emails from (Adoptive) Mothers everywhere, but I feel ALL of our voices need to be heard.

I faithfully watch the Today Show and often my children are in the kitchen when it is on. Sometimes they hear something and ask questions about the topics and sometimes it leads to quite thought-provoking discussions. I am so thankful that my children did not hear about this category of "NON-MOM" while watching your show. How could I have explained THAT?! My children know that they are adopted, but I hope that they don't EVER doubt that I am truly their MOM. I'm not so sure that I will continue to be a faithful Today Show watcher if there is a chance that my children could hear something that discredits how our family was formed.

On Mother's Day, my wonderful husband gets me a MOTHER'S DAY card... not a NON-MOTHER'S DAY card. There isn't a special section at Hallmark deemed for adoptive mothers because we are MOTHERS. If he gets me flowers in the future, I will be sure to tell him NOT to buy them from your main sponsor, Teleflora.

Trying to fix the problem by creating a special category for Adoptive Mothers is ridiculous and almost as bad as your first over-sight. Please explain the difference to me between being the mother of an adopted child and the mother of a biological child. Do you also have a category for Moms of children born as the result of invitro-fertilization? How about a category just for Moms of children who were born to surrogates? What category will you put the Moms who have children using sperm or egg donors? Because, what makes a Mom a Mom isn't what happens at the birth of a child... it is what happens once that child is in a home.

Great Moms aren't made in the delivery room... they are developed as a child grabs a hold of your heart and love overwhelms you so much that you realize that you'd do ANYTHING for that child. Having a National television show claim that I am a Non-Mom and don't deserve to be in the same category as moms who give birth is simply insulting.

An upset MOM of two beautiful blessings,
Cindy

[RyannB]

I sent this. It's too late for me to be long and eloquent.

"
Contrary to Teleflora, Today, Marie Osmond and NBC's apparent belief, adoptive parents are not "non-moms". We are actual moms. Real moms. The same kind of mom as any other mother.

'Correcting' this by changing the category to "Adopting Moms" is no less offensive. You are still seperating us from the "moms".

I am utterly disgusted at this category, regardless of the name."

[alreadylove2005]

I am so horrified by this....... I'm almost speechless that they would call us "non-moms" and then to think that they have corrected it by changing the name and still having us in a separate category..... I can't even tell if I'm more shocked, hurt, or disgusted by their obvious ignorance and lack of intelligent thought.

I wrote to NBC, Redbook, and Kraft.

[Quesita]

The night before last I did not sleep. I held my non-daughter as she whimpered feverishly, the sweat soaking her hair. I kept a towel nearby in case she vomited again. Yesterday morning we were in the doctor’s office at 8:30 AM. I sat in the waiting room with my cell phone, canceling my day’s appointments. Back at home, we played with her block puzzles in the floor and scribbled with crayons and cuddled on the couch and watched Blue’s Clues and Miss Spider. We read “Green Eggs and Ham” and “Penguin Dreams” over and over again. We counted things, and when I said “one,” she said “two!!!!”

The weekend before we had been at my cousin’s suburban home, and I watched Liana and my cousin’s wonderful boys run and squeal and toss balls and laugh together. Liana worships her big cousins. And they think she is a princess. The grownups told comic stories of holidays together in the past, and made plans for holidays together in the future. Holidays that will become the traditions and the comic stories of the next generation.

Gosh. I wonder what it would be like to be a “real” mom.

[swjp]

Here's my letter:

To Whom It May Concern:

I know that your organization has had a rush of e-mails from deeply offended adoptive parents, and I will add yet one more.

Putting adoptive parents in a separate category from biological parents is bio-centric and a blatant show of adoptism (prejudice against adoption). What your contest suggests is that I am more of a mother to the 6 babies I miscarried than I am to the beautiful daughter who came to me through adoption. Or that a woman who is neglectful or abusive is more of a mother than I am because genetics trumps everything else.

Despite the label change, your organization is still relegating adoptive parents to "second-class status," a prejudice that we AND our children must face on a daily basis.

I am so relieved that my daughter is not old enough to hear from her peers that her mom is considered a "non-mom" or that adoptive moms are in a separate category from "regular" moms. Kids who were adopted face this kind of teasing on a daily basis, but when a major media outlet legitimizes the separation of biological and adoptive families, it is even worse and even harder to fight.

Not have you only injured adoptive parents, but, even worse, you have injured their children.

Your "contest" has damaged your relations with the adoptive community, perhaps irrepairably, and with their extended families and friends.

[BobMiami]

It has been a while since I've been on this thread espressing my outrage. I am still not over myself.

Look, I'm a man. I'm single, and I play the mother role as necessary (although, as I'm sure many of you can imagine, my default setting is "father".)

I so much appreciate what you (we?) non-moms or adoptive moms do. Think about it. Think about what you do each and every day! I am very proud of and grateful for being a part of our adoptive community; but I don't really think of it as a community. We are parents. Period.

While my hair was on fire when I first read this thread, I'm calmer. My e-mails to the participants in the show were "watch me". Watch me not watch your show. Watch me not buy your products. (And then I went off on a rational rant.)

I feel sorry for you true mothers, and saddened by the slight.

I wish you all a happy Mothers' Day from the bottom of my heart.
Bob

[WaitingforBrian]

Originally Posted by BobMiami

It has been a while since I've been on this thread espressing my outrage. I am still not over myself.

