[scottskaggs]

After a looong adoption process and feeling like some days I could barely make it through, I felt like as soon as it was over and my son was home that all would be well. I am so confused as to why I don't feel like I'm out of that funk, and in some ways feel like it's even worse? I feel like I am always tired, today I took 2 naps! I have a list of things that need done and I can't seem to get motivated to do any of them. Even writing this thread is something I have put off for days. Do you think my body is just exhausted from the stress of the long process? Has this happened to anyone else? Will it get better soon? Any insight would be appreciated.
Kadee

[cbmstephanie]

It's normal to be exhausted. You have had a huge change in your life.

Also, don't feel bad asking for help. You may need someone to help once and a while. That doesn't make you incapable, it just means you need a little help.

Take those naps if you need them!! Soon you will feel better and you will wonder what you fussed about, but for now your feelings are real and you need to help yourself, help yourself.

[BobMiami]

Hi. It sounds like post-adoption depression to me. Google it.

As with most other forms of depression, it is infinitely cureable usually. I think it is very important for you to have a chat with your doctor and see what he or she thinks.

All of our emotions get crazed over the adoption process. What you're feeling is not surprising or particularly rare.

I hope you feel better soon.
Bob

[As51598]

I can't tell you from adopting a younger kid yet since i am still waiting BUT I do have a 2 year old that i gave birth to and 3 other kids. Parenting in general can be draining. My 9 year old daughter drives me nuts and so does my 2 year old. I watch kids now during the day and it is VERY tiring. In the end it will be worth it. Do you exercise? I know if I don't get it in every day, I am more stressed. That is something I do for myself. It gives me more energy and helps me deal with the stress. I just over all feel better. Have you talked to a counselor?

[tootsi20023]

I don't think you are alone with this. I, myself, did not experience this but I remember one particular lady who got really depressed after her daughter came home back in 2003. They call it PASD, Post Adoption Stress Disorder (I think?) I believe there is a yahoo group specific for this. I'm not saying this is for sure what you have but it sounds like it. Best of luck to you.

[Theslaws]

I went through the same thing both times. Its just so overwhelming! All of the waiting and anticipation and then its just done and you have a baby to take care of! I would not say either time I had depression (and I have before so I know from personal experience) but just adjustment. I learned I had to give myself permission to take those naps and jsut give myself time to get in the groove. I'd say it took about 2 months for both our girls.

Dont feel bad or upset with yourself. The adoption itself is traumatic/dramatic and then your life changes completely!

Hope you "get in the groove" soon!!!

[LRA]

Kadee

I know exactly what you are talking about, I went thru it also. Like everyone else said it sounds like Post Adoption Depression. I had post partum with my daughter and then the same exact feelings when we brought Carlos home. I just kept saying "once we get him home my life will be perfect" and then we got him home and my life was a mess. So then I felt guilty because this is what I kept saying was all I wanted, I kept thinking what is wrong with me, I am a terrible person. I went to my DR and got meds and have been also going to a councilor (sp) You are sooooo not alone.

[DPline]

Please, please, don't be hard on yourself. And don't hesitate to talk to your doctor if you feel like you need to. There have been many posts here about people who have experienced post adoption depression. It is much more common than you might think.

(((hugs)))

[TXTennis]

I never thought being a parent was as hard as it really is, so I was shocked at how much I had to let go in the house and with many outside activities. DD is my first and only child right now and we are both working. She is 21 months old and is still exhausting. It took a good 6 months or so for me to really start to get used to being a parent, never mind a working parent.

My house was a contempory museum before we brought DD home, now it looks like a daycare center....

It will get better. Take advantage of naps and try to get some exercise.

[GDSinPA]

You are certainly not alone - there's nothing unusual about a post adoption low point or frustration, etc.

Our agency required us to read Post Adoption Blues. It seemed like strange reading way before we even had a referal, but once we were deap into the process, it all made sense.

[Saya]

The exhaustion and stress of waiting for our kids to come home does not prepare us for the exhaustion and stress of actually HAVING them home.

I don't blame you for being tired. Your life has been turned upside down. Just because you WANTED it to happen doesn't mean you don't need some time to adjust. Take care of your self. Take those naps. Get professional help if you need it. You will be OK - you just need some time.

[sferrick]

Sounds like new parenthood to me! Welcome....this too shall pass. A little post adoption depression....you will and can make it through this time. Make your self do things even if you dont feel like it. Go for walks, go the gym, but get in some form of exercise, it helps! I have had 3 biolgocial boys, adoption or biological, you still have adjustments and so does your body. Be good to your self. Blessings, Susie

[scottskaggs]

When I was pregnant with my 3 kids I was so sick that I felt so much better as soon as they were born and I was going strong soon after. I guess I am just a little surprised that this has hit me so hard. It makes sense that it may be a little PAD, I hope it goes away soon. I was so ready to get back to normal after the last year and a half of adoption stress. Thanks for the help and it is good to know that others have felt the same.
Kadee

[maccafan]

I've been struggling with fatigue and post-adoption depression since we came home on Feb. 20. Some days are better than others. My husband keeps telling me this is just part of the process, and it's OK to feel this way. Give yourself a break: Most of the items on your To Do list are probably not urgent. It's more important for you to take care of yourself as much as possible, so you can be there for Sawyer. Lots of (((hugs))) to you!

[mamaskoby]

Kadee, I have been feeling exhausted since we came home in January, I think we are all still adjusting. I just go to bed earlier (fall asleep on couch) I think maybe I was too old to have a young child??? lol!|
Hope you feel better soon, I am waiting for preschool to come quick so I can get some rest!!
Big hug,
Anna