[AngelQT]

This is what I just sent them... (Today SHow, Telaflora, NSNBC and Marie Osmond....



"I can’t believe the Non-Mom Mom category.

What you are saying? Adoptive Parents aren’t Moms? This is as bad as a Racial Slur saying someone that isn’t white don’t belong in North America. I was raised not to judge a book by it cover, and everyone is equal. We have tried to break the barriers of Judgment, yet a National TV Show promotes it? Better yet, isn’t Marie Osmond an Adoptive Mom??? So are you saying she is a Non-Mom too? It is a shame people don’t choose their words wisely. I bet you paid a lot of money to someone to think up that title. To bad it was a waste, and VERY OFFENSIVE TO EVERY SINGLE ADOPTIVE FAMILY.

I am a MOTHER of 2 Beautiful children from Guatemala. Which happen to be Biological Brother and Sister. Yet, they are MY children. I did not carry them in my stomach; I carried them in my heart. I fought tooth and nail to have MY CHILDREN come home, and raise them together. To have someone say that I am a “Non-Mom Mom” is ridiculous to say the least. So, because I am not able to have biologically, you are saying I am not ever going to be a mom???

I use to love watching your show and buy flowers, an now, I feel like boycotting it and spreading the word NATION WIDE how big of Hypocrites your really are."

[wildboyz2]

The only "Non-Mom" in my house would be the DAD!!!! I think that I'll be writing a nice explanation to NBC about this fact!!

[stephjoel99]

This was my letter:

I was just made aware of your Mother's Day "awards" show you are sponsoring. The category of "non-mom" which included mothers to adopted children really just burned my banana.

I am in every sense of the word a mother to my child who was adopted. A "non-mom" is a ridiculous title probably created by a 21 year old intern - but it has teeth for kids who come to their families through adoption. In fact I'm quite sure that if my daughter knew I was her "non-mom" I'm sure she'd try to use it to bolster her argument that she's not ready for a nap and I can't make her take one. But since she's only 2, I'm lucky that I probably have a few years before she'll see the Youtube of your ridiculous special.

Women who adopt children are mothers from top to bottom - and their children think so too. So do the courts, and their schools, and their pediatrician, and their neighbors, and their friends at gymnastics, and their dentist, and their pastors, and . . . (you get the picture).

Stephanie, a MOTHER to 4 - who will not be using your company for flowers - EVER.

[Tamiswaiting]

OK. Wow. I do not get offended easily at all, but this one even got to me.

[SKL]

Hmm. I suppose I should be incensed, but I usually don't get mad unless I have something to feel defensive about. Lately I have had no lingering doubts about whether or not I'm a mom.

But, I feel almost sorry for them for making such idiots of themselves publicly.

[stephjoel99]

SKL, I'm personally not "mad" because I'm defensive - I'm mad because my daughter should NEVER have to hear on television that I"m her "non-mom" simply because she came to our family through adoption and not my uterus.

[robandjulie]

Boy howdy! I don't normally get too wound up, but I agree, this was ghastly. My email:

To whom it may concern:

I am writing to express my deep offense at my new title as a non-mom. I guess I should add that I’m also a mom, qualifying for your definition with one child that I was blessed to bring into this world in the traditional way. However, my son, who God willing will be joining us soon, will be my child through adoption. He will not have my eyes or my husband’s teeth or my grandfather’s laugh, but he will have me as his mom. And even before he has joined our family I can tell you with absolute certainty that I love him, worry about him, cry for him, laugh with him, and hold him in my heart in every way equal to his sister--my daughter--the child that by your definition does earn me the role of MOM.

If we’re going to play this game, where do you draw the line? We are "non-moms" because we did not give birth to some or all of our children? Should we lump “moms who used a surrogate” in here, then, too? Or does biology at the genetic level allow for the traditional title despite the lack of labor and delivery experience?

These children are our hearts and souls and by every legal, occupational, emotional, and practical definition we are their moms. It is a role and title we have to defend far too often and one I will not tolerate having devalued, especially in some misguided attempt to appreciate mothers on mother’s day. We are mothers. We are moms. It is our day and we do not need you to “extend” the day to include us through some insulting title as a “non-mom”.

