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We're about to start potty training our daughter. She is now 27 months old and we need to have her trained to start preschool in September. I know this is irrational, but I'm beyond nervous about this process, mostly because there's a deadline. (Not the ideal, I know, but all things considered we think this preschool is the best place for her.)

I'd be really grateful to hear about a particular method you used or your favorite tip to other parents.

Also, how old was your child and how long did it take?

Thank you!

Anne

[KKR213]

No advice since my 2 1/2 year old son isn't trained yet either. Would love some tips too!!

This weekend I tried to let him pick out "big boy undies" at Target and he started to cry and said he wanted to wear his diapers!

[Devora]

What we did was wait until we thought that our son was ready and then we simply put him in underwear. We committed to it for 3 days. The first couple of times we tried it we weren't seeing any progress so we waited a few months and then tried again. This most recent time it worked. He had quite a few accidents the second morning, but since then hasn't had an accident (besides an aiming one, but that doesn't really count in my book).

Signs of readiness we looked for:
- knew what the toileting process was about (what would happen, what we were doing on the toilet, how to do it)
- could tell us when he was wet or dry
- frequently told us when he was about to have a bowel movement (he would ask for "privacy")
- would sit on and occasionally use the toilet when we suggested it (we had routine times: before nap or bedtime and before we left the house to go somewhere)
- had stopped being distressed by sitting on the toilet

I suggest starting by having her sit on the toilet at routine times. If she seems fine with that and seems to understand what's going on then try the underwear (or naked if she prefers) for three days. The trick is to stick to the three days. I think that our son could have been trained 6 months earlier except that when we tried earlier we gave up on the second day when he had so many accidents. But he did the same thing this time, we stuck to it, and the next day he was accident-free.

[WJarman]

First child I showed her what to do, let he rwatch me, bought her undies and her own potty and she told ME no more diapers the week she turned 2.

Patting myself on the back thinking I was really good at the potty training thing, along comes child #2 who screamed at me and said NO if I even mentioned the potty. By 2 1/2 she would occasionally go when asked, but was mostly antagonistic about it. In desperation, I told her that kids who pee their pants couldn't swim in the big pool because they would pee in the water. She said 'Oh' and was dry from then on.

By the time #3 (and first boy) came along, I just waited until he seemed ready (around age 3) then set up a reward system. First he got the smallest rewards for just sitting on the pot, then the next size if he pee peed and the bigger size if he poo pood. One weekend and we were done.

So, if she is showing all the signs she is ready, figure out what motivates her and use it to your advantage. Each child is different.

Good luck and try not to stress about it. They are like dogs and can smell fear!!!

[shoegirl06]

DD is 2 1/2 and has been virtually accident-free for a few months now. She still wears pull-ups at night, but almost always wakes up dry. At 16 months (yep 16 months!) she would stand next to the toilet and pee on the floor before bathtime. We took it VERY slowly and bought an Elmo DVD and played it to kind of introduce everything. During the summer, she would run around in a t-shirt and nothing else in the house so when she had to go - she went! I think it's a method that John Rosemond recommends...

BTW - we had potties all over the house (okay, we have a small house, but had 2 potties plus the bathroom) so when she felt the urge, it was easier for her to go.

Good luck!!

[SKL]

I agree with switching to panties and sticking with it. Be prepared with lots of panties and lots of patience.

We started using the potties regularly when the girls were 9.5 and 12.5 months old, mainly to catch what would otherwise end up in the tub (I know, EEEWW). Within about a month, they had enough control to make sure most bowel movements went into the potty, but they really had no control over pee. However, because they went on the potty several times every day, and I would go when they went, they knew exactly what the potty / toilet was all about before I really tried any "training."

I bought one of those anatomically correct potty dolls wth a removable diaper, and I found a couple pairs of tiny rubber pants for her too, and we played pretend with the doll going potty. This was nice because I was able to talk about expectations and such without directing my talk directly to the girls, at first. For example, I said that if the doll went pee in the potty, she could wear panties, otherwise she had to wear a diaper until next try. The girls made the connection to their own learning, without exactly being told what to do.

Beginning about a week ago, my 19mo is now in cloth panties all day, but I use a backup diaper over panties for nap and a pull-up diaper for nighttime. She generally wets one panty each day, often during her nap.

To reduce the stress of the whole ordeal, I found some waterproof panties on the internet. They are thick and absorbant on the inside, have an invisible plastic layer, and are cloth on the outside, so they feel like cloth pants to the child, but I am not constantly worried about puddles on my carpet. I must admit I still stay on high alert when I know her bladder is full and she's not going on the potty, but it would be a lot worse without that hidden plastic layer.

Since beginning the panties, she has developed the understanding of "dry" and is getting better at releasing at the right time/place when her bladder is full. She came up with her own word for "I peed" and can answer my question "do you need to go potty" with a nod or head-shake. She hasn't yet begun to "tell" me when she has to go, so it's my job to ask her and take her periodically even if she says "no." (Though I wonder if she might learn faster if I just let her learn from her mistakes.) Like a previous poster, we go at specific times - on waking up, going to bed, after meals - and more often if I know her bladder needs emptying.

Also, like a previous poster, we initially tried this (switching to panties) maybe 1.5 months earlier, but I gave up because it seemed to be making my daughter nervous and less successful, and I wasn't patient enough to deal with multiple wet panties each day. I tried again because my daughter asked me to put panties on her after a potty session. I feel more committed this time, so hopefully this will be it.