Look, I'm a man. I'm single, and I play the mother role as necessary (although, as I'm sure many of you can imagine, my default setting is "father".)

I so much appreciate what you (we?) non-moms or adoptive moms do. Think about it. Think about what you do each and every day! I am very proud of and grateful for being a part of our adoptive community; but I don't really think of it as a community. We are parents. Period.

While my hair was on fire when I first read this thread, I'm calmer. My e-mails to the participants in the show were "watch me". Watch me not watch your show. Watch me not buy your products. (And then I went off on a rational rant.)

I feel sorry for you true mothers, and saddened by the slight.

I wish you all a happy Mothers' Day from the bottom of my heart.
Bob

And I wish you a Happy Parent/Daddy Day as well.
Whats in a name. A rose by anyother name would smell as sweet.
Here is a rock band to celebrate all parents out there.
Bernie

[waiting4shiloh]

I am really not usually easily offended, but this makes me so mad! This is what I wrote:

To Whom It May Concern,

I am a mom to a beautiful little girl we adopted from Guatemala. I am not someone who is easily offended by offhand, thoughtless comments concerning adoption, but your "America's Favorite Mom" contest has successfully offended me more than anything else I have come across to date. I am aware that you have changed the title of a category from "non mom moms" to "adoptive moms", and I do appreciate that, but I am offended by being separated into a separate category at all, especially one that is a category for caregivers (grandparents, neighbors, etc.). Adoptive moms are working moms, single moms and "chairman of everything" moms. I assure you that I have gone through more struggle, waiting and pain to get my daughter into my arms than I ever would have if I had been pregnant and gone through labor with her. I am her mom, just as much as if she came from my own body, and I feel very belittled by your network and contest, which was supposed to make moms feel honored. I think you need to put a little more thought and research into these things before you start putting labels on people. I will not be watching your show and will be sure to tell everyone I know to do the same.

[cheychey]

I don't normally get offended for uneducated comments about adoptive parents or children, but this whole thing has got my goat. I did send an initial letter and received their "form letter" email. This is what I responded to them with. I'm not great with wording..

To Whom It May Concern,

Do you think changing the title, but not the focus of this category helps? In NO WAY does it! You have belittled every adoptive mother's Mother's Day!!

Separating adoptive mothers from what you deem "real moms" belittles not only the adoptive mothers, but their INNOCENT CHILDREN!! Why should society give labels to adopted children. You see it all the time in the media where they will refer to someone's children as their son/daughter and their adopted son/daughter. For example when the media speaks about Angelina Jolie and Madonna's children.

Lumping us adoptive mothers with grandparents and neighbors is justifying the idea in society that we are not "Real Moms". When my daughter looks at me, I am her mommy. When she calls for me, she calls for mommy. My daughter was an older child when we adopted (past tense) her, so she knows she is adopted. In her heart, I am her mommy and in my heart she is my daughter. She is no less loved or wanted than my biological son. In fact, when my son saw your website, his first comment was, "But you are her mom!" and then he walked away in disgust.

If you want to honor caregivers that are LIKE moms, that is fine....just don't include us adoptive mothers in this category as we are not LIKE moms, we ARE moms!!!!!!

Now, I'm going to go try to enjoy the rest of my Mother's Day weekend with MY children.

[0328Lisa]

I can't believe my eyes!! Here's what I wrote...

To Whom It May Concern:

This weekend I’m celebrating my first Mother’s Day. Instead of this being one of the most happy and joyous of weekends, I’m appalled at your contest’s bigotry against and lack of sensitivity toward mother’s who’ve come to this station in life through adoption. My husband & I have just adopted our first child after 10 agonizing years of attempting to conceive a child. While I understand the spirit of your contest is to celebrate the women who have played a special role in a child’s life, by separating adoptive moms from moms, you have done exactly the opposite. Does my inability to conceive and give birth make me less of a mom? Why is an adoptive mother lumped in a category of third party caregivers? Is this how your station views my role in my son’s life, as merely a caregiver?

While I thank you for changing the title of the category from non-mom to adoptive mom, you missed the point of the previous complaints, that we are mothers regardless of our ability to give birth.

Lisa H, Daniel’s Mom.

[LibbyHawkins]

"Foster mothers, women who run orphanages, fine, perfect for that cetegory. Adoptive mothers? Not so much.
Thank you."

I find that as a Foster "Mom" I am offended by being perfect for that category. Appreciate your good thoughts for us Foster NonMoms.

For the record, being a Foster Parent is nothing like running an Orphanage, not even a little.
Can you imagine the heartache of letting the child you now "mother" go back to a home that was deemed unsuitable enough for your child to be removed.

[pjkay720]

I was offended by both the non mom and then also having a category saying Adopting mom's. When we adopted our children they became OUR children in every sense. I think me raising my two boys is different from a neighbor raising someone's child or even grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. For me when I looked at the catergories I thought of myself as a working mom. That's where I fit in. I find the whole thing ridiculous.

[dpen6]

Just was on comcast.net and they quoted one of you from these forums.!!!

Just wanted to let you know

From a non kid that was by her non mothers side, along with her 3 other nonsiblings and non father and non aunts and uncles. when she died.

Shereally didn't desrve all that love surronding her as she passed...being a nonmom and all!

[w8ting4Thomas]

I am a step mom (still a "nonmom") and an adoptive mom. So I now know I am a non-non MOM!

Thank you for the clarification