If you insist on a special designation, you could call us non-traditional moms, but short of June Cleaver, what mom is a traditional mom? Give us our titles as "mom" and leave it at that.

ETA: BTW, I hope no one is offended by the threat of putting moms that used a surrogate in as non-moms too. Just trying to make a point that there are multiple ways to build a family and that they apparently didn't feel the need to distinguish all of those, just a-moms. I was hoping the highlighting of their insistence on genetics as the definition of a real mom, essentially, would be clearer if that other gray-area group was pointed out. I really hope that is not offensive, as I truly respect the role of mom regardless of the path that lead there.

[CEB]

Originally Posted by stephjoel99

SKL, I'm personally not "mad" because I'm defensive - I'm mad because my daughter should NEVER have to hear on television that I"m her "non-mom" simply because she came to our family through adoption and not my uterus.

Touche Steph. I forgot to save a copy of my e-mail to NBC, but I focused on how they described the one candidate for the award as having her own child plus six adopted children (as though they are not her real kids), how hurtful that could be to the kids and how I hope that my son does not grow up to think I am his non-mom or he is my non-son because of the way our family was formed and how it is labeled on TV. We are a true family in every legal, traditional and emotional sense of that word. I do think they owe an apology for being thoughtless about their use of terminology.

[guatparents2be]

I am sure this is about the 10,000th email you've gotten about this, but what on earth are your producers thinking? This is so incredibly offensive I am beside myself. As my 18 month old son who was born in Guatemala lies in his bed taking a nap in the other room, I wonder how he would feel being told I am not his mom? Across the country is my adopted brother in law, who is almost 50, staying at the home of his 75 year old parents who are helping him out after a fall where he broke 5 bones in his foot. Sorry, she's his non mom? Does that make my husband his non brother? And by the way, many step mothers are second, third, fourth, fifth, or sixth parents...it doesn't make them non mothers either. How about the widower who remarries and his wife raises their child? Not the child's mom? I think not. Wait, what about families with 2 moms? Is one of them not a mom?

You get my point.

Obviously no one was deliberately trying to marginalize or insult all of the adoptive and step parents out there, but trust me, you did.
I sincerely hope you are able to correct this before anything goes on the air with the term non mom for adoptive, step, and other kinds of parents.

-Samantha Brody
100% Mom to my beautiful son Julian
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[RCK816]

I wrote an email voicing my anger and concern today. But don't expect them to remove the title or apologize. I remember when anti-adoptive parent articles were run by the New York Times and L.A. Times, many of us called in and emailed our protests, but no apologies or even acknowledgement. So darn frustrating!

[amylynn3]

This is absurd. As many have said, I am usually not offended easily and can let a lot roll of my back. But, for someone to disqualify me as a MOM!!! The nerve! I sent an e-mail as well.

[michelemk]

Here was my response:

To put adoptive mothers in your "non-mom" category is extremely insulting to
those of us with adopted children. I certainly don't feel like a "mom" to my
biological children and a "non-mom" to my adopted child. I don't feel like a
"non-mom" when I am caring for, loving, and nurturing my adored adopted child.
Shame on you, NBC and Teleflora, for this insult to adoptive mothers worldwide.

Michele H,
Loving MOM to three children (biological and adopted)

[giovanni7460]

I havent read through all these pages. I just wanted to say that I did call NBC. I left a message about being the mother of 5 and 2 that are adopted. I told them my feeling on being called a non-mom. I also passed along a bit of information. i told them I am on many adoption boards (I am) and that all of us mothers are not to impressed (pissed off) about being labeled a non-mom.
I believe they now have said they are in the process of correcting this.
Patty

[JillnChris]

Oh wow. And what about the kids from Haiti that "owe her their lives". That's just great.

[Jensboys]

Facebook protest group. I'd encourage you to join. It will garner lots of attention if there are enough members. Login | Facebook