I didn't use any rewards until about a week ago, when I started giving one little cheese cracker for staying dry between potty trips, and one for going in the potty. I am not sure this has had any effect one way or the other.

I feel we'd be dryer sooner if I could totally relax and trust my daughter to figure out what she's doing (while sticking with cloth panties), but that's easier said than done.

Good luck!

[DPline]

Originally Posted by WJarman

figure out what motivates her and use it to your advantage. Each child is different.

Good luck and try not to stress about it. They are like dogs and can smell fear!!!

Personally, I think this is key. (Both parts!)

My daughter was motivated by stickers. (Surprise to me. I would have thought chocolate, gum drops, something like that, but stickers it was.) She was 2.5 and basically trained in a week. We spent a ton of time outside so accidents didn't matter much (though my feet got wet more than once!) and started with going every 1/2 hour and worked up from there.

My boys were a totally different story and relate to the second part of what WJarman said. Both could not be bribed, had absolutely nothing that motivated them, and couldn't have cared less if they were soaking wet in underwear. It was a total battle of wills. They both were able to use the toilet and chose not to. At 3.5 years old I had finally had enough and they were confined to the areas of the house without carpet, wearing underwear, until they decided they would use the toilet. They could have toys, books, etc., they just couldn't be on the carpet. They both trained in a few days at that point. So learn from me. Don't stress and turn it into a battle of wills!

Good luck!!

[becky]

My best advice is wait til their ready and then only use panties (except at night). Don't leave the house or yard...commit to it for at least a week if you can.

But if they aren't ready, no reward will work...you cannot make them do something they are not ready for...

[Waiting4Bryan]

Same advice here about transitioning only to underwear. Expect a very stressful and chaotic and messy week, with lots of accidents. It's all part of the learning phase. Plus, a lot of power struggles. My son was totally potty trained in about 5 days. We also implemented a "prize box" and each time he went potty, he got a small little prize. After a few days, he stopped even asking for a prize because he was so proud of himself. We also made a big deal at first, then toned it down because I think the pressure was getting to him. Also, make sure you take him to the potty continually. Even if he/she doesn't have to go, make him/her sit on the potty for 10 seconds. My son often times had to go, even when he thought he didn't. Good luck! It's a joy having a child who is potty trained. Life is so much easier.

[purplecat]

It is something that you have to be totally committed to. We did not go back and forth to diapers or pull ups during the day, panties all the way. Best of Luck!

[luv2teach2]

I took out her potty and let her examine it and sit on it with her diaper a couple of months before I began. Slowly she started using it to go pee and then stopped (control issue) a month later we went shopping and she picked out her underwear and I explained she could not wear them until she used the big girl potty. 3 weeks later she wanted her underwear on and has not had an accident since. She was 30 months old. I also used Elmo goes potty video. I let her guide the timing of it all.
*** If I did it all over again, I would not use a little potty but train her on the big potty as it took a couple of months for her not to be a fraid of a regular potty even one brought down to size like they use at daycares. Don't force it as they may backfire...Good luck and sorry for the long post.

[BobMiami]

LOL! I probably did everything wrong. I was "happily" changing diapers, until I learned that his pre-school required him to be potty trained. My son was just before 3.

I was about to buy a potty and videos and thus and such, and asked my sister what she did. She is a very loving (but somewhat rotten) parent, and she told me that she just put her son on the real toilet and told him what she expected him to do.

Well, I did a variation on that. I did put my little guy on the big toilet from the start. He had gotten the idea of what the toilet was for because he has long stripped me from any privacy that I have in life. Number 2 (sorry) came sooner. With number 1 (sorry again) I just took him with me. I had a little stool by the toilet that he could stand on. He liked to see who had more.

That all sounds gross, but that is what worked for us. Once we started our "competition" I let him pick out "big boy" underpants, and from then on (except at night) it was clear sailing.

Nighttime did pose a lot of problems, and it wasn't for about a year later (when he was almost four) that that got worked out. After all, it is in many ways the size of a bladder.
Bob

[adoptnky]

Originally Posted by BobMiami

I had a little stool by the toilet that he could stand on. He liked to see who had more.

That all sounds gross, but that is what worked for us. Once we started our "competition" I let him pick out "big boy" underpants, and from then on (except at night) it was clear sailing.

Bob

This is totally cracking me up!!! Maybe I'll suggest this to DH! Alex is pretty competitive!!

Kim

[adcollins]

Thanks for all the tips! These were very helpful.

I did think of a couple of other questions, for anyone who's game to answer.

My husband and I both work full time. How did those of you with only a long weekend or so handle the transition to day care after the potty training started?

Also, since 2 year olds can be notoriously cantankerous, how did you guys persuade your kids to sit on the potty if they didn't want to? Our daughter can only be bribed sometimes, it seems.

Thanks again!

Anne

[ana-mom]

Originally Posted by becky

My best advice is wait til their ready and then only use panties (except at night). Don't leave the house or yard...commit to it for at least a week if you can.

But if they aren't ready, no reward will work...you cannot make them do something they are not ready for...

We have a potty for DD and ask her if she wants to use it - I don't really care either way at this point I just want her to get used to the idea.

She turns 2 in June, in August we go on vacation for 2 weeks, that is when it will be 'big girl pants' all the way.